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Hello everyone, hopefully someone here can help me figure this out. :] (I'm sorry for the length) :c

I'm either ENFP or INFP according to Myers-Briggs (I'm having a hard time distinguishing because I am very shy, and tend to act very extraverted around good friends, but to everyone else I'm an awkward person..and I typically don't like most people because I feel like they are ingenuine), and I'm trying to figure out my type in Enneagram. For the longest time, I believed I was a 2, equating my self-worth with how others respond to me. I do tend to do that, but...I just don't feel like I'm so freely giving all the time. I do sometimes do favors for people, hoping they'll consider me as indispensable, but 2 doesn't seem to fit me quite right sometimes. 2's project into the future, do they not? My problem is, I live in the past. I tend to compare everything to the past, especially relationships. I compare my current partner with my past one, and see that it isn't the same. My new relationship isn't sentimental like the last one..and this deprives me of a sense of value in a way. My memories from that past relationship are so strong and unforgettable because of all the sentimentality that was attached to it, but my current one feels so ordinary. It doesn't make me feel special...and I'm afraid I'll never feel so sentimental about life or love as I used to, some two or three years ago.

Don't get me wrong, I am very good at predicting outcomes of actions, and tend to play through scenarios in my mind, and in that way, I do look ahead and regard the future, but I base everything that I am on the past.

Furthermore, I feel enlivened when I feel like I have a purpose...whether it's planting a garden or helping a friend. I don't know. I like helping people, but...not enough to where I feel like I define myself through it.(?) Hehe. Any ideas? :D

Wow..explaining this has made me feel even more like a 4 because I realize I'm so convinced with being genuine..hmm. Well, either way, I've read lots of comparisons between INFP and ENFP already, but it still isn't clear to me. I can't stand being alone for long periods of time...and I need someone to depend on. Otherwise, I feel lost. But I do like being alone for awhile..and I like having one-on-one time with people rather than being in big groups. I'm not comfortable at parties, though I do like interacting with people once I feel comfortable. I can be very silly and animated when I feel comfortable and happy. I can become a bounding bundle of hyper, commenting on how wonderful every little blade of grass is. But I normally feel so alone. Haha. I dunno.

I've read that E/I is determined by where you get your energy. I feel great after having meaningful conversations with people...but I also can be enlivened by my own ideas. I usually test ~50/50 : E/I. Hmm..

Any thoughts or ideas would be so helpful! :D Thanks.
 

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Nobody here to help?
Unfortunately i can't either. I have a similar problem, don't know if I'm a 2 or 4. MBTI says I'm infp though. Although it may seem pretty interesting to find out, I've concluded that not completely fitting or not finding your type isn't a big deal. I doubt the validity of the enneagram and would encourage you not to find your self worth in it as i have tried. I do think it's an interesting tool to help understand ourselves a bit better, but don't stress over it. It seems as though you have a clear idea as to what your motivations are and that's more important than typing yourself.
 
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