Personality Cafe banner

1 - 11 of 11 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
40 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
Hi! I enjoy writing in my free time, and I'm curious about the relationships between the different enneagram types. It would be awesome if everybody wrote down which enneagram type you are and the enneagram types of the people whom you carry on close relationship, could be friends, your couple, it doesn't matter as long as is someone close to you. (I'm really interested if anyone does know a relation between a 5 and an 8).
Then, when we've all answered, we can reach a conclusion, and it maight be helpfull to us.
What do you think?
Starting, I'm a 5w4, I have a brother (absolutely 9) and I love "spending time" with him, the thing that makes me want to kill him is that he can't make decisions on his own... An other close relationship I have is with a 9 too! But she is the most balanced person I know and she's great at making decisions. My father, on the other hand is a problem, he's a 2, and basically he made me a 5, because he overwhelmed me too much when I was a kid, that when I tasted freedom I couldn't see him again. In fact I haven't seen him in two years, I didn't let him touch me either.. I don't know why do I react so dramatically... Now I'm cautious and without thinking I tend to avoid 2, in other words I avoid opening my self and fiscal contact.
Ok, so, two 9s that are close to me, I do avoid 2, and... I don't have a boyfriend so I think we're done.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,319 Posts
Although I don't have a relationship at the moment; I can say without a shadow of a doubt that, Double Sixes are some of the most interesting, paranoid and volatile relationships i've ever seen: they can crank up the passion to 11 one day, get paranoid the second, resume passion and take it to 15 on the third; talk about marriage on fourth, only to break up at fifth. They're incredibly intense and unpredictable; it takes 2 mature Sixes to really make it work and get the most out of it; not to mention that the chemistry must be the same in order for things to heat up.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
625 Posts
I'm a Type 4 and I have a somewhat volatile relationship with a Type 1. He's hypercritical of me and I'm oversensitive. I know that he's only trying to be helpful but sometimes his criticisms make me feel worthless. On the other hand, when I communicate how I'm feeling, I think that I make him feel like he's doing something wrong. It's a vicious cycle we're trying to get out of. Part of the problem is that he's a very objective, scientific person, while I'm more interested in looking at life through a subjective lens. For him, it is about what the truth is, while for me it is about how I feel and what I value. Both of us are motivated to make the world a better place, find truths, and cultivate out identities but we go about it in entirely different ways.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Dalton

·
Registered
Joined
·
14 Posts
5 and 8? Alright. It's long, but I'm just assuming that if you wanted this specifically you'd want this kind of reply. If I'm wrong here's the tl;dr version: 5+8=badgoodish, not good when teens, can be violent

I'm a 5w4 and my older brother is an 8w7. Now, I come from a house with six brothers and sisters, and I’m pretty sure out of all the relationships between any two siblings in our family ours was the tensest.

He happened to be an ISTJ 8w7, which I guess is a bit rare, but as he is often left in charge when we were young he replaced my parents as the number one figure for me to complain about as a Disgruntled Teenager™. In the eyes of my parents he’s probably the best child though, since he excels in pretty much everything, talks with guests, started earning money early, and acted at least in theory like an adult among the screaming babies (me & co.). The default sibling for “I wish you would behave yourself more like …..”, which by the way is an awfully ignorant wish since six of him would probably guarantee a home environment disaster. Anyways, to emphasize this point the only time within the last few years he’s gotten into trouble was when he threw a knife at me.

He hated me because I was the only one who would try to prove to my parents that he was sort of a douche. In other terms a snitch, although I only find the term amusing since only TV criminals really say that anymore. Sadly the dictator regime he set up between siblings never reached my parents, who were, not that I’m complaining, cool with minor swearing and the knowledge that teenagers generally consume alcohol etc… He said I was weak, which I agreed with him on, but that made him angry because he thought I was just being passive aggressive again. Sometimes when you do something too much people start to see it all the time, but it could’ve been worse. He’d kick me, but at the end he’s still a pretty good person and now that I’m losing the Disgruntled Teenager™ Goggles I realize that he stood up for us quite a lot as well.

