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Discussion Starter #1
We needed a thread on this... pure academia, all!
And remember... "This is for posterity... so be honest."

My first Princess Bride quote on PerC! Oh, I've been so good!

Alright, let her loose!
 

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Discussion Starter #2 (Edited)
Well **crickets** shouldn't have anything to do with it...

Maybe questions will help?
1. What do you think your psyche and body is after with sex? What do you want?
2. Do you think dominance/submission has to do with how you are turned on?
3. Frequency... libido? That kind of stuff? Edit question: What's your ideal amount of frequency?
4. Whatever you want to express.
 
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Discussion Starter #3 (Edited)
Okay okay, I'll start. So I truly started this because I was reading the INFJ thread and since "theoretically" (according to some sites) they are our yin-yang, I found that I felt fundamentally differently than they do about sex... as far as I can tell. They talk a lot about control. Dominant vs Submissive and the need to lose control--- seems like to me. These are aspects to me that are interesting to explore, but it's not the root of sex to me. It's not about losing control for me....

It's interesting that I feel squeamish about posting this today. Grrrrrr. .. here it is.

1. What I'm after. So for me I am either lucky or naive depending on how you want to view it. I want to feel very safe and very loved and that gives me a platform on which I can be as creative as I want and abandon myself to feeling and giving whatever I want to. I have been lucky or naive enough to always feel incredibly safe and loved in sex.
2. I really like it when he's super turned on... that gets me super turned on... He kind of feels the same... so we both are looking for that in the other lol >< So I initiate a lot because my libido is higher. He likes that. Both of us feel safe-- there's no fear or anything. I don't really understand that need some people have that I'm reading about to have fear or pain involved. Sex has nothing to do with that for me. Unless we wanted to try that out...? But I just think we'd be like.... >< yeah.. >< no.
3. Everyone knows this about me, right? Very high libido that I have to deal with, basically. I want it with my husband in the above circumstances any chance I can. Even if my imagination wants to write romance novels about other couples or whatever--- my husband is where I'm going to get all this from anyway. So when I compare what I've experienced and what my body is capable of with my sisters. I was surprised to find my sisters have no where near the awesome experience I have-- and they have had different experiences and different partners, where for me I've only been with my husband. Only 1 cousin of mine (girl) that I know of matches my libido. I've talked to some other ENFP girls here who sound like their libido matches mine. Other than ENFP girls... maybe ESFP girls...maybe ENFJ girls...we're the ones who I can tell have this energy so far. Do I feel like a freak? I could..except that I absolutely mostly love this about myself. What I do with it most of the time? Put it at bay until I can get with my husband. I don't want anyone thinking I'm not appropriate. Sometimes write novels in my head-- since I'm working on writing them anyway. Viking romance, anyone?
4. I hope the crickets go sailing off in a little float boat....
 

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Had this been a few years ago, a LOT of people would have answered.
Now there are mostly PRUDES. :p

1. What do you think your psyche and body is after with sex? What do you want?
Frankly, sex is just pleasurable. Of course I want to feel good, but it also is arousing when my partner is aroused. I'm after experiments and sensuality to sooth my indulging needs.
I want sex to last a lifetime. Those stories where one partner loses their sex drive or couples stop having sex when they're older are true horror stories for me!


2. Do you think dominance/submission has to do with how you are turned on?
I like being dominated, not going to lie. I like being at the mercy of someone I am extremely attracted to and being all vulnerable while they 'punish' me. But I also like dominating and being a queen.

3. Frequency... libido? That kind of stuff?
Hiiiiigh
 

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What do you think your psyche and body is after with sex? What do you want?
As cheesy as it sounds, I see sex as a way of strengthening the emotional bond I already have with my partner!

(Btw LOVE Princess Bride)

2. Do you think dominance/submission has to do with how you are turned on?
It depends on my mood and who I’m with. I tend to be more submissive with guys and more dominant with girls but I like switching it around a bit! The important thing for me is how my partner is feeling – if they’re enjoying it then it makes the sex more enjoyable for me.

