Personality Cafe banner

ENFPs: with which types have you had most conflict and lack of understanding?

  • INFJ

    Votes: 3 4.1%
  • INFP

    Votes: 1 1.4%
  • ENFJ

    Votes: 6 8.1%
  • ENFP

    Votes: 1 1.4%
  • INTJ

    Votes: 6 8.1%
  • INTP

    Votes: 4 5.4%
  • ENTJ

    Votes: 7 9.5%
  • ENTP

    Votes: 1 1.4%
  • ISFJ

    Votes: 9 12.2%
  • ISFP

    Votes: 3 4.1%
  • ESFJ

    Votes: 20 27.0%
  • ESFP

    Votes: 2 2.7%
  • ISTJ

    Votes: 18 24.3%
  • ISTP

    Votes: 15 20.3%
  • ESTJ

    Votes: 30 40.5%
  • ESTP

    Votes: 12 16.2%
  • I'm not an ENFP but wanted to vote!

    Votes: 15 20.3%
1 - 18 of 18 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,961 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
This is a multiple choice poll so you can select several types.

if you could briefly describe the cause and nature of your misunderstandings with these types that would be great :)
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,170 Posts
ISTJ. Constant pulling on different ends of the rope. ENFP killers..:laughing:
 

·
World's biggest INTJ fangirl
Joined
·
2,314 Posts
Not necessarily a lack of understanding (since once I figure out their types I'll play into their dominant functions to try and bridge the gap) it's more of a case of 'harder to find common ground with'.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,060 Posts
ESTJ!

My mom's an ESTJ, and she's a wonderful, caring person... BUT SHE'S WAY TOO JUDGMENTAL ABOUT EVERYTHING!!

Weed? Terrible for you (even though it's been shown to be significantly less harmful than tobacco). She will not change her mind in spite of the evidence. She even thinks you can OD on it. While theoretically and medically possible, it's pretty difficult (read: basically impossible) for anyone to consume near enough. She doesn't have to like the stuff (she's not a fan of alcohol or tobacco, and I can understand why), but it annoys me that she's almost willfully ignorant of it while still holding a very strong opinion. It's even worse since she's a nurse.

The Chinese are apparently still Communists. Well, by name, I guess, but in reality, they're probably more capitalistic than the US. She also didn't trust some of the agencies I was going through simply because they were based out of China. To me, it's all incredibly racist.

One time when we discussed politics, I mentioned that a test I took scored me as being quite liberal and quite libertarian. She said I'd "come around" when I got "shit on" for working hard, etc. To me, that indicates quite the opposite approach: i.e., Things can only get better if you change them.

There are times when I can discuss things in which I have expertise in (read: motherfucking degrees), and she'll give her two cents and contradict my points without a shred of evidence or theory to support what she's saying.

Again, I love her to death. She'd give me the shirt off her back. She's supported me through a ton of hard times and has overall been extremely supportive of whatever I decide to do. BUT DISCUSSING THINGS WITH HER IS LIKE TALKING TO A WALL SOMETIMES.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,492 Posts
I voted ESTJ, ESTP, and ISFJ. These types keep coming back into my life and make everything unbelievably difficult. ESTJs seem to think I'm an idiot that they can fix and thus get on my back until I'm "fixed" or I just run away. It's infuriating. ESTPs have a habit of picking on me for no reason (thankfully, this hasn't happened for a while but I've had enough run-ins to avoid this type when it's unhealthy). My mother is an ISFJ and she, like the ESTJs, thinks I'm broken and need fixing. Only her version of fixing involves taking everything that makes me who I am and telling me it's wrong. Ugh.

Wow that was kind of mean spirited. I have had good experiences with those 3 types, I'm going off of the most common ones.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,961 Posts
Discussion Starter #7
Not necessarily a lack of understanding (since once I figure out their types I'll play into their dominant functions to try and bridge the gap) it's more of a case of 'harder to find common ground with'.
which types does that apply to from ENFP point of view?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
81 Posts
My father is an ESTJ.
Very verbally abusive, critical. No empathy whatsoever. Does not care what kind of consequences his words will leave on the person he is criticizing. Being a Russian guy his language is very very harsh and rude. They can build sentences without ever using any normal words, just swearwords and curses.

But as someone mentioned before, he will give his last shirt to me, if it comes to that. Good guy to his friends etc. But growing up with him was hell. And seeing ESTJ as a leader in this poll makes me think how lucky I was to have a father of this pers. type lol
His goal in life was to support us in material way so that we would have everything we needed, but the emotional side of our family relationship was completely neglected. So, knowing how much he has been trough to make our lives easier, to me, being an ENFP has very little value compared to the emotional scars he has left.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Le Beau Coeur

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,961 Posts
Discussion Starter #9
Not necessarily a lack of understanding (since once I figure out their types I'll play into their dominant functions to try and bridge the gap) it's more of a case of 'harder to find common ground with'.
Have you never experienced times when you say A and the person hears B and it's not an issue of commonality of personal values or having common ground? It's them misinterpreting much of what you say?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
825 Posts
Sensors, mostly. They process things differently than I do. I have a hard time communicating with them. Sometimes I have a really hard time feeling "connected" to them.

Disclaimer: Not being biased toward Sensors, but I may not have developed my sensing side enough to relate to them well.

I think my most conflict is with xSTP. I've had trouble with an ESFP, too.

