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I think a healthy ENFP can take criticism constructively and not be too butthurt about it. We tend not to like criticism at all, but we can take it well and improve on whatever was criticized.
 

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When someone constructively criticizes me, I don't hold any grudges against that person in specific, I simply just become disappointed in myself that I couldn't make something, or be perfect the first time around. That's simply because I'm a perfectionist.

I take criticism personally when it is indeed intended to be personal. Those moments when I say something sincere and somewhat emotionally charged and someone else criticizes it simply for the sake of criticism, or spite. That's what hurts.
 

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I can take constructive criticism. Years of various instrument lessons and musical practices have taught me that very well. However, criticism for its sake can rot in hell.
 

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I don't take criticism well because usually I know exactly what I've done incorrectly or just not very well before they tell me. So when they do say "Er, that was ....*criticise*" I agree. And I feel like shit xD I'm always like... "I'm trying my best! Don't say that to me! I know! SHut up! SHUTUP!!!!!!!!" But I never show it...

I am my own worst critic. If someone else points out something, I have always noticed it first so I don't get angry at the person, I get angry at myself for letting someone else notice that I haven't been perfect. So um. I'm not sure what to make of that, other than I'm obviously a bit hard on myself and a bit too desperate to be ABSOLUTELY PERFECT ALL THE TIME OMG!11!11!

Basically, if I get criticised, my self worth drops through the floor and I go home and cry and get angry because I'm so desperate to be perfect. Even though I know perfection is an ideal and I can only be the best I can be xD


But I don't think that's particularly characteristic for an ENFP. I'm just unhealthy, obsessive and perfectionistic. Loly
 
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It all depends on motive for it. Who is doing this constructive criticizing? Are they truly trying to help, or just feel superior? Is there any merit to what they are saying, or are they just saying it because I'm different than they are in my approach? Also HOW they say it is important too.
 

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Discussion Starter #9
I don't take criticism well because usually I know exactly what I've done incorrectly or just not very well before they tell me. So when they do say "Er, that was ....*criticise*" I agree. And I feel like shit xD I'm always like... "I'm trying my best! Don't say that to me! I know! SHut up! SHUTUP!!!!!!!!" But I never show it...

I am my own worst critic. If someone else points out something, I have always noticed it first so I don't get angry at the person, I get angry at myself for letting someone else notice that I haven't been perfect. So um. I'm not sure what to make of that, other than I'm obviously a bit hard on myself and a bit too desperate to be ABSOLUTELY PERFECT ALL THE TIME OMG!11!11!

Basically, if I get criticised, my self worth drops through the floor and I go home and cry and get angry because I'm so desperate to be perfect. Even though I know perfection is an ideal and I can only be the best I can be xD


But I don't think that's particularly characteristic for an ENFP. I'm just unhealthy, obsessive and perfectionistic. Loly

Umm I don't think that anyone can have a totaly non biased view of them self all the time to the point where you would know exactly what you did wrong at all times EVER. Everyone has blind spots, even you. But, that's okay. NOBODY is perfect! I know that totally sucks to hear.
 

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Umm I don't think that anyone can have a totaly non biased view of them self all the time to the point where you would know exactly what you did wrong at all times EVER. Everyone has blind spots, even you. But, that's okay. NOBODY is perfect! I know that totally sucks to hear.
I think she realizes that. If any personality type realizes that, the ENFP does. It's more how it's delivered than what is delivered.
 

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Umm I don't think that anyone can have a totaly non biased view of them self all the time to the point where you would know exactly what you did wrong at all times EVER. Everyone has blind spots, even you. But, that's okay. NOBODY is perfect! I know that totally sucks to hear.

I know. I said I usually know what I've done and I definitely know nobody's perfect. But my self worth is so low that I feel like the only way I can justify my existence is to be the hardest worker/the nicest person blah blah blah. I have that ROAR I must be the best! thing and always have. I've been trying to change that for years but I don't think I can until I mature a bit more first...

And it's definitely how it's delivered rather than what's delivered!
 

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Discussion Starter #12

I know. I said I usually know what I've done and I definitely know nobody's perfect. But my self worth is so low that I feel like the only way I can justify my existence is to be the hardest worker/the nicest person blah blah blah. I have that ROAR I must be the best! thing and always have. I've been trying to change that for years but I don't think I can until I mature a bit more first...

And it's definitely how it's delivered rather than what's delivered!
You will get there eventually! It took me 5 longs years! You can do it!
 

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It does indeed on the motive, and whether it was deserved or not. I am very much into justice. If I deserved it, I will fix the problem. If I didn't, for some reason that hurts me more.
 

