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MOTM Feb 2012
ISTJ 9w1
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Discussion Starter #1
Hello all,

I was just wondering whether, from personal experience, you better get along with and/or understand someone of the same Enneagram type and different MBTI type or someone of the same MBTI type and a different Enneagram type. Why do you think that is?

Looking forward to your replies!
 

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Same Enneagram type, different MBTI type.

I seem to have an instant attraction towards sevens in general. For INTJs, it depends. Maybe it's because I've suppressed my seven attributes for a long time, so that I now identify more with them. Or maybe it's because INTJs usually are rather unlike sevens, while I can still share preferences and cognitive functions with other MBTI types.
 

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I agree with @Holunder . I have found compatibility, ability to get along, and understand others better to lie more with same enneagram type, different MBTI type.

I find types 5, 7, 8 and 3 to be my favorites regardless of MTBI type. After typing this I wonder if this is due to my Ennegram being 7, having 3 and 8 in my tritypes, and point of integration being type 5. Should be interesting to see if this holds true for others.

I can get along well with type 9 to a certain degree...I tend to part ways with them on what I perceive as sitting on the fence.

I can get along well with type 6 for the most part....I tend to part ways with them when they go on their negative tirades and when they say things that are not so nice and they don't see the error of their ways (For instance, my mom).

Types 4 and 1 tend to be the most challenging for me to relate to regardless MBTI type.
 

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THE IRON GIANT
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I agree with @Holunder and @n2freedom. I have plenty in common with the ISTJs I've interacted with in terms of the way we think and the crap we get annoyed at, but when it comes to sixes, there's a magnetism there. I've been close to sixes and really felt like we understood each other.

I think it's because enneagram types are more about the experiences that brought us to where we are, and MBTI types are more about the way we're wired to take in, process, and express information. I think shared experiences do more to help us connect.

I also relate very well to nines, and not so well to threes. Nines would be my direction of integration, and threes disintegration... I figure there's something to that.
 

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MOTM Feb 2012
ISTJ 9w1
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Discussion Starter #6
I also relate very well to nines, and not so well to threes. Nines would be my direction of integration, and threes disintegration... I figure there's something to that.
Hmm. That's an interesting theory. Good thing Nines get along with almost anyone, since we're disintegrating to hang out with you! :tongue: Nah, but actually I like basically all of the 6s I've met.

OT:
I can't decide. Though I might be tempted into saying enneagram too because my best friend throughout childhood was/is probably a 9w1 like me, although she's an ESFP. She might be a 2 instead of a 9, but in that case, then she is at least high in 9 tendencies. But of course I get along with ISTJs too, as evidenced by my neglect of almost all of PerC besides the ISTJ board.

I was thinking perhaps MBTI is more important since that is how you present yourself to the world whereas enneagram mostly just describes your motivations, thoughts, desires, and fears (things on the inside.)

Or maybe superficially MBTI is more important whereas fundamentally enneagram is more important. Hmm.

More thoughts?
 

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I just found out that my husband (ISTP) is a 6w5 on the enneagram (I have no clue about his tri type) and I'm a 6w7. I find this really interesting since we're obviously very dissimilar by MBTI standards. I don't know if this is considered good for compatibility (probably not. We're apparently psychologically crossed lovers according to every theory =P
 

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Hmm. That's an interesting theory. Good thing Nines get along with almost anyone, since we're disintegrating to hang out with you! :tongue: Nah, but actually I like basically all of the 6s I've met.

OT:
I can't decide. Though I might be tempted into saying enneagram too because my best friend throughout childhood was/is probably a 9w1 like me, although she's an ESFP. She might be a 2 instead of a 9, but in that case, then she is at least high in 9 tendencies. But of course I get along with ISTJs too, as evidenced by my neglect of almost all of PerC besides the ISTJ board.

I was thinking perhaps MBTI is more important since that is how you present yourself to the world whereas enneagram mostly just describes your motivations, thoughts, desires, and fears (things on the inside.)

Or maybe superficially MBTI is more important whereas fundamentally enneagram is more important. Hmm.

More thoughts?
I find that the enneagram, though I've relatively new to it still has helped me a lot in what motivates me (in my case fear. yay me.) So it's actually helped me more in understanding my problems and issues. MBTI is interesting to me because it's interesting to read about my skills and abilities and weaknesses, but I don't really get a sense of what to do with them as much as the enneagram seems to delve in to.
 

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MOTM Feb 2012
ISTJ 9w1
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Discussion Starter #9
MBTI is interesting to me because it's interesting to read about my skills and abilities and weaknesses, but I don't really get a sense of what to do with them as much as the enneagram seems to delve in to.
Hmm, really? (Warning: Slight derail ahead!) All I know is that reading descriptions of my enneagram type usually depresses me while reading descriptions of my MBTI type usually motivates me. Heh.
 

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I was thinking perhaps MBTI is more important since that is how you present yourself to the world whereas enneagram mostly just describes your motivations, thoughts, desires, and fears (things on the inside.)

Or maybe superficially MBTI is more important whereas fundamentally enneagram is more important. Hmm.
Relating to others of the same Enneagram type makes sense. There'd be common values and life goals.

Then again, we're likely to notice our differences the longer we interact with people (initially assumed to be similar to ourselves.) Spending a lot of time on the ISTJ board allowed me to observe some of the differences among our members. If I spent more time on the E3 board I'd probably start noticing slight dissimilarities among the different MBTI types.



I also relate very well to nines, and not so well to threes. Nines would be my direction of integration, and threes disintegration... I figure there's something to that.
Feeling a bit sad and rejected here.
I'll be in the corner sulking, thx.

