[deSouza]

1. What drives you in life? What do you look for?


Success? That to me is making a substantial difference for humankind.



2. What do you hope to accomplish in your life?


The above. To leave the world a better place than as I came in.



3. What do you hope to avoid doing or being? What values are important to you?


Hurting people? Oppressing people? Being part of the problem as opposed to the solution.
I used to be a communist, by choice, theoretical compatibility with what I believed was the right thing to do. I think fairness is an extremely important value to me, fairness of treatment, opportunity, etc.



4. What are your biggest fears (not including phobias)? Why?


Making mistakes inadvertently. Seems like weakness to me, and the only way to achieve what I want is to be strong.


5. How do you want others to see you? How do you see yourself?


I'd like people to see me as fair and reliable. I see myself as in a really shitty phase, possibly disintegration. Misunderstood to the extreme and very vulnerable. Unworthy of people's attention.


6. What makes you feel your best? What makes you feel your worst?


Being in a fulfilling relationship, intellectually, emotionally and sexually.
Fucking up.


7. Describe how you experience each of: a) anger; b) shame; c) anxiety.

a) I tend to exteriorize it. Used to play basketball in school and anger pretty much improved my game. Same goes for intellectual pursuits. Anger makes me rise up to the challenge.

b) Shame is crippling. Specially when I believe I did something bad, I have a tendency to retreat and either think it through or try to cope with it.

c) I try to get busy with something


8. Describe how you respond to each of: a) stress; b) unexpected change; c) conflict.

a) I can think clearly under stress

b) I enjoy it

c) As long as I'm not in the wrong it is not at all a problem to me. I have a tendency of thinking i'm wrong frequently though.


9. Describe your orientation to: a) authority; b) power. How do you respond to these?

a) Question it almost instinctively. Have been accused of emanating it. Respond negatively.

b) Drawn to it. Respond positively.




10. What is your overall outlook on life and humanity?

Varies according with my mood. Often think humanity is shit or something that makes life worth it.


11. Discuss an event that has impacted your life significantly; more importantly, how you responded to it.

Fiance broke up with me. Tried to reverse the situation, and went down burning bridges and fighting with her in all sorts of ways. Spent a long time brooding and being depressed.


12. Comment on your relationship with trust.

I can trust a select few entirely. I actually trust people more than i'm given trust, and that often creates uneven relationships and places me in unconfortable situations.



13. List some of the traits you: a) like; b) dislike most about yourself.

a) I'm obstinate. If I put something in my mind I can chase it relentlessly. I crossed the Atlantic and changed my entire life for that fiance, giving up virtually everything for what I thought would be happyness. I'm very good with argumentation. I can spin any argument in my favor and win an audience. I'm creative, giving, a pragmatic idealist. I can take a lot more than most people.

b) I'm stuck in a rut for years and I can't get out of it. Can't function as a person. Relationships, university, professionally. Have a tendency of creating unnecessary trouble. Have a tendency of doing the worst possible thing at the worst possible moment to self sabotage.


14. What do you see or notice in others that most people don't?

Their capacity. I have a knack for discovering talent in people they themselves can't see. Foreseeing future events. People's actions, processes, etc. I'm usually right about that kind of stuff.


15. If a stranger insults you, how do you respond/feel? What if they compliment you?

Depends on their approach. If I think they're deliberately trying to insult me I usually get back at them in some way. Either ignoring and making the person know I think i'm above playing the game or pointing out some bad aspect of the person in question. If I think I did something wrong I just stand there and take the beating as a form of self punishment.
With compliments, I smile politely and do not pay much attention to what they said, although being secretly pleased.


16. What's something you are: a) thankful you have; b) wish you could have? Why?

a) My brain. I think it's really a beautiful machine.
b) A significant other. I kind of crave for intimacy.

 

[deSouza]

anyone at all

 

[Wake]

3w2. I'm curious what about an 8w9 that you see in yourself because an 8 of any sort was far from what you sound like. Aggressive types are about gaining what they desire and achieving, so it's understandable how a 3 could think they maybe an 8.

 

[deSouza]

3w2. I'm curious what about an 8w9 that you see in yourself because an 8 of any sort was far from what you sound like. Aggressive types are about gaining what they desire and achieving, so it's understandable how a 3 could think they maybe an 8.

I was told I was an 8 by someone I know.

 

[Sina]

Your core type is a superego type. For more info on this, start with the article http://personalitycafe.com/articles/47315-freudian-theory-enneagram.html .

First impression: 1w2-6w5-3w2 (or 2w3).

