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MOTM Nov 2012
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What are my Enneagram 9 Instincts

I am an ENTP E9. But I do not have confidence in my instincts beyond knowing that I am not a Sx dom.

I did the E-questionnaire to give a glimpse of who I am, even though it's more about E-type than instincts. I tried to keep the sentences short and added pretty formatting so people with attention spans like mine were not entirely turned off.

1. What drives you in life? What do you look for?
  • Fun and enjoyment.
  • Meeting and getting to know new people, understanding how they work and what makes them tick.
  • Comfort.
  • To be competent and seen as knowledgeable in my professional capacity.
  • To be a source of knowledge to others when there is a need.
  • I like positive people who see the bright side of everything, do not judge or walk over others and focus on others as much as themselves.
2. What do you hope to accomplish in your life?
  • I want to experience all the dreams I have, to travel, see other cultures.
  • To create and maintain meaningful relationships with other people.
  • To be professionally successful and competent.
  • To be looked up to, admired and respected.
  • To be master of a harem.
3. What values are important to you?
  • I value the lives of others, everyone has worth.
  • I value kindness and forgiveness in others.
  • I value genuine politeness and concern for others.
  • I value a good wine.
What do you hope to avoid doing or being?
  • I want to avoid being so avoidant of reality, which is to say not avoid.
  • I do not want to be the cause of pain for another.
4. What are your biggest fears (not including phobias)? Why?
  • Vulnerability is the biggest fear.
  • When at my worst I fear being unlovable/unlikable, that those I surround myself with do not really care about me, that I have no friendships beyond surface niceties. That I don't matter.
  • I fear that my emotional defensiveness will keep people out, but I also fear letting them in as I cannot handle being vulnerable.
  • I fear losing independence or control.
5. How do you want others to see you?
  • I want to be seen as likable and friendly.
  • Someone of worth who is easy to be around and that someone who others want around.
How do you see yourself?
  • I see myself as easy going, laid back and easy to get along with.
  • I see myself as non-judgmental and accepting of everyone.
  • I see myself as someone who has shortcomings, but takes responsibility for them.
6. What makes you feel your best?
So many things in life can make me feel my best, it's relatively easy for me to be happy: To be surrounded by nature, animals, friendly people, good company, a good book, meaningful interaction with others.

What makes you feel your worst?
I feel my worst when I am worried about things that I am avoiding, when I know that they will not go away without facing them, and yet I still don't.

7. Describe how you experience each of: a) anger;
Anger causes me to retreat and avoid that person, I cannot handle it, as soon as I see uncontrolled or explosive anger in another I will lose my ability to trust them and keep my emotional distance for ever and ever amen. I have a similar issue with agression.

b) shame;
I don't have much shame, if any at all. I am who I am, and who I am is someone generally willing to try anything.

c) anxiety
I feel some anxiety when I am avoiding things that I should not be. Ignoring them does not mean they stay off my mind, it's just that I push them away whenever they appear.

8. Describe how you respond to each of: a) stress;
The right kind of stress energises me into productive action, I can accomplish more than the average person when motivated by impossible odds. Too much stress wears me out, I will still function around others at a seemingly superman level, but when alone I will crumble, sometimes needing to indulge in a glass or two of wine to turn off the stress reaction, or when able to, engage in physical activity or socialisation with the same outcome.

b) unexpected change;
Unexpected change puts me in my element.

c) conflict
When confronted with conflict I will leave if I can, I will mentally retreat if I can't. If others around me are engaged in conflict I will attempt to appease and keep the peace. I will embody Switzerland.

9. Describe your orientation to: a) authority;
I don't have an issue with others having authority over me, so long as they are competent. Positions of authority do not come with automatic respect and trust, individuals must earn them, but I will not rebel for the sake of rebelling, and I can bite my tongue and tow the line if it is in my best interests.

power
Power in others does not affect me, as it is not the same as having power over me, the only people who have power over me are those I allow, and they would only ever be those who would not abuse it, like a situation where in a relationship I give up some of my own power to show a partner vulnerability, this is tough for me to do so would only happen with someone who understood the value and reciprocated, taking care to not hurt me.

10. What is your overall outlook on life and humanity?
Positive. Even in the face of darkness I can see goodness and hope. I believe people are generally mean good and trust others unless given reason not to.

