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Personality Style Four: The Original Person
Core Value Tendency: FOURS are attracted to and value originality, authenticity, individuality, and artistic expression. They desire to be sensitive, refined persons, seeking to make the world more beautiful. They value the inner journey and are on the quest for the Holy Grail, their real self. Honoring your uniqueness and deeply connecting to others and to the world is what life is all about.

Adaptive Cognitive Schema: The objective vision that keeps FOURS aligned with their true nature and with reality is the realization that they are already original. They already are in possession of what they are searching for. The treasure is buried in the field of their inner self. They are already connected to their source, the ground of their being and so are already connected to their real self and to the real selves of others. They realize they belong in this world and are not missing anything essential.

Adaptive Emotional Schema: The state that accompanies the FOURS' objective paradigm is equanimity, the experience of inner balance and outer harmony. A person in the state of equanimity feels complete and fulfilled in the present moment. Each moment they have everything they need to be perfectly happy. Events are responded to in a realistic appropriate manner without exaggeration or dramatization.

Adaptive Behavioral Schemas: The attitudes and actions that flow from an acceptance of one's authentic inner nature and from a state of equanimity are an exquisite sensitivity, appreciation and respect for all that is. FOURS have an intuitive aesthetic sense and an innate sense for quality; that is, they have good taste and class. Their sensibilities put them in touch with their own and others' moods, being especially attuned to pain and suffering. FOURS have a highly active imagination and fantasy life. They are romantic, nostalgic, and poetic. FOURS like to ritualize human experiences, making the ordinary extraordinary and the extraordinary ordinary. They can see the universe in a grain of sand and can turn a grain of sand into a pearl. FOURS easily attune themselves to the mood and spirit of their surroundings.

Maladaptive Cognitive Schema: When FOURS exaggerate their sensitive qualities and uniqueness, they over-identify with the idealized self image of I am special and unique. To compensate for a maladaptive belief that they are defective and faulty, and to prevent themselves from being abandoned, they seek to be special. To survive they believe they must be highly individual and make a lasting impression on people so they won't be forgotten. They believe they must outclass their opponents. Their habit of attention goes to what is missing instead of to what is there.

Maladaptive Emotional Schema: Constantly comparing themselves to others and consistently coming up short, FOURS experience the passion of envy. Others appear to have what they are missing: spontaneity, relationships, happiness, etc. FOURS feel melancholy, apart from the main, misunderstood. Their suffering makes them special

Maladaptive Behavioral Schema: Perceiving the world as abandoning, and feeling envious of others' qualities and possessions, FOURS are driven to make themselves special and uncommon. They become dramatic, moody, misunderstood, tragic romantics, pushing themselves to live at the edges of experience. Fantasies become more satisfying than real life. Relationships are passionately engaged in and just as intensely pushed away. Seeking connections, FOURS fear abandonment, and become aloof and feel alienated.

What is Avoided: Because they want to be special, FOURS avoid being ordinary. Being common, just like everyone else, is the worst thing FOURS can imagine. Living within the middle range of experience, without extreme highs and lows, is boring and deadening.

Defensive Maneuvers: FOURS steer away from being ordinary through uncommon experiences and expressions. No one feels as deeply as they do, no one experiences life in the same way they do. Mere words are not enough to express their responses; they need poetry, music, dance, painting, some kind of artistic sublimation to capture their experience.

Childhood Development: FOURS often felt abandoned or unwanted by a parent or caretaker. They believed this was because there was something wrong with them or they weren't good enough. So they tried to make themselves into special persons that would be noticed and not left behind. If they made a strong emotional impact, others wouldn't leave them. FOURS thought of themselves as living at the extremes, at the edges, instead of in the middle with everyone else. Very early on they felt different from others, as though they were delivered to the wrong planet.

Non-Resourceful State: When FOURS are under stress, they do more of the same, that is, they exaggerate their moods, feel more misunderstood and hurt, and become aristocrats in exile. They turn their anger on themselves and get more depressed. FOURS get stuck in their feelings instead of letting them energize them into constructive action. Denying their own needs and helping others instead of dealing with their own pain, they become suffering servants.

Resourceful State: When FOURS are in a resourceful relaxed state, they seek and find wholeness within them. They get connected to their real feelings vs abandoning themselves then looking for fulfillment from someone else. They stay in the present and realize that right now they have all they need to be perfectly happy. They aren't missing anything. They re-own their goodness. Taking an action oriented, problem-centered approach, they stay with the facts and don't exaggerate their emotional response or amplify the stimuli. They maintain their equanimity. They believe they are already original, connected, and belong. They understand they are home and already have what they are looking for. I am and so I am both unique and universal replaces I am special therefore I am somebody.
 

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Very good description - I can see so much of myself in it!

But what is meant by "Their suffering makes them special" (under "Maladaptive Emotional Schema")? Doesn't people of all enneagram types suffer from time to time?
 

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Wow. This is a very good description, it all makes a lot of sense... a bit more sense than I'd like if you ask me!

But how does a maladapted four adapt? That's what I would most like to know. I don't know how to feel that I am enough.

