Personality Cafe banner

1 - 20 of 40 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,962 Posts
I don't think I care what other people think. When it comes to what I value, what's important to me, how I live my life, etc. I care what other people think in the sense that I don't want to hurt their feelings, or I want to share ideas and encourage and motivate them, or comfort them and help them work through something, or maybe what they think is new and different and exciting to me, etc etc etc. But if it's caring what other people think in terms of superficial judgment, then I really could give a fuck. It might hurt my feelings if I think they are misunderstanding me, or misjudging me... if they are accurately and truthfully judging me, enlightening me in someway that I previously couldn't see... that might hurt too but I'd appreciate it very much.

You get the idea. Not sure how much that has to do with being a 4. I haven't spent much time with enneagram stuff.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
138 Posts
For 2s, 3s and 4s the tendency to care what others think is about mirroring...the image types didn't get adequate mirroring in childhood, and so others are looked to for some sort of mirroring. Who one is inside and how one is perceived outside become intertwined.

I can see those image concerns in myself. It's not that I care what people think in the"keep up with the joneses" sense of caring what other people think, but there is that connection between self-image and how the world perceives me. This is essential to type four and is where the hypersensitivity fours exhibit comes from. Fours' defense mechanism is introjection so negative appraisals of the self get introjected, especially since fours already have a self-image that revolves around what's lacking in themselves, and so on the one hand there's the defensive reaction externally of "you don't understand me" while internally, there's shame stemming from the belief that the negative appraisal is true.

As far as *why* I'm that way...well, I'd need to spend the evening with you and a large amount of booze to explain it to you. Or, maybe, just half an hour with my mother :tongue:
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,329 Posts
I don't; However, I'm a cheater. Intuition dominate 3's are an extremely rare species. As well as me being a triple aggressive, and me being the but end of the spectrum. Much like the Counterphobic 6 I am a, and I hate this term, Countershame 3. I'll probably start calling it CounterImage.

"
'Countershame' 3s on the alpha end of the alpha/beta scale of 3ness (triple assertive trifix) are notably shameless, as both a reaction to deeper (nonconscious) shame and due to having two genuinely unshameable fixes."

This very much fits the ENTP, because the ENTP is apart of the alpha section in socionic's universe. This mean's unlike other 3's I am more likely to care more about my own knowledge than say my biceps. My own abilities over my appearance. It means I have the ability to take pretty much anything as a compliment, but not everything, and have more of a 'uncaring' compoture to the part of society who don't like me. It basically means I don't mind being hated.

Also as an ENTP that conflicts with the 3's natural S-ness make me more of an Enigma. I know I am a P. I procrastinate, and that goes against 3's need to get things done, but I also plan for the future. I am future orientated which collides with the 3's natural present presences, but I am aware of the present. [It's why I always say. "I spend a majority of my time in the future, but sometimes in the present, rarely in the past."] 3's have a need to please people. ENTP's have a need to Conflict. My Trifix has a need to conflict. I am trapped in a fraction 1/3 vs 2/3. It is why I am seen as the evilest, and nicest of the ENTPs on this site. ETC, ETC. Need to move on before I write a whole page about the Ne Dominate Countershame 3's.

ENTP traits that override the 3 traits due to intuition are my creativity, my procrastination, my unstructured lifestyle, and my conflicting nature.

Not everything is conflicting though? Both the 3 and the ENTP have a need to push the limits and become the best. They're both the challengers raising above and going to the call, which also makes both competitive. They're both ego centric. Some of your favorite NT megalomaniac's could have been NT 3's. 3's & ENTP's are very logic, and both are extremely selfish.

I'll stop there because if I continue I'll get into Trifixes and Subwings and before long I would have written an essay on the subject. If you would like to learn more please comment here or on my profile.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,242 Posts
I don't; However, I'm a cheater. Intuition dominate 3's are an extremely rare species. As well as me being a triple aggressive, and me being the but end of the spectrum. Much like the Counterphobic 6 I am a, and I hate this term, Countershame 3. I'll probably start calling it CounterImage.

"
'Countershame' 3s on the alpha end of the alpha/beta scale of 3ness (triple assertive trifix) are notably shameless, as both a reaction to deeper (nonconscious) shame and due to having two genuinely unshameable fixes."

This very much fits the ENTP, because the ENTP is apart of the alpha section in socionic's universe. This mean's unlike other 3's I am more likely to care more about my own knowledge than say my biceps. My own abilities over my appearance. It means I have the ability to take pretty much anything as a compliment, but not everything, and have more of a 'uncaring' compoture to the part of society who don't like me. It basically means I don't mind being hated.