Read through the following descriptions for types 1, 6, 3 and 2:

1. Typewatch Enneagram: Typewatch Enneagram Type Descriptions
2. the enneagram ...info from the underground

Go through this, if time allows:
3. http://personalitycafe.com/articles/65627-enneagram-article-series.html

Tell me what you think after you've gone through the info.
Also, you'll need to do a lot of reading and introspection before you can arrive on your type. Don't just take someone's word for it

 

[deSouza]

Your core type is a superego type. For more info on this, start with the article http://personalitycafe.com/articles/47315-freudian-theory-enneagram.html .

First impression: 1w2-6w5-3w2 (or 2w3).

Read through the following descriptions for types 1, 6, 3 and 2:

1. Typewatch Enneagram: Typewatch Enneagram Type Descriptions
2. the enneagram ...info from the underground

Go through this, if time allows:
3. http://personalitycafe.com/articles/65627-enneagram-article-series.html

Tell me what you think after you've gone through the info.
Also, you'll need to do a lot of reading and introspection before you can arrive on your type. Don't just take someone's word for it

Its why I asked. I have a funny relationship with conflict, which led me to think I was an 8 as well. And i've been in leadership positions. Will do some reading when I have time but it seems to fit me perfectly.

I'm a definite ENTP though, so I'm thinking my type is pretty damn bizarre even for an ENTP haha.

Thanks a bunch btw. You're the boss.




Also, at least I got the right triad.

 

[Sina]

I just read it again..I'd go with 3w2 for your heart fix, for sure.

 

[deSouza]

I have been doing some reading. Not certain about being an enneagram 1w2 or 1w9, but definetely a 1.

As for 6w5... I don't consider myself to be motivated by fear, and I'll be damned if I have faith as a holy idea. I can say the same about security, it is definitely not something I long for. Being in control of my own life would be a basic desire, and I wouldn't mind it being in a warzone or through a minefield, as long as i'm making the decisions. I tell myself that those decisions would always be ethical, and I have worked hard to develop my own code independent from society's moral standards. Being controlled by someone else a fear. I don't wish to control others at all, but this also is very similar to me when engaged in a cause:


"He tried to teach his young assistants to read men--“Watch their hands, watch their eyes” he told them. “Read eyes. No matter what a man is saying to you, it’s not as important as what you can read in his eyes”--and to read between the lines: more interested in men’s weaknesses than in their strengths because it was weakness that could be exploited, he tried to teach his assistants how to learn a man’s weakness. "The most important thing a man has to tell you is what he isn’t telling you,” he said. "The most important thing a man has to say is what he’s trying not to say.” For that reason, he told them, it was important to keep the man talking; the longer he talked, the more likely he was to let slip a hint of that vulnerability he was so anxious to conceal. “That’s why he wouldn’t let a conversation end." Busby explains. “If he saw the other fellow was trying not to say something, he wouldn’t let it (the conversation) end until he got it out of him.” And Lyndon Johnson himself read with a genius that couldn’t be taught, with a gift that was so instinctive that a close observer of his reading habits, Robert G. (Bobby) Baker, calls it a “sense”; "He seemed to sense each man’s individual price and the commodity he preferred as coin.” He read with a novelist’s sensitivity, with an insight that was unerring, with an ability, shocking in the depth of its penetration and perception, to look into a man’s heart and know his innermost worries and desires. (From Robert Caro's Lyndon Johnson.)

And I find myself scanning for people's (and systems) weaknesses in my personal life and inadvertently hitting on them. When I played basketball I was terrible at defense and was one of the best offensive players in town. I do have a somewhat responsive sense of political action, was an antifascist even, but i'd say that i'm more proactive than reactive. Misuse of power is a deep concern, but I tend to dismiss it when something good is accomplished.

What are (more) differences between counter-phobic sixes and eights again?

 

[deSouza]

looking at the tritype archetypes I might be an unhealthy 1 - 3 - 7

1w2? 7w8 3w2

 

[aconite]

Sorry, but I don't think your head fix is 7w8. Everything you've written sounds like your head fix is counterphobic 6.

From ocean-moonshine.net:

Counterphobic Sixes can resemble Eights; both types can be quite aggressive and even dominating. Usually the Six's inner doubt, anxiety and reactivity will betray itself however; the conterphobic presentation therefore differs from the more strategic aggression of type Eight. In general, counterphobic Sixes are more volatile and less predictable than Eights. Eights are more grounded than counterphobic Sixes.

8 is an id type, 6 is a superego type.

3w2 for heart fix and 1w2 for gut fix sound about right IMO. But it's eventually up to you to decide.