But what is meant by "Their suffering makes them special" (under "Maladaptive Emotional Schema")? Doesn't people of all enneagram types suffer from time to time?
I believe what it means is that fours tend to believe that their particular reason for suffering makes them special. Our suffering feels unique to us since it is caused by problems that others don't seem to have. Of course everybody suffers, but not always for the same reasons.

At least that's what I understood from it, I could be totally off. ^^;
 

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Yeah, Windswept Sky has hit it on the money. It's almost like Fours appear to have a 'special' kind of suffering, ie, it's their suffering which makes them particularly unique, of course other types do suffer, it perhaps isn't a defining or fundamental feature of the other types as it is for Fours.
 

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I really like this! I've never seen these descriptions. Lately i've had a lot of equanimity.. i think it helped to go home for the weekend to the local fair. loved it :)
 

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Personality Style Four: They desire to be sensitive, refined persons, seeking to make the world more beautiful. They value the inner journey and are on the quest for the Holy Grail, their real self. Honoring your uniqueness and deeply connecting to others and to the world is what life is all about.

Adaptive Cognitive Schema: The objective vision that keeps FOURS aligned with their true nature and with reality is the realization that they are already original. They already are in possession of what they are searching for. The treasure is buried in the field of their inner self. They are already connected to their source, the ground of their being and so are already connected to their real self and to the real selves of others. They realize they belong in this world and are not missing anything essential.
What about when the thing that makes them feel content, calm, happy, and special that they find in themselves is not accepted by others?

I have a problem sticking with the things that make happy and help me help others, when I get around a new person and they try to tell me I am wrong. I always make it a point to see things from other peoples perspectives so that I do not become judgmental. When I do this though sometimes I slip into depression because what they believe is not constructive for me to believe.

Being a type 4 INFJ, particularly Ni and Fe, I find it hard to separate my wants and needs from those of others.
 

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What about when the thing that makes them feel content, calm, happy, and special that they find in themselves is not accepted by others?

I have a problem sticking with the things that make happy and help me help others, when I get around a new person and they try to tell me I am wrong. I always make it a point to see things from other peoples perspectives so that I do not become judgmental. When I do this though sometimes I slip into depression because what they believe is not constructive for me to believe.

Being a type 4 INFJ, particularly Ni and Fe, I find it hard to separate my wants and needs from those of others.
The best way to do this, on a very simple level, is to just say no when someone tries to get you do something because THEY feel you ought to.

Write down what your needs are (a roof over your head, clothes, electricity, food, income etc) and then what you want for your life (in terms of career, aspirations etc) then you will know when someone says something that conflicts with what you want.

I know what you mean, there are times I want to avoid going into teaching as a career because I will be giving my time to help others, so how do I know when to stop? The answer is, i'll have to do it myself, and make sure I stop at the right time, and get the most out of my weekends and spare time.
 

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What about when the thing that makes them feel content, calm, happy, and special that they find in themselves is not accepted by others?

I have a problem sticking with the things that make happy and help me help others, when I get around a new person and they try to tell me I am wrong. I always make it a point to see things from other peoples perspectives so that I do not become judgmental. When I do this though sometimes I slip into depression because what they believe is not constructive for me to believe.

Being a type 4 INFJ, particularly Ni and Fe, I find it hard to separate my wants and needs from those of others.
The best way to do this, on a very simple level, is to just say no when someone tries to get you do something because THEY feel you ought to.

Write down what your needs are (a roof over your head, clothes, electricity, food, income etc) and then what you want for your life (in terms of career, aspirations etc) then you will know when someone says something that conflicts with what you want.

I know what you mean, there are times I want to avoid going into teaching as a career because I will be giving my time to help others, so how do I know when to stop? The answer is, i'll have to do it myself, and make sure I stop at the right time, and get the most out of my weekends and spare time.
This is very good advise. Thank you.

I guess I was trying to say that I kind of transform into a version of the other person for a while when I am getting to know them so that I can better get to know them by seeing it from their view point. For awhile I actually like what they like and dislike what they dislike so I can get the most full experience of seeing what they see. No one is right or wrong, better or worse, we are all just different. On one hand, I know I want certain details in my life like to work in the alternative health field and to continue to believe in and develop my spirituality, but on the other hand I also want to be as open minded and understanding as possible (which also happens to be part of my spirituality and efforts to help heal), and there is no better way to understand someone than to step into their shoes for a while.

Anyway, it gets all spinny and confusing when I have too many points of view to consider, and which one is mine when one of mine is to be able to truly accept there point of view on how they experience things and make decisions. Granted, I don't 100% step into their shoes, that would be impossible, but in my imagination but transformed to actually agree. For example, I relate to both the tomb boy and girly girl appeal. That is a very simple example but take a life time of going around with everyone you see and meet and retaining there view point in order to love and respect them and hold them as dear as the next.

I willfully view each experience objectively and subjectively from my point of view, thier point of view and between them and others. Of course, I stop after a few and only see it from new angle as needed because there are unlimited combinations to consider.

I don't want to give up on this. I feel like I would have to become a completely different person in order to do so and I feel like I would become a selfish person who separates themselves from others and hurts them if I do give up on this.
 
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