I wasn't really sure where to put these because I really don't care what my Enneagram Type is anymore. I believe it is a semi-pointless search for what I seek.
However I have noticed this disturbingly reptitive trend in my days:
That I wake up, and if I have slept well - feel refreshed for an hour or two. But in the progression, my energy intensifies after that.
To which I can bite my nails, over eat, read silly internet crap, etc... when I really want to go on a quest or adventure.
Eventually I bite my nails for like an hour and try doing something, like reading; but reading is the symbol of overintensity as I cannot get passed a page without editing the words to something else in my imagination or returning to biting my nails.
This all, or at the end of the day can develop from anxiety to dread to anger, for which I beat myself up with at night.
That is, if I have not done something significant that day, which I usually don't.
I just notice that i'm blasting through my energy or something..
I can only write under inspiration at certain moments of each day. And even things like school, eating, reading, I DON'T want to do until I have done something important in the day.
Thriving is more important then surviving, yet the worst of all is that even when I do seem to find peace. I have an erection.
I'm 19, and would be extremely dissatisfied is my energy is all based on puberty. As much as I would like to have the answer be a need for expression though,
I don't get it.
Can anybody relate or provide any insight?
As much as i'd rather have the energy in stead of apathy, this is prohibiting my ability to grow in energy. I don't want to be this same person. I typically try changing who I am through material things like clothes, but it's not changing anything for my body or soul - I don't think.
I'm ready to have a passive friend in like an aura of energy following me, in stead of always actively forcing change in myself because I can't do it in my internal/alone time it seems.
However I have noticed this disturbingly reptitive trend in my days:
That I wake up, and if I have slept well - feel refreshed for an hour or two. But in the progression, my energy intensifies after that.
To which I can bite my nails, over eat, read silly internet crap, etc... when I really want to go on a quest or adventure.
Eventually I bite my nails for like an hour and try doing something, like reading; but reading is the symbol of overintensity as I cannot get passed a page without editing the words to something else in my imagination or returning to biting my nails.
This all, or at the end of the day can develop from anxiety to dread to anger, for which I beat myself up with at night.
That is, if I have not done something significant that day, which I usually don't.
I just notice that i'm blasting through my energy or something..
I can only write under inspiration at certain moments of each day. And even things like school, eating, reading, I DON'T want to do until I have done something important in the day.
Thriving is more important then surviving, yet the worst of all is that even when I do seem to find peace. I have an erection.
I'm 19, and would be extremely dissatisfied is my energy is all based on puberty. As much as I would like to have the answer be a need for expression though,
I don't get it.
Can anybody relate or provide any insight?
As much as i'd rather have the energy in stead of apathy, this is prohibiting my ability to grow in energy. I don't want to be this same person. I typically try changing who I am through material things like clothes, but it's not changing anything for my body or soul - I don't think.
I'm ready to have a passive friend in like an aura of energy following me, in stead of always actively forcing change in myself because I can't do it in my internal/alone time it seems.