 

[deSouza]

I certainly have an issue with self image/perception.

Did some traveling and had time to think a little bit, will revise some answers.



1. What drives you in life? What do you look for?


Success? That to me is making a substantial difference for humankind. Leaving my mark in the world.



2. What do you hope to accomplish in your life?


Success. That to me means the above, to leave the world a better place than as I came in, and to have one gratifying and significant personal connection. Talking about true love. To complete someone and be completed, to reach a state of inner peace with the world and myself. In my scale of principles a relationship would trump everything I work/worked for and everything I stand by. I have actually dated a political enemy before and I was more committed to the relationship than to my ideals. I didn't betray either though .



3. What do you hope to avoid doing or being? What values are important to you?


Being part of the problem as opposed to the solution. Being selfish, or a bad person. Being controlled by other people.
I used to be a communist, from 13-14 to 21 years old. A teacher identified me as a right winger or bourgeois one year before high school, and sort of challenged me in class. I got motivated by it and learned more about the subject. Adhered to the school of thought against my best interest or the collective interests of the people I knew. By choice, because I thought it was right, the theory was solid, and most importantly, that I thought the status quo and economic/social relations were backward and a revolutionary approach could pave way for building a more modern society. Initially it wasn't out of rebelliousness, more like a coldly calculated pathway to statecraft. I'm in no way a joiner though, extremely individualist, I kept my identity at all times and switched between parties as I found out theoretical and pragmatical incompatibilities. I tended to gravitate towards less established parties where leadership positions were more available. Socially wise I was often criticized for not socializing enough, people liked me and I am definitely extroverted but I always had a strong resistance to be part of groups, with the exception of groups I set up and had a protective role of sorts. Tended to leave those too once bored / felt that they weren't contributing for personal growth / wouldn't be effective to my designs. Communism is mainstream in my country. Has a moral high ground as it was the main opposition force during a bloody military dictatorship that lasted 25 years. It is not, however, taken seriously, merely rhetorically, and is in fact a political elevator for people left and right.
I think fairness is an extremely important value to me, fairness of treatment, opportunity, etc, in a meritocratic sense. Being harsh or soft according to the necessity of the circumstances, because systems-wise that would be optimal. I see that as true strength, which I guess its my main value. (Sun Wu Art of war sort of strength)



4. What are your biggest fears (not including phobias)? Why?


An ex once asked what was my biggest fear, and I replied to her that it was a Count of Monte Cristo sort of situation. To be socially overwhelmed by my enemies and lose my one true love. I read that when I was 7 and it really affected me.

Making mistakes inadvertently. Seems like weakness to me, and the only way to achieve what I want is to be strong.

Being a bad person. Striving for good and perfection are part of my values.


5. How do you want others to see you? How do you see yourself?


Fair and reliable are qualities seen as optimal for leaders where I live. I am most certainly fair, and people often came to me as an arbiter to settle personal issues / disputes, but I do think I am in an unhealthy phase and others can pick up on that. Misunderstood to the extreme and very vulnerable. People don't see that I am vulnerable though, and I often find myself in conflict. When I was a child a relative who spent a considerable time in India used to call me "little buddha", as she saw me as extremely peaceful and detached. People often considered me chilled out, before this rut I'm currently stuck in. I think that is an image I passed to people and something I aspired.
I want others to see myself as strong, competent, optimal, peaceful, grounded. I see fairness, reliability, unpredictability, capability and quite a few other qualities as strength. I see competitiveness as a weakness, and I consciously try not to do it. Other people often try to compete with me, and I can either shrug it off as immaturity or go way overboard with it and use all available means if there is a common goal and I want it. People used to joke that "I didn't know how to play" in high school, because one minute I was fooling around and at the other throats were being slit. And I saw no problem with it.


6. What makes you feel your best? What makes you feel your worst?


Being in a fulfilling relationship, intellectually, emotionally and sexually.
Being deprived of it and realizing its my fault. I actually have a tendency to self sabotage and almost purposely implode relationships and projects, and I don't give a damn about it. Not being in control of the outcome of my actions, that is, screwing up inadvertely over something I cared makes me feel the worst though.