I don't really understand that need some people have that I'm reading about to have fear or pain involved. Sex has nothing to do with that for me. Unless we wanted to try that out...? But I just think we'd be like.... >< yeah.. >< no.
Well then, I’m one kinky mofo.
A little pain is…nice LOLL but nothing extreme like BDSM. That’s too intense and I like sex to be a little playful.

3. Frequency... psyche and body capability? That kind of stuff?
Hmm, I can go a long time without sex and sometimes I’d rather be intimate with ahem…just myself, if you know what I mean. But generally, I’m fine adjusting to my partner’s libido.
 

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My experience with ENFPs in this department of things--not that it's representative--in fact, considering the material, I'd be highly shocked if it were representative--is most intriguing and almost unplumbable--dark and mysterious I mean, not that it would be beyond the abilities of, um, a competent plumber. While INFJs aren't exactly sex maniacs, I've found that, comparatively, there is an unexpected and delightful sex delicacy [hence perhaps the above "crickets"] in "my" ENFPs--lots of arbitrary beating around the bush and blushing--which I think is awfully sweet--before they get to the point I knew they were driving at an hour ago (of course I play along [blinks innocently]). And then it's a mingling of souls more than of bodies, an abstract consummation of spirit, for me a partnership of Fe and Se brought to their ultimate manifestation and power. Mm-mm-mmm. Whatever's going on with y'all, it's a different ball game than I find in others, and a wonderful one.

Of course, research is continuing. [sighs] The things I have to do in the name of Science.
 

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Maybe questions will help?
1. What do you think your psyche and body is after with sex? What do you want?
2. Do you think dominance/submission has to do with how you are turned on?
3. Frequency... libido? That kind of stuff?
4. Whatever you want to express.[/QUOTE]

-------
I might be demi-sexual - but my mind needs to be stimulated in order to be turned on. I enjoy the bantering and comfort that I shared with my partner, I fall asleep after sex- so it helps me sleep better as well

2. I know when I was inexperienced I enjoyed it a lot that my partner was dominant. As I bc more sexually aware and comfortable I balance between both ( my husband is very kinky so we role play and experiment a lot)

3. His sex drive is way higher than mine ( damn Se) but with that said, I love his touch - it tingles everytime we touch. I think my libido went down after having kids

4. My partner is the only person that I've been sexually attracted to- I've dated other people- it's odd - I was never the type to keep one virginity - but I was simply never turned on- until i met my istp- especially the first 6 months - chemistry is off the roof


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Discussion Starter #8
My experience with ENFPs in this department of things--not that it's representative--in fact, considering the material, I'd be highly shocked if it were representative--is most intriguing and almost unplumbable--dark and mysterious I mean, not that it would be beyond the abilities of, um, a competent plumber. While INFJs aren't exactly sex maniacs, I've found that, comparatively, there is an unexpected and delightful sex delicacy [hence perhaps the above "crickets"] in "my" ENFPs--lots of arbitrary beating around the bush and blushing--which I think is awfully sweet--before they get to the point I knew they were driving at an hour ago (of course I play along [blinks innocently]). And then it's a mingling of souls more than of bodies, an abstract consummation of spirit, for me a partnership of Fe and Se brought to their ultimate manifestation and power. Mm-mm-mmm. Whatever's going on with y'all, it's a different ball game than I find in others, and a wonderful one.

Of course, research is continuing. [sighs] The things I have to do in the name of Science.
Okay, this is an outside perspective from an ENFP connoisseur, if you will (Odinthor-- mind if I call you a connoisseur-- I think it's hilarious that I'm calling you out on that, but it's awesome), that we need that we may not be able to get otherwise. It's not like I can compare myself with other girls in bed.
Plus this was the source of the original question. Yin-Yang with judgers and specifically INFJ. Not that I'll ever know. @Alassea I also want a very long sex life with my husband.

