This is a really good helpful description. I'm really sorry for not getting back to you, but I really appreciate this.
The thing I fell least in touch about being an 8 is that, I don't try to control anything because of any fear of being controlled. It may be because I'm an ENTP 7, but I don't like to control people very much, I very much like it when people aren't overly easy to influence as if they have no personality or will of their own. I'm really laid back and have no fear in general, but I also pretty much know my limits even if I don't outwardly seem to acknowledge them. I'm not concerned about being controlled b/c for me, it's a given that I (or people in general) can't be, mainly b/c I can't understand how that would happen in the first place unless a person were to give into another of their own will. But I do always resist domineering personalities and mess with them for fun. Doing that usually goes well for me.
My problem with 9 is that the only reason I may seem peaceful is that I just don't do anything. Tbh, I would love to be fighting (or at least competing (not out of malice but for sport I guess)) all day every day, physical or mental, but there's just simply no one to do it with b/c it would have to be with someone who's willing to fight too (and preferably would get just as much of the same pleasure and fun out of it as I did, but how many people are really like that, now really?), but people don't usually care to, well, care so much about something.
I usually know generally what I want but I can be really lazy about acquiring it, though I didn't used to be. I'm not that much concerned with others want but I won't ignore them either and will put them into consideration if their concerns are made known to me and seem reasonable and important enough. But I probably wouldn't go out of my own way and figure out people's specific concerns for the heck of it without a reason to do so.I mean, you can usually tell what a person's general concern are anyway. Though I thinks it's still accurate b/c I don't consider myself very much at all (I'm sp-blind). Sometimes I've tried to do things too much out of trying to do stuff for people like ask a question in the middle of a math lesson b/c even though I perfectly understood it, I would ask b/c I feel like there might've been something confusing to other people that they may not have caught onto and need a question asked. I feel like this makes me sound like a douche, but hey I was 13 and was genuinely concerned.
That description of 3w4 fits me perfectly. But yeah, I guess my problem with being 4w5 with that description is that though it's not exactly seeing myself as not having any flaws, it's just that if they're there, I don't pay attention to them and it's not even of the smallest concern to me and are therefoer inconsequential to me. All my energy and focus is to perfect whatever I'm doing and do things with quality of my own standards. I mentioned 5, b/c I'm a Thinker (NT) and academic matters are of great interest to me and I love investigating (how accurate that is, Idk).
I was pretty much 98% certain that I wasn't a 794 before, but I had my options open.
My emotional experience is being very straight forward. I know I would get upset if anyone made me blatantly feel incompetent unfairly. But I'm not very good at responding when that happens out of nowhere. My entire mind is in a frenzy b/c I don't believe in giving low blows to 'get back' at people. I don't really think about it like that in that way at the moment, but it's my nature and it's also kind of my fault that I left myself open like that. That was especially when I was younger though. I felt like I had to give an actual explanation, but I was just mainly like, 'Wtf is wrong with you?'
My physical experience is very apparent. It's almost an immediate reaction to situations, I'm extremely in-tune in that way and don't even have to think about it much. It's somewhat aggresive (not violent though). It's just being sure of myself w/o even thinking about it. But I never avoided pain unless it was dangerous, b/c pain isn't a big deal to me. I'm not very sensitive or put off by it or by the idea of it.
Hope this helps. If I'm not giving the right sort of details, I'd be more than glad to answer questions.
(This is also the third time I've had to write this, and I am DEAD TIRED OF HAVING TO DO IT, so I don't know how well I actually expressed by thoughts but... I'm just dead now, thx for the help again.) Oh, also expressing and thinking about nit-picky things about myself stress and tire me out. Imma do it anyway b/c I just gotta know.
I also just found this that I wrote a long while ago about my problem with this (aka my first draft):
Thank you so much for the really nice response. I'll try to give you a little more to help.
Starting from the beginning, the reason why I'm contemplating between an 8 and a 9 is that I'm more assertive and aggressive like an 8, but I don't feel like I have to control everything (out of fear). On the contrary, and it might be because I'm an ENTP, but I don't like to dictate what others do, and want to allow them that freedom. But if I were to try to control something, it'd be the flow or influence of whatever's happening through my own abilities and efforts. But I also don't completely identify with 9 because I also think that getting to up in arms about petty conflict is overrated. I would like there to be peace b/w others but only because grudges tick me off, but if I have a beef, I'm usually too stubborn to back down.
Too lazy to rework this into this third draft. I'm sorry If I sound dead. I am dead.