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I recon I could see Sp/So, So/Sp or So/Sx as possible types for me, I've read a bunch and things are getting clearer but in true extrovert style I appreciate input from others to help clarify my thoughts.

While the types go across all E-types I am mostly interested in how the instincts feature for Enneagram 9s as there are subtle differences that can change everything.

For relevance I tritype as 973.


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Sp: On the similarminds test I score as Sp dom followed a long way behind by So+Sx. But I don't see myself as being preoccupied with safety, health and physical wellbeing. I'm bad with money and often forget to eat. Independence and emotional distance are relevant to me though.

So: I'm an independent person, I've never really needed others. I like people, and enjoy being around them, but I do not need to interact with them, which according to one person's interpretation of instincts is listed as a So trait here. I don't fully understand the intricacies of the So instinct.

Sx: The intensity in relationships mentioned in all Sx descriptions bothers me, I am not the kind of person who would move in with a partner after 2 weeks, hell 2 years even seems speedy to me! I enjoy intense experiences but I do not see myself as having a particually warm vibe nor moving towards others. I freely admit to strugging to know how others view me though.


sp/soc: The most straightfoward in language, with relatively little trills and embellishments. Points made directly and from personal experience. Business-like. Clear. Cynical. Lacking in internal experience compared to other stackings.

soc/sp: Tangential. Lots of details and analysis. Very in-their-head and intellectual, and lacks sensuality. Comes across as level-headed and unspontaneous, but also with personal warmth. Their written works often require a great deal of mental concentration from the readers.

soc/sx: The word "fantastical" comes to mind. Lots of virtuosity and trills, and often removed from the real world. One is whirled away by the dazzling fairies of their colorful imagination. Can be too rich in imagery for their own good. Sustained dramatic power due to their knowledge of interpersonal dynamics.
Here, in written communication So/Sx rings truest. In verbal communication I'm not so sure, I can conserve energy like Sp/So.


From the Enneagram Underground site, So/Sp E9 seems most true, although So/Sx and Sp/So and not untrue.

Social/Self-pres

Social Nines feel the need for validation and for "fitting in" but they feel these indirectly. They move towards others in a way which can resemble Twos, but they are motivated by a desire to initiate and maintain contact without provoking conflict. On the high side, the social/self-pres Nine generally knows a lot of people and gets along with most everyone. They are helpful people who generally have a great sense of humor. They get involved with the social environment. They might be the soccer coach, or if politically inclined, they might join and participate in a political party. When in leadership roles, they lead by consensus and charm. Their skill is in conflict management. With the sexual instinct last, they tend to avoid intensity, but they are actively involved with people.
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A four letter answer starting with S*** is fine, but any relevant info (can be personal ditties) or links would help even more.
 

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MOTM Nov 2012
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Discussion Starter #2
Haaaaaalp!
 

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MOTM Nov 2012
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Discussion Starter #4
Thanks snooperr <3

Any others for any others??? I'm happy to bribe ya'll for responses! Gold, cookies, karma??
 

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MOTM Nov 2012
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Discussion Starter #5

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@Sonny

From how you describe yourself I'd say you are So/Sx, with a lighter Sx. There are different strengths secondary and tertiary instincts come in. I for example have a fairly strong Sx compared to my So (which is why Typewatch calls it "darkside so/sx"). I gather your so/sx is maybe midrange to lightside.

You also clearly prefer extroversion and are on the healthier side then I/different type, but imo So/Sx fits you well enough.

If you want my honest opinion..having Sp last kinda sux :p. Sp has obvious benefits , thou Sp types kinda seem more selfish.
 

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MOTM Nov 2012
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Discussion Starter #10
Sx eh, intimacy freaks the bejesus oudda me, I adore passion in others and lament when they can't show any but relationships that have an expectation of breaking down barriers and/or anything about merging scares me like nothing else, I'm not even cool with people standing too close to me. Ya'll are quite possibly right though cause I neglect pretty much all Sp needs except the independence part.

Reserving spot so I can reply later ^_^
But but


xD
 

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MOTM February 2014
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Here's an info dump from the Typewatch blog, the soc-dom variants. It's getting a lot more known that instincts can have different ranges, as @Rim mentioned. I agree with everyone who has said that your secondary instinct is fairly weak, so look into the so/sx lightside and so/sp warmside.