Delicacy? I wouldn't have called it that. They were being quite frank, weren't they, really? Fantastic perspective-- not one I would have figured.
Blushing.... What? You too! All you other ENFPs too!?! Oh my gosh, the stories I could tell about blushing... got me in trouble last week at work even now...
Odinthor, WHAT'S the difference going on with us in your opinion? I mean, I hear we've got higher libidos (I do as embarrassingly confessed ^).... can you tell us more?
 

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Okay, this is an outside perspective from an ENFP connoisseur, if you will (Odinthor-- mind if I call you a connoisseur-- I think it's hilarious that I'm calling you out on that, but it's awesome), that we need that we may not be able to get otherwise. It's not like I can compare myself with other girls in bed.
Connoisseur will do nicely, thank you. I do know the finer things in life; and ENFPs are among 'em.

"Other girls" and, um, heh--well, never mind that right now.

Plus this was the source of the original question. Yin-Yang with judgers and specifically INFJ. Not that I'll ever know. @Alassea I also want a very long sex life with my husband.

Delicacy? I wouldn't have called it that. They were being quite frank, weren't they, really? Fantastic perspective-- not one I would have figured.
Frank? They dance around it like the summer cotillion. I used to think, "Time's a-wastin', sweetheart..." Now I enjoy the quadrilles.

Blushing.... What? You too! All you other ENFPs too!?! Oh my gosh, the stories I could tell about blushing... got me in trouble last week at work even now...
It's absolutely darlin'.

Odinthor, WHAT'S the difference going on with us in your opinion? I mean, I hear we've got higher libidos (I do as embarrassingly confessed ^).... can you tell us more?
Well, I can't kiss and tell. My vows, remember...



And remember I said it was dark and mysterious, and needed a plumber.



About all I can say is that my impression is that, while ENFPs continue to want to keep doors open and want to explore what every room, every closet, contains, y'all are nevertheless in a sort of awe of the richness that is out there, and assimilate it in a spiritual, abstract way (rather than construing it via what physicality supplies). While INFJs are not much in awe of anything (like, the way way out there is our daily bread and butter), it's this spiritual and abstract underpinning that is so attractive to us (at least, inasfar as all INFJs are like me, which they aren't).
 

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Well **crickets** shouldn't have anything to do with it...
Well, I was either sleep or it just takes me a long time to check the forums instead of subscriptions.

1. What do you think your psyche and body is after with sex? What do you want?
Uuuh, how much can I really say if we're not in the sex forum? Not that I ever see Admins lurking. I'll try and keep this all pg... Hah, I have no idea what pg is.

I dunno, really, I guess I'm just looking for an outlet? I have to say though my one night stands all make me cringe and I try to pretend it didn't happen... Not because they were all mistakes (well some were) but because... They were pretty bad. So I'm sure there's a level of intimacy that makes it that much better... And mostly you just know your partner's body better than you do a friend of a friend's sister...


2. Do you think dominance/submission has to do with how you are turned on?
Yeah. I love being dominant... But my partner is insecure about that... So I'll take on both roles. Hah, yeah, did anyone assume I was a top? Anyone...?

When I was with my ex I loved the tease. I'd explore her body until she was squirming and I was aching. Having that level of control over her body was all the foreplay I needed.

When I first got with my partner he told me his previous male partners he'd bottom but maybe he was bragging about having more experience than he'd actually had because when it comes down to it he's too tense... So yeah, we swapped. But if he wants to play dominant then there's no half-assing it. I need it rough, restricting, we'd use bondage sometimes. We have some pretty basic bdsm stuff (ties, whips, pinwheels, wax) but I'll be honest it'll get used a couple of times and then we'll get lazy and just stuff it at the back of the wardrobe.

In the early stages of our relationship we were playing strip poker at uni, I went to get some drinks from the fridge or something and realised the room just went to quiet stifled/embarrassed laughter. After enough bewildered looks from me they pointed out the scratches down my back, I was quietly proud but I swear after that my partner was too scared to mark me. Chicken. He talks such a big game but he's more embarrassed than he lets on.