:wink:
 

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Hmm, really? (Warning: Slight derail ahead!) All I know is that reading descriptions of my enneagram type usually depresses me while reading descriptions of my MBTI type usually motivates me. Heh.
Enneagram does seem to present things in a negative light compared to MBTI, so I can see how that may be the case.
 

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Enneagram does seem to present things in a negative light compared to MBTI, so I can see how that may be the case.
MBTI Enthusiast said:
Hmm, really? (Warning: Slight derail ahead!) All I know is that reading descriptions of my enneagram type usually depresses me while reading descriptions of my MBTI type usually motivates me. Heh.
I have a book entitled Wisdom of the Enneagram by Riso and Hudson. I have found it to much more informative than the information typically found on the internet. Yes, most of the information deals with what could be seen as negative and/or depressing. But, I personally want to be aware of my blind sides so that I can learn from them and grow as a human being. I find while we may not always be aware of weaknesses and think we have skillfully hidden them, others are very aware them.

I like the information in the book because it also provides information on the childhood pattern for each type. The childhood pattern information describes the tendency that they observed in childhood that have a major impact on the type's adult relationships. However, it does not create the personality type.

It is a really good book although it has a little bit of a textbook feel to it. Fear is a strong motivating factor and I am glad to be aware of what has been the underlying causes for some of my more erratic moments in life. For each type there is a section on building the strengths for each type as well.

I just find the information to be more indepth and tangible than MBTI. All that function business is great in theory but for *me* I find it very hard to translate and utilize in real life especially the introverted functions which I notice most people have a hard time putting into words. I better understand why some personality types grate my nerves to no end. Now, I just need to find a way to deal with it. Wish me luck on that one.

Also, the instinctual variants information in the book answered a truckload of questions about an ongoing internal conflict that I was aware was present within me but could not put my finger on and understand. So, whew! I am really glad that I understand what this has been about all of these years. I wish I had this information before I got married. I believe I would have married smarter.

Don't give up on it. So far, it has been the best personalized information I have found for personal transformation.
 

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Enneagram does seem to present things in a negative light compared to MBTI, so I can see how that may be the case.
Particularly the "Overly sensitive" 4s and the "Arrogant" 8s.
 

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MOTM Feb 2012
ISTJ 9w1
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Discussion Starter #16 (Edited)
@n2freedom - I just bought a book by Riso and Hudson, too, called "Personality Types: Using the Enneagram for Self-Discovery". The thing that I didn't like about that book is that they go into detail about the different stages of health for each type, but they provide minimum practical advice on how to become healthier. There was a short paragraph in there which I have concluded means, "Nines should try to accept suffering (through anxiety and other negative emotions) in order to get healthier." I don't think that's amazing advice. I'd prefer to hear little things each day that I can do to change my mindset. After all, at a certain point, Nines become afraid of change, so it's not that easy to just know our weaknesses and just change them.

@ everyone: Does anyone have a resource that gives practical tips to become healthier?
 

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I relate to both in different ways.

With other INFJs, it's awesome to see that other people in general approach and react to life the same way that I do. However, with a huge number of INFJs being E4s (which is my disintegration point), I feel a bit distant from them as well - it's like I'm missing the door to this magic place that they inhabit, and feel "off" on the rare occasions I do manage to follow them there.

As far as other E1s, there's normally a certain level of respect and understanding between us. I can't say that I've ever really been close to another E1 (friends/romance/etc.), though - we all seem to be off trying to improve our little corner of things instead.

I think both MBTI and Enneagram are important - one describes inherent patterns of perceiving and interacting with the world, and the other describes how our early environment influenced our natural tendencies (linky). In any case, both can be tools for self-understanding and personal growth - but the enneagram was definitely harder for me to get into due to it talking so plainly about faults and not just strengths.
 

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@MBTI Enthusiast, yes I can see your point. In the Widsom, there is entire section entitled Tools for Transformation giving practical advice for all types.

My best advice would be to look at the fears and weaknesses and ask yourself what skill would I need to learn to develop in this area, or what tool could I use to develop in this area. For instance, I am using meditation, journaling, and researching/implementing information of letting go of attachments to help me to stay present in the moment and to actually feel and understand what my emotions are trying to communicate to me instead of using information and other things to escape them. I hope that makes sense.

For instance in your case, if you know change is an area that presents a challenge, then I would recommend researching information on how to embrace change. Also, I think researching the type which represents your path of integration. I think for your type that would be a type 3. So, I recommend spending some time on their subforum and observing and researching information on the traits of a healthy three.

See if your library has the book to determine if you might like it better. Or, see if Wisdom of the Enneagram is on google books so that you can preview it to see if the information is what you are looking for. Please keep me posted. :D
 

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MOTM Feb 2012
ISTJ 9w1
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Discussion Starter #19
@n2freedom - I see, thank you so much. I just looked at the book on Amazon.com and I realized that is the book I have been eyeing at Borders. I will (hopefully) be buying it once the prices are cut even more for their going-out-of-business sale.

Regardless, thank you for the advice. I will try to see what I can learn from the Type 3 subforum, as well as thinking hard about what is holding me back and trying to come up with my own solutions. I think I do have a sense of what might help, but of course I've been scared or unmotivated to implement it for some reason or another. I might post another thread at some point if I come to some realizations.

Now that I have successfully derailed my own thread... everyone please continue. :tongue:
 

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I think I do have a sense of what might help, but of course I've been scared or unmotivated to implement it for some reason or another. I might post another thread at some point if I come to some realizations.
I completely understand. Change can be very intimidating. We didn't get here overnight and we won't change overnight. Take baby steps....focus on one thing and integrate changes slowly and over time it makes it much easier. :D

I typed the information about practices that help nines develop in the nines subforum...maybe you can identify something small that you can begin with....Happy Transforming!

http://personalitycafe.com/type-9-forum-peacemaker/64277-practices-help-nines-develop.html#post1561851
 
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