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Have you ever mistyped between 6 and 4?

  • I have always typed as a 6.

    Votes: 10 12.5%
  • I mistyped as a 6. My true type is 4.

    Votes: 10 12.5%
  • I have always typed as a 4.

    Votes: 9 11.3%
  • I mistyped as a 4. My true type is 6.

    Votes: 33 41.3%
  • My type is 6 or 4 but my mistype was not 6 or 4 to begin with.

    Votes: 18 22.5%

  • Total voters
    80
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Discussion Starter #1
When I first became interested in the Enneagram, sometimes I would mistype as a 4. It was until later that I realized I shared the qualities of the 6 much more than the qualities of the 4. I have a friend who is (I think) a confirmed 4 and I see a lot of the same personality traits shared between us.

Have you ever mistyped as a 4? Do you think it is common for six to mistype as a 4? What personality traits do you think are similar/contrasting?
 
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When I first became interested in the Enneagram, sometimes I would mistype as a 4. It was until later that I realized I shared the qualities of the 6 much more than the qualities of the 4. I have a friend who is (I think) a confirmed 4 and I see a lot of the same personality traits shared between us.

Have you ever mistyped as a 4? Do you think it is common for six to mistype as a 4? What personality traits do you think are similar/contrasting?
I don't have personal input either, but my partner who is a 6w7 thought me may be a 4 when he first typed. One of my siblings is a 4 and they share a lot of the same traits but their underlying motivation is clearly different. My partner also strongly relates to 1's.
 

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Thought I was a 4, but I'm a 6 and have a 1 gut fix :p

Type 6 and type 4 have a lot in common on the surface.
 

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In that thread I relate more with 4 than 6 in some aspects, but that doesn't mean I am a 4. Even if 4s think they live in their heads and even if I think they do, they obviously don't live inside their heads like cerebral types. It feels different, mainly because of the lifestyle. I think 4s feel they are not really living the moment and 6s feel they have both lifes, living in the moment and inside their heads. That doesn't mean 4s don't engage with others (feeling it is completely different from it is, however, for some 4s, it's often true). And that doesn't mean 6s are two-faced. Consider please that I'm just talking about my experience. It's enjoyable to live in our heads, but it can feel sometimes like a burden.

Additonally, 6s and 4s share similar identity issues. 4s strike for authenticity and distinction and a lot of 6s could also say they are stiking for the same. However, I think 4s could fall easily into a pit of self-deceit (portraying an unauthentic image of being distinctive) and 6s would never compromise their authenticity mainly because they are looking for a substitute of inner guidance, unless they feel endangered in others aspects of their life (disintegration to 3). 6s could also fall into a pit of self-and-others-deceit (portraying an unauthentic image of denying their lack of sense of inner guidance). So, it's normal for 6s to deny they are 6s. And lacking inner guidance also makes them easy to feel they are relating and then they are not. That inner turmoil makes us also look for our identity. It has nothing to do with others. At least, I don't want to admit it.
 

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I have an example (lol this will be conflicting)
Look to Amy Lee: at 1st you would think she is an enneagram typr 4 because of all the sadness she represents and all that depressive/dark/artistic view of life. However her dominant type is for sure 6 and not 4... Unlike 4s, 6s want to feel as normal as possible (cause that is how they want to be accepted by society... they don't want to bypass the idea of normal)... While 4s want to be different and that is what makes them insecure - cause they will tend to feel rejected.
Amy Lee (although she may looks as a 4... depressive and moody and emotional) she is a 6 cause she is always looking to test the others around her and always questioning *am I here? Do i belong here?* in a 6 way (they expect the same loyalty from others)
 

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I thought I was a four for years, but am definitely a six (Even though I still come out as a four in some online tests...)

From my experience, the fundamental difference is,as others have said, fours seek to be different and unique whereas sixes don't. I also believe that fours are more inclined towards depression, whereas sixes are more inclined towards anxiety. There is a huge difference, when you think about it. Fours are also generally introverted, whereas there is no generalisation in terms of introversion/extroversion regarding sixes. Sixes in fact often classify themselves as ambiverts.
 

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6w7 and 4w3 is a common mix-up. I can also see where some 4w5 might show traits of 6w5.

