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To an extent, yes.
Typically, if you can get a 3 to relax sufficiently, they reveal more of their innards, and it's easier to type them.
3s are just (*genuinely, haha) natural deceivers; I don't mean this in an immoral way.
They're profoundly cognizant, on a somewhat subconscious level, of power dynamics & how they're seen.
So they readjust themselves (in terms of demeanor/expression) to fit what they assume society-at-large, or even their conversational partner,
deems appropriate, valuable, meritable, or praiseworthy.
Other 3s, myself included, can't really help but to do this on a continual basis.
If there is an audience, they will act for the audience.
The reason it's so seamless is because it's a form of subconscious self-deception.
So, you can almost guarantee that if a 3 is talking to you, they are attempting to meet your standards (existent or nonexistent, real or imagined)-- not exactly "being themselves".
Either that, or society's standards in a broader sense.


Again, striking similarity.
I'm also very heartfelt & spiritual; however, the effects of that sentimentality will be shrugged off (for better or worse),
if it's not going to uphold my self-image. I need to assess or "check-up" Fi... on my own.
Discuss w/others about it? Allow it to effect me in front of friends or coworkers? Never.
When I do speak of my issues it's with a distant/vague touch... as though it occurred years ago, even if it was only yesterday.

A close INTJ-5(!) friend once, kindly, touched on/inquired about my emotional state during a particularly challenging week...
I refused to reveal much. Internal dialogue: "He detests these discussions... what will he think of me?
What'll be said to others, behind my back, about this situation... ?"
It felt shameful, to say the least, because I "need" to have this perfect, polished, indestructable image.
Admitting to feeling depressed or anxious would've seemed like an enormous failure on my part.
Being held in high regard is a vice for 3s, and it's commonplace for them to push sensitivity off the table in order to maintain themselves.
This is really stunningly helpful. Last talk like this... and me feeling like I kept extending olive branches of safety like “Mom we love each other so we can work through anything, we can talk about our emotions.” I think she said something like “Youre going to say things about me to your sisters, aren’t you?” And I said “Mom, like what?” Mostly we do talk about how unhappy or how self-loathing my mom is and we talk about it with compassion. We want her actually happy. So we grew up with her... we know her at her worst... there’s nothing she could DO or create that is more important to us than her own happiness to us. And to me seeing the truth about a person and accepting them has always been a place for healing... so I try to offer that to my mom and have since I was young. Basically... let your hair down and know that you are loved exactly how you are even on bad days... but when she gets mad at me she often talks about how I just keep challenging her. I guess an invitation to let your hair down and have faults could be seen as a challenge for an unhealthy 3? And for sure she is not healthy.... and yes she accomplished amazing things that are appreciated with awe by me...but those are “things”. What I want is to be close to my mother and for her to let me in and nothing she will ever do or accomplish is going to fill the hole of me wanting that. True... our very best times are when she is relaxed. For sure... thats also when her ENFP wisdom and philosophy comes out. Wow I’m learning so much here about my mom and why I am a particularly difficult child for her.

In case you ever have a “truth seeking” child ever, Eugenia, maybe hearing my side helps and I love hearing your side! Thank you so much!

I think Beatrice Chestnut said once about a 3 that no matter how outwardly amazing they were they couldn’t figure out why their husband loved them and finally he said one day “Just because you are mine. You are my wife.” And that sense of just understanding that she belonged somehow worked and she was able to start feeling his love more.
 
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This is really stunningly helpful. Last talk like this... and me feeling like I kept extending olive branches of safety like “Mom we love each other so we can work through anything, we can talk about our emotions.” I think she said something like “Youre going to say things about me to your sisters, aren’t you?” And I said “Mom, like what?” Mostly we do talk about how unhappy or how self-loathing my mom is and we talk about it with compassion. We want her actually happy. So we grew up with her... we know her at her worst... there’s nothing she could DO or create that is more important to us than her own happiness to us. And to me seeing the truth about a person and accepting them has always been a place for healing... so I try to offer that to my mom and have since I was young. Basically... let your hair down and know that you are loved exactly how you are even on bad days... but when she gets mad at me she often talks about how I just keep challenging her. I guess an invitation to let your hair down and have faults could be seen as a challenge for an unhealthy 3? And for sure she is not healthy.... and yes she accomplished amazing things that are appreciated with awe by me...but those are “things”. What I want is to be close to my mother and for her to let me in and nothing she will ever do or accomplish is going to fill the hole of me wanting that. True... our very best times are when she is relaxed. For sure... thats also when her ENFP wisdom and philosophy comes out. Wow I’m learning so much here about my mom and why I am a particularly difficult child for her.

In case you ever have a “truth seeking” child ever, Eugenia, maybe hearing my side helps and I love hearing your side! Thank you so much!

I think Beatrice Chestnut said once about a 3 that no matter how outwardly amazing they were they couldn’t figure out why their husband loved them and finally he said one day “Just because you are mine. You are my wife.” And that sense of just understanding that she belonged somehow worked and she was able to start feeling his love more.
Indeed... and, it's so sweet of you to procure a nonjudgemental space for her like that.
Some of us appreciate it more than we let on.
Not many even seem to like 3s, on the surface, because of the apparent self-involvement,
but the place-of-origin is typically self-reassurance, e.g. "Am I doing the 'right' thing; is this approved? Is this useful?"...
not to harm, degrade, or misle others.
I do enjoy hearing your perspective... what a curious, rare, & foreign concept, being loved for just existing.
Beautiful, and thank you for sharing. <3
 
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Thank you @eugenia! You’re awesome!
 
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