So/sx
the so/sx version is what I call lightside (soc as unquestioned dictator, just as in warmside so/sp), and on the other end is the darkside (soc as chairman, sx as vice chairman who sleeps with the chairman). and the midrange, that lovely muddy area in between where soc is the boss but sx at least has its own corner office.

lightsiders vs darksiders is almost like a phobic/counterphobic split in attitude. the lightside is engaging, ingratiating even, and is the closest to what has become the stereotype for so/sx. unmistakably friendly, amusing, eager to attend to others in a personal, customized way. also hesitant or unwilling to upset the delicate chemistry or harmony of individual or group dynamics, since soc cohesion is at a premium. some famous lightsiders: mister rogers, steve carrell, george foreman, ben affleck, zach braff, michael jackson, and bill clinton.

darksiders on the other hand seem eager to prove their soc isn't in full control, so they typically test the boundaries of traditional soc values. maybe knee-jerk reactions against sheepish herd behavior, group mentalities, or warmside strategies for making connections. they aren't any less healthy by definition, but can seem that way due to their darker, more confrontational manner. they use highly customized interactive tactics like all so/sx's, but in a more uncompromising "keeping it real" way, owing to the active tension between "good" soc and "bad" sx. some examples are woody harrelson, frank zappa, jack nicholson, lauryn hill, judy garland, chris rock, eminem, george carlin, andy warhol.

midrange so/sx's have a less pre-committed way of dealing with people, and therefore seem to express the mercurial qualities of the so/sx nature more than the others. I used to call it the "grey" range since it made me think of dusky unreadability, or manipulation through inscrutability. midrange so/sx's seem especially averse to being predictable, preferring the license to adapt whatever attitude the situation requires. until those conditions are clear they default to a kind of seeming indifference or nonchalance (a stark contrast to the sociably upfront quality of their cordial so/sp cousins). some examples of this pliant, laid back range of so/sx are hugh laurie, gene simmons, brad pitt, howard stern, hugh grant, shaquille o'neal, and garfield the cat.
So/sp
so/sp warmside (weak sp) - pulls from sx/so to enhance outer warmth, revving up the soc to where they can pass off as more stereotypically so/sx than many true so/sx's. not surprisingly, many supposed so/sx's are in fact so/sp's of this range. being sx last they tend to relate less through nonverbal expression and more through talking and joking around; but what they lack in subtlety they may make up for in overt conscientiousness, whereas so/sx's tend to be subtle and tactful. the populist, the humorist, the fundraiser. jay leno, arnold schwarzenegger, conan o'brien, "the rock", john mccain, ellen degeneres, george w. bush.

so/sp cordial (midrange) - the classic or 'true' so/sp, not likely to be mistaken for either so/sx nor sp/so. the most wide reaching and moderate of the ranges; friendly but not ingratiating, anchored by a larger sense of community but not at the expense of delicate alliances. more verbal than the formal range but less sociable than warmsiders; have a strong sense of fairness and equality, though an academic or careerist bent may come off as elitist. the journalist, the globalist, the egalitarian. obama, bob costas, mike wallace, al gore, hillary clinton, steve nash.

so/sp formal (strong sp) - pulls from sp/sx for a more self contained style. soc while still primary, is muted; can seem critical and more impersonal than the other ranges. a usual focus on topics, issues, and responsibilities affecting specific levels of society. usually well connected, but in informal settings may let others do most of the talking. can seem self pres at first glance. the pundit, the judge, the commentator. george will, larry king, bill maher, bill o'reilly, helen clark, jesse ventura, margaret thatcher.
 

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Ace of Spades
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But but

xD
Hey now, I was out of town for the weekend. The weather got really nice here all of the sudden.

That being said, I get So/Sp from your responses. I'm not sure where people see the Sx. You seem like a friendly, easygoing person, and you look for comfort which is an Sp tendency. Sx likes turbulence, intensity, an element of uncertainty. So/Sp seems reasonable. Have you taken a look at these descriptions yet? Also, do you need any input on tritype?