7. Describe how you experience each of: a) anger; b) shame; c) anxiety.

a) I tend to exteriorize it. Used to play basketball in school and anger pretty much improved my game. I was the best player in the team and at one point in a key game the coach benched me because I wasn't putting enough effort on the defense. I got yelled at publicly and became enraged. After a while I got back in the game, and the rest of it was the best match in my entire life. There was literally no stopping for me. Another situation was during a school chess championship. My class hadn't won anything, and I was in the finals. Not really taking it seriously. My friend in the football team spread some lies saying that my competitor had said it was an easy match. It lasted about 3 minutes. Same goes for intellectual pursuits. Anger makes me rise up to the challenge.

b) Shame is crippling. Specially when I believe I did something bad, I have a tendency to retreat and either think it through or try to cope with it. If, however, I realize there is foul play involved and someone is being unfair, I go apeshit. Sometimes I further increase my public humiliation by acting angrily in situations that do not require it.

c) I try to get busy with something. Listen to music. Try to think, control my breathing. I do think i've done some bad stuff in the past out of being anxious/apprehensive.


8. Describe how you respond to each of: a) stress; b) unexpected change; c) conflict.

a) I can think clearly under stress

b) I enjoy it

c) As long as I'm not in the wrong it is not at all a problem to me. I have a tendency of thinking i'm wrong frequently though. There is a weird combination of avoiding it and enjoying it that really makes my reaction unpredictable, even to myself.


9. Describe your orientation to: a) authority; b) power. How do you respond to these?

a) Question it almost instinctively. Have been accused of emanating it. Respond negatively.

b) Drawn to it. Respond positively if used positively. If used negatively I tend to viciously attack it.




10. What is your overall outlook on life and humanity?

Varies according with my mood. Often think humanity is shit or something that makes life worth it.


11. Discuss an event that has impacted your life significantly; more importantly, how you responded to it.

Fiance broke up with me. Tried to reverse the situation, and went down burning bridges and fighting with her in all sorts of ways. I remember the thought of "I gave/was willing to give up my life for you and you dare treating me like this" was constantly in my head. Think a bit of revenge was involved. Spent a long time brooding and being depressed after that. Even while in another relationship.


12. Comment on your relationship with trust.

I can trust a select few entirely. I actually trust people more than i'm given trust, because I think that is the amiable thing to do, and that often creates uneven relationships and places me in uncomfortable situations. Once trust is broken I usually feel bad about it and have a tendency to punish people for breaking my trust. I have been pragmatic about it and simply ignored/let it go in the past.



13. List some of the traits you: a) like; b) dislike most about yourself.

a) I'm obstinate. If I put something in my mind I can chase it relentlessly. I crossed the Atlantic and changed my entire life for that fiance, giving up virtually everything for what I thought would be happiness. I'm very good with argumentation. I can spin any argument in my favor and win an audience. I'm creative, giving, a pragmatic idealist. I can take a lot more than most people.

b) I'm stuck in a rut for years and I can't get out of it. Can't function as a person. Relationships, university, professionally. Have a tendency of creating unnecessary trouble. Have a tendency of doing the worst possible thing at the worst possible moment to self sabotage.


14. What do you see or notice in others that most people don't?

Their capacity. I have a knack for discovering talent in people they themselves can't see. Foreseeing future events. People's actions, processes, etc. I'm usually right about that kind of stuff.


15. If a stranger insults you, how do you respond/feel? What if they compliment you?

Depends on their approach. If I think they're deliberately trying to insult me I usually get back at them in some way. When I was a kid I got into fights. Now I either ignore and make the person know I think i'm above playing the game or pointing out some bad aspect of the person in question. If I think I did something wrong I just stand there and take the beating as a form of self punishment. Up to the level I think its enough, then I start to react as well.
With compliments, I smile politely and do not pay much attention to what they said, although being secretly pleased.


16. What's something you are: a) thankful you have; b) wish you could have? Why?

a) My brain. I think it's really a beautiful machine.
b) A significant other. I kind of crave for intimacy.

 

[deSouza]

and no, i'm not a 3, tops a 1-6-7 (counterphobic 6)

I absolutely loathe the notion of status for status and the main reason me and my fiancee didnt work out was that. I dont care about my image, inasmuch as it doesnt interfere with my goals.

 

[deSouza]

Done some more reading on the subject.


I'm definetely in the 1 7 4 group.

Definitely 7w8 and 4w5.

So i'm thinking either 1wX 7w8 4w5 or 7w8 1wx 4w5

Probably 7w8 1w9 4w5.

I am basically michael jackson in reverse.

How do I know if I am primarily a head or a gut type?

 

[Sina]

You have the core motivation of a 1 not a 7, therefore you're a gut type!
You're a core superego type. Since, you're doing a lot of reading, I won't explain what that's all about.
That said, continue reading further.