3. Frequency... libido? That kind of stuff?
My libido is high, higher than my partner's, than any partner. Uh, actually we haven't had sex in a month, actually maybe less than that but...? Yeah... rubbing one out every other day.

4. Whatever you want to express.
I dunno... Do you guys have any kinks?

I'm not going to say all of mine... I honestly have too many fantasies that I don't think this audience will appreciate. I'll just keep those in my head.

With my previous partner I got to live out some of those kinks though like sex in public, playing with her with others around but without them knowing... Okay, so she told me off for that one, I had to quit early because it made conversation difficult... Kinda wish I could have used a remote controlled toy on her during a party. Also had a threesome with her and my current partner... Would not recommend. It's emotionally confusing and fricking awkward because I honestly don't like being the one in the middle, strangely... Felt more like I was having separate sex with two people at the same time. I block that from my memory.
 

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Discussion Starter #11 (Edited)
So... I went 2 weeks once waiting for that cute INFP husband of mine to initiate. A discussion ensued the included me saying this felt like:

And what I still can't forgive? That it was ME initiating again anyway since the whole discussion was me initiating.
I have learned to try to not care too much. I'd so much rather initiate than go without.

Follow up question: Your ideal frequency
Every day and then 2-3 times/day on weekends might work.
So.... do you know how hard it is to find information on this same kind of thing going on for other women? I searched on the internet for YEARS... only recently have things turned up about it saying "It's taboo... but there's girls who want more from their husbands." So (swear word here). You know what? As long as this need is getting met it's one of the most awesome things about me. Who wouldn't want to feel like I do with my husband? IS this freaky? (Think of some swear words that I don't think of please to put here.) But I want it with my husband.
And I love you all and I love myself too--- the world can revolve to my standards (swear words here). >< Do you agree? I may need some support on this one. It just is. It's what I do with it, I guess, that is the important thing.... oh dang, is that like a Harry Potter quote? My first Harry Potter quote? I've been so good!
 

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Follow up question: Your ideal frequency
Hah, I don't even know.. I think the more interesting things get in the bedroom the more I'll want sex... right now I'd just settle for once a week, really... Mn...
 
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So... I went 2 weeks once waiting for that cute INFP husband of mine to initiate. A discussion ensued the included me saying this felt like:

And what I still can't forgive? That it was ME initiating again anyway since the whole discussion was me initiating.
I have learned to try to not care too much. I'd so much rather initiate than go without.

Follow up question: Your ideal frequency
Every day and then 2-3 times/day on weekends might work.
So.... do you know how hard it is to find information on this same kind of thing going on for other women? I searched on the internet for YEARS... only recently have things turned up about it saying "It's taboo... but there's girls who want more from their husbands." So (swear word here). You know what? As long as this need is getting met it's one of the most awesome things about me. Who wouldn't want to feel like I do with my husband? IS this freaky? (Think of some swear words that I don't think of please to put here.) But I want it with my husband.
And I love you all and I love myself too--- the world can revolve to my standards (swear words here). >< Do you agree? I may need some support on this one. It just is. It's what I do with it, I guess, that is the important thing.... oh dang, is that like a Harry Potter quote? My first Harry Potter quote? I've been so good!
I've always thought women had higher sex drive - cause men don't last as long

Before kids i was much more sexually active- perhaps 4-5 times a week.
Nowadays it's like twice a week ( I have 2 babies 2 and 1 ) I feel kinda guilty saying this but I enjoy cuddling with them more and would sometimes pretend to be asleep to avoid sex- I do enjoy making love but it's a lot of work ( maybe my sex drive will get better once my kids ages ? I hope- you can give me better insight)
Ideal frequency? I get mine whenever I want at any place or location ( my partner is very sexual and kinky ) I guess right now twice a week is good. My needs are met- my istp nicknamed our son "cockblocker"
We do have date nights twice a month though * my mom or in laws would care for the kids for the night * on those night we would have sex 2-3 times .

My husband and I work opposite schedule - so I usually stay up late pass midnight to talk to him ( who say istp are quiet- my partner and I have been conversing for 2-6 hours a night for the last 12 years)

*sometimes we would write out our sexual fantasy and have it played out ( do any of you folks do that?)