Edit: Did not see @Paradigm's post there XD
 

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MOTM Nov 2012
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Discussion Starter #13 (Edited)
Here's an info dump from the Typewatch blog, the soc-dom variants. It's getting a lot more known that instincts can have different ranges, as @Rim mentioned. I agree with everyone who has said that your secondary instinct is fairly weak, so look into the so/sx lightside and so/sp warmside.

So/sx
The lightside is engaging, ingratiating even, and is the closest to what has become the stereotype for so/sx. unmistakably friendly, amusing, eager to attend to others in a personal, customized way. also hesitant or unwilling to upset the delicate chemistry or harmony of individual or group dynamics, since soc cohesion is at a premium.

So/sp
so/sp warmside (weak sp) - pulls from sx/so to enhance outer warmth, revving up the soc to where they can pass off as more stereotypically so/sx than many true so/sx's. not surprisingly, many supposed so/sx's are in fact so/sp's of this range. being sx last they tend to relate less through nonverbal expression and more through talking and joking around; but what they lack in subtlety they may make up for in overt conscientiousness, whereas so/sx's tend to be subtle and tactful. the populist, the humorist, the fundraiser.
Can definitely see that one of them would be right for me, and explain why I feel both Sp and Sx are equally dismal. Guess it means motivations matter more than behaviour in terms of determining my secondary instinct.

And darn that as my biggest issue is all the crap that goes with being an E9 and getting a strong sense of self. I struggle to see who I am unless seen through other people's eyes and articulated back to me.


Hey now, I was out of town for the weekend. The weather got really nice here all of the sudden.

That being said, I get So/Sp from your responses. I'm not sure where people see the Sx. You seem like a friendly, easygoing person, and you look for comfort which is an Sp tendency. Sx likes turbulence, intensity, an element of uncertainty. So/Sp seems reasonable. Have you taken a look at these descriptions yet? Also, do you need any input on tritype?
Cheers. I'm yet to see the value in tritype beyond the descriptive, I relate strongly to 9 gut and 7 head but the heart triad is pretty insignificant to me, I go with 3 cause why not but overall it spreads things too thin for me. Understanding I can identify strongly with E7, just without the high energy levels may give a better picture of me than saying I'm an E9 though. Feel free to give me a different heart type if you think one is more apt.

Comfort is, comfortable. I'm not formal and neglect pretty much all of my basic needs but I do enjoy comfort. I'm in full support of hedonism. [ETA: Just realised hedonism is about excess so may not be the best support of Sp needs]

Think the things people most commonly say about me without knowing me deeply is that I'm very friendly, helpful and diplomatic. I can't help it, I want to be accepted and included, and I need to maintain peace.

I don't enjoy turbulence, I wonder what an E9 Sx would say on that though as avoiding disruption to peace is the big deal for 9s.

A passionless person is something that slays me more so than someone who violates my So values of selfishness at the expense of others. In a way I seek depth in others and adore intensity, it's just that I can't handle it for too long, so back off for a while and reassert my independence. I love getting through to people's deeper bits and having them talk about something real to them, it engages me completely. But then I don't seem to care if a quick intense interaction with someone turns into someone I say hey to and nothing more in the future. I can do the surface So thing easily.

I relate very, very strongly to the E8 values of independence and avoiding vulnerability so getting too close to someone who could jeopardise either of those things is bad, bad, bad.


If you want my honest opinion..having Sp last kinda sux :p. Sp has obvious benefits , thou Sp types kinda seem more selfish.
What are the benefits you see?
 

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Lately after denying resigning and finally accepting I am full package 9 I felt less alone. I stopped blaming myself for being:
Avoidant
Lazy
Procrastination driven
Out there at times
Very spiritual
Camelion
Physically self neglectful
Very friendly
Self less
Lovable
Loyal
Upstanding
Modest a lot
Could easily become co dependent
Not many close relationships
Fun loving
Good sense of humor
Open minded
Dad I wanted to kill
 

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@Sonny - I definitely see the Type 9 and some 7 in your description. But aside from that which you already know, I see So/Sp. I didn't see any Sx at all, really. ^^ You are definitely So. What's funny is when I took instinctual variant tests, I had very developed Sp as well. Sometimes I was told I was Sp/So, with So way back there. You just seem very balanced between So and Sp. :)
 
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