Also as an ENTP that conflicts with the 3's natural S-ness make me more of an Enigma. I know I am a P. I procrastinate, and that goes against 3's need to get things done, but I also plan for the future. I am future orientated which collides with the 3's natural present presences, but I am aware of the present. [It's why I always say. "I spend a majority of my time in the future, but sometimes in the present, rarely in the past."] 3's have a need to please people. ENTP's have a need to Conflict. My Trifix has a need to conflict. I am trapped in a fraction 1/3 vs 2/3. It is why I am seen as the evilest, and nicest of the ENTPs on this site. ETC, ETC. Need to move on before I write a whole page about the Ne Dominate Countershame 3's.

ENTP traits that override the 3 traits due to intuition are my creativity, my procrastination, my unstructured lifestyle, and my conflicting nature.

Not everything is conflicting though? Both the 3 and the ENTP have a need to push the limits and become the best. They're both the challengers raising above and going to the call, which also makes both competitive. They're both ego centric. Some of your favorite NT megalomaniac's could have been NT 3's. 3's & ENTP's are very logic, and both are extremely selfish.

I'll stop there because if I continue I'll get into Trifixes and Subwings and before long I would have written an essay on the subject. If you would like to learn more please comment here or on my profile.
Damn that's long. I understood none of it. xD
You took my small text idea. You're mean.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
138 Posts
I'm a 4w5 and I don't care. 4s are supposed to be a bit self-absorbed and unconventional, no?
Fours can be self-absorbed when unhealthy, and yeah, they tend to be concerned with things like individuality, having a distinct self-expression, etc which can manifest as being unconventional...but as an image type, they still want their self image mirrored back to them by others, and can feel quite invalidated and misunderstood when that does not happen. In that sense, they care what other people think, but may be less inclined to admit it than two or three.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
85 Posts
I think I've gotten over it to a certain degree, although it used to literally consume my counsciousness. Ican't speak for all of us, but me, I'm so accepting of differences I feel the only reason anyone could dislike anyone is on moral grounds. "Heart types" tend to value compassion above all else. So, if someone dislikes me, it's like they're calling me an "uncaring person", which means all my effort in life has been for nothing.

But honestly, who DOESN'T care whether or not people like them AT ALL, of any type? I'm sure very few...
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
429 Posts
I try not to care, and I wish I didn't as much as I do, but the truth is is that the thought of others seeing me in a negative light more often than not paralyzes me to the point of inaction, and unresponsiveness.

I'll end up hating the person who thinks badly of me (or who I perceive to be thinking badly of me), or I'll ignore them, or actively avoid them. I want to be seen as a good and friendly person, and because of my MBTI type, I'm often seen as cold and aloof and distant. So I strive to be seen in - if not good - then an intelligent, competent light, and if I'm seen badly...it literally breaks my soul.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
266 Posts
For 2s, 3s and 4s the tendency to care what others think is about mirroring...the image types didn't get adequate mirroring in childhood, and so others are looked to for some sort of mirroring. Who one is inside and how one is perceived outside become intertwined.

I can see those image concerns in myself. It's not that I care what people think in the"keep up with the joneses" sense of caring what other people think, but there is that connection between self-image and how the world perceives me. This is essential to type four and is where the hypersensitivity fours exhibit comes from. Fours' defense mechanism is introjection so negative appraisals of the self get introjected, especially since fours already have a self-image that revolves around what's lacking in themselves, and so on the one hand there's the defensive reaction externally of "you don't understand me" while internally, there's shame stemming from the belief that the negative appraisal is true.

As far as *why* I'm that way...well, I'd need to spend the evening with you and a large amount of booze to explain it to you. Or, maybe, just half an hour with my mother :tongue:
ok, I'm gonna go sit on my bed and cry, now.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
2,697 Posts
I'm a 4w5 and I don't care. 4s are supposed to be a bit self-absorbed and unconventional, no?
Those were my exact thoughts when I read the original post.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
226 Posts
I only care what some people think and I always try not to show it. Once people know that you care what they think, they know how to press all your buttons and you look like a grovelling idiot.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
226 Posts
Fours can be self-absorbed when unhealthy, and yeah, they tend to be concerned with things like individuality, having a distinct self-expression, etc which can manifest as being unconventional...but as an image type, they still want their self image mirrored back to them by others, and can feel quite invalidated and misunderstood when that does not happen. In that sense, they care what other people think, but may be less inclined to admit it than two or three.
This is completely true for me. I get angry when people try to make me something I'm not, but then I realize that I have no idea who I am without other people telling me. When people express an opinion about me I usually take it personally because no matter how I feel on the inside, the outside is where my influence/potential lies.
 
  • Like
Reactions: sen8012

·
Registered
Joined
·
147 Posts
I don't actually care what others think, but I find that it makes things simpler to take what they think into consideration. It can help things go faster instead of acting like a frickin' mule, fighting everyone else the whole time, which I have seen people do... It makes me so angry when people do that, especially people I know.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,610 Posts
I want to have the best of both worlds -- being unique and my truest self, while also being accepted for my differences and loved for them. I do wish to be accepted, while also being considered unusual and interesting.
 
1 - 20 of 40 Posts
Top