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ENFP's are very sensitive, as are all NF's. It's just intrinsic to the temperament. It makes them great companions, but cruddy soldiers.
ENFPs type 7, ENFJs and INFJs (straight males) are the best soldiers you will ever see.
 
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I'm either an ENFP or an ENTP, so I'm gonna answer this anyway:
It kinda depends on the exact situation. There are times when I'm criticized and I think that the person is completely wrong or just completely off...Then I might just forget about it and not think anything of it, or I may say something to them. Otherwise, I just use it to improve myself. I mean, if I can see where they're coming from, then I'll try to improve myself...
 

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Are you implying that I take everything personally? Why would I do that ? WHY? :mellow:

I wish I could thank this for you 10,000 times for this. It is perfect down to the little smilie face! :crazy:


Anyway, as someone else said, when I am functioning at my healthiest, I can accept criticism, but I don't like it at all. When I am at my unhealthiest...:confused: you don't want to see that. Usually I will fly into some kind of rage about how the person is being a jerk and is incompetent themselves and blah blah blah. This has happened when I have gotten too stressed out at certain jobs and it is not pretty.

I'm glad to say I'm a healthy ENFP right now, so I can smile and say thank you when I get constructive crit.
 

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In my experience, ENFPs take criticism fairly if the criticism is just and the person criticizing them is honestly trying to help the ENFP.

Sometimes, ENFPs tend to take criticism too personally and can internalize the criticism, believing it to mean that there is something wrong with them, that they really are weird--just as they've feared. This is especially true if the person offering the criticism is someone that the ENFP respects a great deal.

While it is important that the ENFP respond appropriately to criticism and to not take it too personally, it is equally important that the person offering the criticism take the time to choose the right words and to honestly examine their motives in offering the criticism.
 

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Nothing like being a perfectionist with a million flaws~

...it doesn't feel good to know you'll never amount to exactly what you want to be, and that the people you want to get closest too may not enjoy what it is you have to offer them, no matter how nicely gift wrapped.

It's hard to really, really~ be happy, when you realize who you are, and what you are~ is still not enough. No matter how good looking you make yourself out to be, or how sweet~ or fun, or laugh~ in the end, everyone has a pallet of attitudes and emotions they need from others and you just don't fit it. Whether they criticize you or not, how can you NOT take that personally? It's as personal as it gets, it's you~ it's who you are and in many cases the best of who you are~

I feel like I've tried to make a square peg fit in a round hole in so many communities I've gone to~ how can I not take it personally when the most energetic, sensual and intense of my being is still not enough to really become a part of any of it? To finally be told that perhaps I am "too" much of any one thing to truly be enjoyed~ how do you not take it personally? How do you modify the attitudes behind what you want~ and the reality that others see?

I'll never be enough~ I'll always be a square peg, and I can love that fact all I really want, but it doesn't make me not want to fit in the holes I choose to. I take criticisms to heart. I can't just brush them aside as "their problem~" it isn't their problem. It's mine~ it's me who wants to connect, it's me who wants to love them. I'm the one vying so fucking hard to be loved back~ they don't need this, they can afford to be objective. All I fucking have is "personally".

All I fucking have is me~ my body, my personality, my way of being. All the perspectives that apply to it, fucking matter. I wish they didn't, oh gosh I did~ I really wish I didn't have to feel like this. I would do absolutely anything to change it right now~ but it what I have, personal everything is me and regardless of how much I wish I could say I couldn't give a crap about what you think about it, I do~

...and yes, that's just a bit sad for me too.
 

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@Inverse--

That's pretty intense.

I think you need to start by seeking a little approval for who you are and what you contribute to everyone and everything, from within yourself. If you don't approve of yourself and feel good about yourself internally, then that will show through to everyone else externally--and they'll take you at your word. IOW, if you believe you aren't really that good and you don't have much to contribute, people will treat you like what you believe to be true.

OTOH, if you develop self-confidence and believe that you have many worthwhile traits, that will show and people will believe that also.

Approval must start from within.

And to be fair, I understand that it is important what others think of you. It is just a lot more important how you view yourself. If you are playing tapes from your past that repeat over and over that you are going to be a failure, then you need to erase them and get some new self-talk going. Positive brings positive.

And that whole ENFP trait of self-doubt and internalizing failure to mean that you are somehow personally an inferior sub-group of society needs to be thrown out the window. As an ENFP you bring so much inspiration, fun, laughter, and incredible insight to the table, it amazes me how that you can ever struggle with self-doubt. Yes, this means YOU--the one that is reading this and thinks I'm talking to the "other" ENFPs! I've never met an ENFP that didn't have much to offer...so believe in yourself already.:cool:
 
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