Now that half of us are independent and the other half’s preparing to be independent we like to laugh about our antics together as a child, as he was sort of fun. He was for example the kind of brother who’d give you your first condoms and who’d sneak you out at night – but he was also the type of brother who would, the moment your parents are gone for a trip, enforce ridiculous rules. It was Hell, but sibling, punch-on-the-shoulder, smack-on-the-ass, throw-a-very-sharp-knife-in-your-direction-centimeters-away-from-your-head Hell. And all I could do about it was classic passive aggressiveness. Now he’s a cooler dude, and he must be a really cool dude since he's actually managed to make me a good friend of his after we've hated each other so much as children.

ehhh I'm tired and sleepy, this was done without autocorrect & those squiggly things appearing so probably full of weird words. But there.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,677 Posts
My relationship with Enneagram types:
1. I have respect for them. Same goals, etc. I haven't really interacted with many, though. I think the 2x resentment in the relationship will not be healthy, however. Same strengths, same weaknesses.
2. I had a close friend of this type once. The goal to please everybody bothers me, and felt like abandoning values to make everybody feel happy and sedated from reality.
3. I like their ambition, but I feel that a lot of it is vain (in the sense of ultimately lacking value), and therefore a sign of immaturity.
4. The extreme of absolutely needing to be different bothers me. Otherwise, I greatly adore the desire to live life genuinely.
5. I guess I respect them. Not really much to say. Little conflict, but little draw.
6. I tend to not have conflict with this type. Pleasant interactions, just that CP (to the level of Goofy Super Stupid Risk Taking 360°) annoys me. I guess that all the reactive types seem somewhat immature to me.*
7. Fun, but the undisciplined can get on my nerves very easily.
8. Wee-ooo-wee-ooo, red alert! I don't think we ever get along unless we have a common enemy. I react viciously to anybody who demonstrates a neurotic need for interpersonal control. (I wonder what 8s think about 1s, and is mine a common sentiment for 1s?)
9. I had a close friend of this type. Didn't know how to control his anger, and his need for interpersonal harmony felt like an abandonment of values just to avoid conflict.

*Actually, every type seems immature to me in some way, so we all suck! Also, is it a coincidence that I labelled the 3 types which create my tritype as the better relationships?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
236 Posts
4w3 here, my sister is a 3w4 and we have a relatively easy relationship although we don't see eye to eye on everything and probably wouldn't be this close if we were not related. However my dad and his wife are a 5 and 8 I believe. She's pretty dominating, she's aggressive and pretty damn mean. But my dad seems to dig that.. They get in arguments, she usually wins. My dad doesn't back down necessarily, more like he just doesn't bother much. They don't touch or kiss hardly ever in public or when I'm around for that matter. She is one to bitch at strangers, my dad makes her laugh with his quirky unusual sense of humor. But they love each other, there isn't a question about it. It can be hard to tell exactly sense they are both NTs, but they do. They argue but don't fight. My dads pretty passive and impossible to anger, she has a defensive demeanor. She hates kids and loud noises.. My dad is a calm and open minded version of her. They are dual INTP and ENTJ if that helps :)


Sent from my iPod touch using Tapatalk
 
  • Like
Reactions: FranOL

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,065 Posts
Hmm, who should I go with? Well, I spend the most time with my 2w1 boyfriend, and I'm a 4w5. We're a childish couple in the sense that we're constantly joking around and looking to have fun together. He also happens to be an ENFP and pulls me out of my shell, which is awesome. I've made a lot of friends through him over the years, and I always end up having a good time when he convinces me to leave the cave that is my bedroom and go out to a party or wherever. The problems tend to arise when things get really emotionally heavy because we fall too much into our roles of 'the rescuer' and the one looking to be 'rescued'. He's silent about how hard he's trying to keep it together and take care of me, and I expect him to comfort me and walk on eggshells around me, never saying the wrong thing. And then on the occasion that he has a meltdown, I'm just thinking, seriously? you think I can help you? I can't help myself! And then I just wanna throw my hands up in the air and walk away even though I love him to death. Morality has been a small issue between us, too. He has a strict set of morals that everyone must abide by, or he demonizes them. But if he violates his own moral standards, he will justify his actions to the grave, which I find annoying. He also can be more practical than me, which is really good, but it catches me off guard sometimes since he's usually a procrastinating jokester. Like if he's super stressed about something, he'll be very adamant about stopping the fun and getting right to work on it as soon as possible. Which is totally what you should do, at least in comparison to my lazy avoidance of work, but I don't like when the situation involves me having to get right to work or do something by a deadline.
 
