[viva]

I was wondering if anyone else here has dealt with this same situation. My mother and I have always had a tumultuous, distant relationship, full of conflict. I just had her take the test, and she's an ESFJ.

It totally explains why she is obsessed with being in control, into the traditional honor/respect of parental figures with no rule-breaking or questioning, total orderliness/cleanliness, etc. - all things I have, needless to say, gone against.

 

[RobinsonCrusoe]

Oh yes. I understand you completely.

My dad is an ESTJ who rules with an iron fist, takes no BS from anybody, and still works 20-hour days. My mom is an ISFJ who just gets depressed and emotional whenever I do something considered "unorthodox." when they get together, they often like to play a game called, "whose turn is it to pester the hell out of Robinson?"

dealing with 2 SJs growing up was not pleasant or fun.

all i can say is, I'm 24 now and about to move out, just as soon as I hear back from the companies I interviewed with. I had some pretty big fights with them growing up. Usually about my future and how I couldn't make up my damn mind about anything. I tell them I need space from them to explore my talents and find out what I was born to do. They look at me like I'm 5 years old and as if I had just stuck a finger up my butt and licked it clean.

It was hard, but I eventually learned that I can't expect to get any emotional support from them for the things I want to do in life. And I can't make any of the rules living at home under their roof.

So I've made financial independence a top priority of mine this past year and have been working night and day to find jobs...without telling my parents. I often felt like a POW digging his way out of his cell every night while his jailers suspected nothing. If you've found a way to reconcile SJ parents with NF children, I'd love to hear it. Personally, I think the Jews and Palestinians will establish ever-lasting peace long before my parents and I see eye-to-eye.

 

[Oceanwave]

Oh yes. I understand you completely.

My dad is an ESTJ who rules with an iron fist, takes no BS from anybody, and still works 20-hour days. My mom is an ISFJ who just gets depressed and emotional whenever I do something considered "unorthodox." when they get together, they often like to play a game called, "whose turn is it to pester the hell out of Robinson?"

dealing with 2 SJs growing up was not pleasant or fun.

all i can say is, I'm 24 now and about to move out, just as soon as I hear back from the companies I interviewed with. I had some pretty big fights with them growing up. Usually about my future and how I couldn't make up my damn mind about anything. I tell them I need space from them to explore my talents and find out what I was born to do. They look at me like I'm 5 years old and as if I had just stuck a finger up my butt and licked it clean.

It was hard, but I eventually learned that I can't expect to get any emotional support from them for the things I want to do in life. And I can't make any of the rules living at home under their roof.

So I've made financial independence a top priority of mine this past year and have been working night and day to find jobs...without telling my parents. I often felt like a POW digging his way out of his cell every night while his jailers suspected nothing. If you've found a way to reconcile SJ parents with NF children, I'd love to hear it. Personally, I think the Jews and Palestinians will establish ever-lasting peace long before my parents and I see eye-to-eye.

RobinsonCrusoe how did things turn out four years on?

 

[Mimic octopus]

In a healthy relationship there should be some give and take. I find this weird because ENFPs and ESFJs seem to be some of the most friendliest and open types.

And this is off topic but sometimes I confuse these two types, because they are both EXFXs with Si and Ne, does anyone know how to tell them apart (theoretically I know the differences, but how about some specific nuances?)