The exception is my ESTJ boyfriend, though.

ESFJ - Mother and cousin. I love them to death, but they seem to have slightly different values (more strict perceptions of things) than me. We're not super close, but we're close. :)

ESTJ - Boyfriend and brother. My boyfriend gets me for the most part. I only feel a disconnect sometimes when I'm craving philosophical and emotional stimulation. My brother is the "token child" in my family who my mom loves. He's a good kid, I trust that he's got his head in the right places. We're just not close because we don't have much to talk about.

ESFP - Girl and guy. It bothers me that they tend to only talk about themselves. I just really don't like that. They're knowledgeable with practical things and seem to be overly obsessed with lavishing themselves (nice cars, expensive clothes, etc) -- all of which aren't a bad thing. I'm just not interested in most of the things they talk about. They're nice people, but my ideals and ideas don't match well with them. They seem uninterested in me too.

ESTP - Girl friend and guy friend. The girl I'm usually in good terms with, but she does get very pushy with her opinions. Actually, we don't have anything bad in our friendship; I seem to get her pretty well and her heart is in the right place. A lot of other girls don't seem to like her, though. As for the guy, I feel like when I talk to him, he's never truly listening to my conversation. It always seems like he's trying to find a way to prove something I said wrong or assert a point to prove himself right. I don't like that at all. He's surprising and intelligent, but I hate feeling like I'm not being listened to.

ISFP - Guy friend and girl friend. I don't get them, but they're great friends. They're very quiet and seem a little "slow" to me (not a bad thing, because I personally think I think too quickly), but as much as I can't understand them, I really do adore them as friends and know they're loyal to the core. I just take them for who they are as long as it takes for them to warm up to you. :)

ISTP - Two girls. I can't read them at all. It's like they're on a whole different planet and I can't figure them out. It's kind of scary how I can't understand them. I'm not really sure how to explain it either. I just can't seem to find a connection. :/

I mostly get Intuitives, but when they start to get pushing their ideas on to me or attacking my character (xNTJs), I eventually have to take a break from them. I'm not sure if I've met an ENTP yet, but I'm not one for debating, so I might not be able to keep up. xD
 

·
World's biggest INTJ fangirl
Joined
·
2,314 Posts
which types does that apply to from ENFP point of view?
Sorry, I just realised I haven't replied to this. I find xSTJs seem to be the most difficult to find that common ground with - in the sense that I have to bend more to meet them. I get exhausted pretty quickly having to reverse my own functions in order to accommodate for them.

Have you never experienced times when you say A and the person hears B and it's not an issue of commonality of personal values or having common ground? It's them misinterpreting much of what you say?
I'm sure it has happened many many times, no particular event really sticks out in my mind however.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
292 Posts
I voted ESTJ too, as said before they are very judgemental, when we say some funny and unrelated things ( thanks to our Ne ) they think that we are crazy In a bad way, they are also very in our face with their *values* : oh you should do this, you should go to the church more often ... And, finally they tend to bully people, making fun of their friends. It s fine for thinker type but I don't like having to joke/fight back when I m with my friends because they tease me too much. I m fine with all the other types. And actually some of my friends are ESTJ too, they are reliable and much less judgmental when they are more mature.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
9,800 Posts
ESFJ, ISFJ, the most. I don't understand their view of the world, trust me I've tried. We are like two lost souls in conversation. They don't understand a single word I say. Usually ends up in misunderstandings....ESTP sometimes, although we have a weird attraction or interest in one another. They get under my skin, and I'm sure they would say the same about me. ESTP often think they know me better than I know myself, it drives me crazy. They are generally WAY off.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,360 Posts
With me. I don't have a fixed type though... ISTJs are actually easy for me to understand a bit but its kinda hard to help them... or explain your thoughts to them.

Conflict: INFJ, ISTP... though its normally playful.

Lack of understanding: I really don't understand at times my ISFJ mother...(To all ISFJ's she is unhealthy this is not how I think all of you or any of you are.)... I can understand her so well but then its like she gets exaggerated and its horrible what she comes up with... she makes the world into a war zone and her house as her bubble protecting her. Her only hope being when she enter heaven. Shes a true hermit... liking people but scared of them effecting her... Scared of people... of the highway... extremely overprotective and likes to highlight all your flaws to scare you into doing anything... She doesn't think I can drive because I wear glasses...She thinks I will loose a house key because of her thoughts on me being ditsy. She is insanely scared of groups of people and one source of information effects her... She looked on the news and for weeks she thought people with Asphergers syndrome are natural murders that a certain religious group would try to kill Catholics once they met them... I will never understand her completely never. She reminds me of mother Gothel from Tangled only shes not selfish.

But I love her very much and I know she loves me. It just she feels a little twisted at times...
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
1,273 Posts
lmao ESTJ not surprised even sensors have conflict with them, so it's not exclusively a intuitive issue, it's worldwide. :tongue:
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
128 Posts
Haha the Two ESTJs I know, we spent months and montthhhhhhhssssss trying to change eachothers mind and get us to see eachothers point of view. When we finally learnt to agree to disagree. It kinda became a joke. And now we just talk about there point A TO B attitude and my wondering mind and how useless the other is. After we kinda understood that really we are both very happy with the way we are we were fine.


But I struggle have deep convos with them... It's mostly just joking. So out of them all ESTJ with ISTJ closely following.
 
1 - 18 of 18 Posts
Top