As for 3 fix, core 3s have a concern with image and status. A core 1 with a 3 fix would be able to work their image to their advantage (in the interest of a goal). This is the more charming, smoother talking one who knows how to work a crowd (for the greater good or whatever other goal they have). A lot of charismatic one leaders have 3 fixes.

p.s. We need more "world savers" I think you're the only person I've seen here openly talk about doing something or wanting to do something about social inequalities etc. I admire that.

p.p.s. You're most certainly a 1w2. 1w9s focus on the theoretical side of social change, and 1w2s are the more "intense", more action oriented and more dominant of the two. The 2 wing adds a warm touch to the personality; a better ability to create an "impression" on the listener. 1w9s are more distant and detached. Their passion can be very muted.

 

[deSouza]

I have been called smooth talking in the past. But it might just be the 7ness talking. Getting excited with an idea and such.

With regards to being a 1w2 or a 1w9, I can be very dominant and intense (and i'm usually always intense even if I don't show it), or more distant/detached/muted. I think I have been focused primarily on the theoretical side of social change, not in the sense of introspecting and studying to understand what to do, but doing that and figuring out in practice what to do. To help people / involving people though.

And this

1w2s are more practical than 1w9s, and are less likely to get bogged down in moral theorizing. They want to do what's right, right now. They cannot abide injustice and are more likely to seek a confrontational situation than a 1w9. They are also likely to believe that inaction in the face of injustice is just as bad as actually committing that injustice, as they can easily empathize with others.

In timeless' description sort of suits me very well. Could it be that i'm a 1, with equally balanced wings?

I self diagnosed myself with a bit of misanthropy, and considering the 1 disintegration arrow points to 4 it might explain a lot.

My apparent lack of concern with image might stem from the fact that my image triad is the last one to be activated, and that I think caring about image is wrong?

Reading the stackings (i'm positive i'm a SX/SP) it does seem like i'm more like a 3w2 than a 4w5 or a 3w4. Yet i'm very concerned with the idea of uniqueness, although i'd say that hope is more of a "holy idea" to me than "origin".
I'm very pragmatic when I've got my work hat on though, and that might be more compatible with a 3. I do however want to deal with my emotions / have a tendency to "build myself up behind closed doors" before presenting myself to people.

Type 3 with a 4 Wing (Id-Ego): A 3w4 has all the id desires of a 3, but it's tempered with the withdrawn nature of the 4. The 3w4 is often more detached from others, choosing to cultivate their image from afar. 4 is an ego type, and one coping mechanism for the ego type is to withdraw into itself to avoid the conflict between the id and superego. You can see this in the 3w4: they'd rather build themselves up behind closed doors first, then present themselves to others.


Like this. So i'm thinking of going with the 3w4.


Do you still think i'm a 1w2 6w5 3w2 or do you agree with my "typing"?

 

[Sina]

Charm is definitely a 7 thing as well, but the manner in which you describe your ability to lead and inspire is more 3ish (goal oriented, designed to 'impress'). 7 charm has a playful, spontaneous, trickster quality to it. Though they can also lead and inspire as well as any other type, of course.

I still see 6w5. Could you tell me more about the ways in which you relate to Type 7? We can explore it further. 7 isn't entirely out of question.

Yes, I am sure 1w2 is your core type. I still see 3w2 as your heart fix. You've just looked at a little snippet about 3w4. I am busy right now, but I'll PM you a more detailed description when I can. I'll have to look it up. Have you read the TW blogspot description for 3s?

 

[deSouza]

Charm is definitely a 7 thing as well, but the manner in which you describe your ability to lead and inspire is more 3ish (goal oriented, designed to 'impress'). 7 charm has a playful, spontaneous, trickster quality to it. Though they can also lead and inspire as well as any other type, of course.

I still see 6w5. Could you tell me more about the ways in which you relate to Type 7? We can explore it further. 7 isn't entirely out of question.

Yes, I am sure 1w2 is your core type. I still see 3w2 as your heart fix. You've just looked at a little snippet about 3w4. I am busy right now, but I'll PM you a more detailed description when I can. I'll have to look it up. Have you read the TW blogspot description for 3s?

I see it as goal oriented, designed to function as opposed to impress. I am a bit of a trickster, can be very playful and spontaneous if my perfectionism switch is turned off.
I relate to 7w8 with the way I handle anxiety and conflict. I keep myself busy to deal with anxiety, sometimes chasing my own tail, as opposed to consider every negative possiblity and delve into it. I think challenges can be very fun from an intellectual standpoint. I jumped about 3 years in my english class (6 levels) from one day to another, after some years studying in the school, and while teachers reccomended that I jumped one or two levels, I was extremely energized by doing something difficult (and succeeding).


Rather than the woody allen "worried" type i see myself as more of a mozart "loose" type, when anxious.