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I was out of town this weekend.


1. What do you think your psyche and body is after with sex? What do you want?
Sex. Intimacy. Closeness. Dat sexeh INTJ husband o' mine.

2. Do you think dominance/submission has to do with how you are turned on?
It can, but not always.

3. Frequency... libido? That kind of stuff? Edit question: What's your ideal amount of frequency?
Bit of lethargy (possibly winter related) but it's still pretty high. I think ideally it would probably be 3-4 times a week, since it seems like the quality of it improves with a day or two break in between.

4. Whatever you want to express.
Off-topic, but I love slipping innuendos into conversation with him. They always catch him off-guard and make him blush. Or just giving him a look whenever he says something that could somehow be construed sexually. "That's not what I meant!" he'll say. Sure it wasn't.
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
 

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Where were all you girls when I was scouring the sex and relationship threads and it made it seem like men were over the top horny whilst the women who commented said they were only interested in doing it "once a month". I never thought sexual activity could be related to type but, huh, maybe?

Also, damn, people in long term relationships keeping the activity up.
 

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I feel like I viewed something I shouldn't have. Sorry guys.
Am I even allowed to post in here?
I'm still a virgin though.
 

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I feel like I viewed something I shouldn't have. Sorry guys.
Am I even allowed to post in here?
I'm still a virgin though.
Course - join ! Post anything. I feel like I'm the least sexually active person on here - so having you on would be great

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Where were all you girls when I was scouring the sex and relationship threads and it made it seem like men were over the top horny whilst the women who commented said they were only interested in doing it "once a month". I never thought sexual activity could be related to type but, huh, maybe?
I've actually heard a fair bit from ENFP women that they have high sex drive. I've definitely noticed it in a couple of female ENFP friends too.

I think my sex drive is just decent.. I have turned down more opportunities than I've taken, but I don't think it counts when you're just not attracted to someone lol- though maybe the fact that I'm a guy and I don't take every opportunity available seems to downgrade me already (when single that is). I haven't dated anyone longer than a few months, and I've mostly had strong chemistry with the girls I've dated / had flings with, so it's hard to say how I'd adjust once I got really familiar in a relationship. Like, I mean, obviously having a high sex drive was basically a non-issue, when you have all these puppy-love chemicals whirling around and it's all still fresh and fun, but I don't really know how much of that was down to new-ness, and how much that would translate to a long-term relationship.
 

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I feel like I viewed something I shouldn't have. Sorry guys.
Am I even allowed to post in here?
I'm still a virgin though.
Sorry, have we ruined your innocence? ;) Hah! and you were talking about seducing me, I don't think you are at all that innocent!

Course - join ! Post anything. I feel like I'm the least sexually active person on here - so having you on would be great

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Y-yeah, sure you are... :unsure:
 
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I've actually heard a fair bit from ENFP women that they have high sex drive. I've definitely noticed it in a couple of female ENFP friends too.

I think my sex drive is just decent.. I have turned down more opportunities than I've taken, but I don't think it counts when you're just not attracted to someone lol- though maybe the fact that I'm a guy and I don't take every opportunity available seems to downgrade me already (when single that is). I haven't dated anyone longer than a few months, and I've mostly had strong chemistry with the girls I've dated / had flings with, so it's hard to say how I'd adjust once I got really familiar in a relationship. Like, I mean, obviously having a high sex drive was basically a non-issue, when you have all these puppy-love chemicals whirling around and it's all still fresh and fun, but I don't really know how much of that was down to new-ness, and how much that would translate to a long-term relationship.
Hah, no being able to turn someone down is still something... that brief moment when I was single I wasn't exactly picky about who it was which I should've been maybe... At least I never turned down an offer but had people turn me down a couple of times. Wait-- you got offers? Haha, now I think about it I never waited long enough to be offered.

And there's a lot of factors that would change how good your sex drive is for a long term relationship... depends on the person, the stress, etc.
 
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