  • Like
Reactions: FranOL

·
Registered
Joined
·
231 Posts
All right.

1: My roommate is this type, and she is one of my best friends. Some of them strike me as sticklers, but they always seem to have a great sense of integrity to them. My fondness for them depends on how authentic their integrity is.

2: My mother, sister, and grandmother are these types. My sister could actually be a 3...not sure. My best friend is also this type. I have zero interest in this type romantically, and I usually get annoyed with them as friends.

3: My BF is this type. I usually see through them, but like them nonetheless. My boyfriend acts more 1ish than most 3s I know. The more genuine the 3, the more I love them. This is the type I think I could see myself ending up with, as I love their ambition and intelligence.

4: They are drawn to me, but I very rarely like them.

5: I love them! So intelligent, so cerebral, so logical. I have very close friends of this type, and I typically like them always.

6: I typically get along with them, and we usually become fast friends. The SX 6's can really grate my nerves, but the SO 6's I've met are usually my favorite people to be around. I can't help but wonder if I am a 6 instead of a 9...

7: We get along if we happen upon each other. My ex was this type and even though he drove me crazy, we still had great times together.

8: I get along with them, but they are among my least favorites.

9: My dad (SP) and my brother (SX). My favorite people in the world, though they are polar opposites despite having the same type (dad is INTJ and brother is xSFP).


Favorites: 1, 3, 5, 6, 9

No preference: 7

Least favorites: 2, 4, 8

I am a 9w1 who may be a 6w7, not 100% certain yet.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 

·
Beer Guardian
ENTP 5w6 So/Sx 584 ILE Honorary INTJ ♂
Joined
·
17,930 Posts
Hi! I enjoy writing in my free time, and I'm curious about the relationships between the different enneagram types. It would be awesome if everybody wrote down which enneagram type you are and the enneagram types of the people whom you carry on close relationship, could be friends, your couple, it doesn't matter as long as is someone close to you. (I'm really interested if anyone does know a relation between a 5 and an 8).
Then, when we've all answered, we can reach a conclusion, and it maight be helpfull to us.
What do you think?
Starting, I'm a 5w4, I have a brother (absolutely 9) and I love "spending time" with him, the thing that makes me want to kill him is that he can't make decisions on his own... An other close relationship I have is with a 9 too! But she is the most balanced person I know and she's great at making decisions. My father, on the other hand is a problem, he's a 2, and basically he made me a 5, because he overwhelmed me too much when I was a kid, that when I tasted freedom I couldn't see him again. In fact I haven't seen him in two years, I didn't let him touch me either.. I don't know why do I react so dramatically... Now I'm cautious and without thinking I tend to avoid 2, in other words I avoid opening my self and fiscal contact.
Ok, so, two 9s that are close to me, I do avoid 2, and... I don't have a boyfriend so I think we're done.
I'm a 5 married to an 8, does that count?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
40 Posts
Discussion Starter #10
I'm a 5 married to an 8, does that count?
Yes! Oh, I've heard its an unusual combination, that's why I was curious. I read somewhere that 5 plus 8 where amazing as a team if both healthy, because each one has what the other lacks. But when both are under stress or have some trouble (unhealthy really..) they act in absolutely opposite ways, 5 tend to close themselves and isolate, while eights tend to "attack" and confront things.

Is it like that to you?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
64 Posts
Yes! Oh, I've heard its an unusual combination, that's why I was curious. I read somewhere that 5 plus 8 where amazing as a team if both healthy, because each one has what the other lacks. But when both are under stress or have some trouble (unhealthy really..) they act in absolutely opposite ways, 5 tend to close themselves and isolate, while eights tend to "attack" and confront things.

Is it like that to you?
I'm an 8 and I have a pretty close relationship with a 5. At our best we're amazing together. He calms me down and I fire him up. We're exactly what the other needs. We're both pretty healthy, I'd say. I'm very self-aware and push myself to be more emotionally intelligent as part of my spiritual growth, so in stressful situations where my instinct tells me to confront him and 'air it all out' I find myself biting my tongue and retreating into my mind to figure it out before approaching him. I just find it to be a better problem solving strategy than confronting him, having him withdraw into an abyss, and being left wondering what the heck the answers are to all my pressing questions!
 
1 - 11 of 11 Posts
Top