I also found when I read 6w7 sx/so that people of this instinct stacking can seem especially 4-like in some regards.

I agree with @rapturedlight about the ambiversion (I am one of those ambiverted freakin' weirdos) and also channeling depression into anxiety rather than accepting depression, which I think a 4 might be more inclined to do. Depression seems like failure to me, so I plow through it and act like an asshole instead, getting irritable, having panic attacks, and having trouble sleeping. I'm one of those "actively depressed" people who show emotion (tears, anger, etc.) and push myself to do things ... why? Out of anxiety that I might miss life by being depressed. I've always had this inner "push." They say enneagram may be totally to do with how you were raised, so maybe that's my xSTJ upbringing in me, giving me that 6 anxious push that won't let me lie down and be depressed in a passive or remote way (I don't lose appetite, it increases; I don't sleep more, I sleep less; I feel nervous and irritable; I may actually come across as lazy or accomplishing little in the way of being productive, but you bet your ass that I'm not just lying in bed staring in the wall planning my death, either...)

I'm an odd depressed person, people who have active depression tend to be more of a pain in the ass to others I think; on the other hand, people who give in to their depression and truly do nothing...maybe 4 and 9 IxFPs are more like this...piss me off; and I can even be snappy toward them, trying to put my foot up their ass, projecting my inferior Te on to them, because something about passive or "flat" emotionless depression is terrifying to me, and I don't want to be that, so I try to push others out of it.

So yeah, I'm pretty sure my core issue is anxiety and reactivity.

4 is my heart fix, though.

Note: I'm not depressed at the moment, sorry to communicate improperly if it seemed so, but it's actually an illness I've struggled with and taken medication for, so I have a lot of experience in the past with how I experience depression/anxiety.
 

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I subscribe to the notion that mental types(5,6,7) revolve around fear and anxiety, feeling types(2,3,4) revolve around shame or guilt, and gut types(8,9,1) revolve around a central theme of anger. I've read into the Enneagram and it makes sense to me but I hope it helps with your self-discovery.
 

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I have realized that 6s maybe think they're 4s because we crave to be different from others too, but it's mainly because we're relating types. In someway, we're running away from it. Running away from normalcy. We feel it's going to catch us. We would not be so focused in our identities if we were not so afraid of losing or not finding them. It's not necessarily triggered by something else. There's no point in speculating about our motives, even if we're good at speculating. We're not trying to discover ourselves because we're feeling we're going to lose independence or power of decision. It's párt of being a human, the process of self-discovery. The problem is that our minds are so restless and noisy. We almost beg them to stop running sometimes. I think 4s do not crave to be different; they already feel they are and that's where the shame come from. The correct word here is being deffective instead of being different. 4s feel that because they feel they lack something others have. They feel sepparated from the idea of a common origin. 4s build up a self-esteem defense mechanism that makes them highlight the way they differ even more, because they find validation in it, but they can fall down easily in a hole of self-pity and vanity. They are image types. It's in their blood. In our blood is madness. Of uncontrollable generation of ideas, contradicting each other, making us lose guidance. Guidance for me is acting and feeling in present time. We substitute guidance with a crazy generation of ideas in both ways, inside and outside. This generation of ideas makes us feel a lot of anxiety. I'm talking obviously about unhealthy levels. I think 6s will understand me here. It's really difficult to put it into words. That feeling of 6s' vice. In fact, we feel though thinking. At least, that's the way I'm experiencing it. Maybe we think we're feeling shame, when we're not.
 

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6w7 and 4w3 is a common mix-up. I can also see where some 4w5 might show traits of 6w5.

I also found when I read 6w7 sx/so that people of this instinct stacking can seem especially 4-like in some regards.

I agree with @rapturedlight about the ambiversion (I am one of those ambiverted freakin' weirdos) and also channeling depression into anxiety rather than accepting depression, which I think a 4 might be more inclined to do. Depression seems like failure to me, so I plow through it and act like an asshole instead, getting irritable, having panic attacks, and having trouble sleeping. I'm one of those "actively depressed" people who show emotion (tears, anger, etc.) and push myself to do things ... why? Out of anxiety that I might miss life by being depressed. I've always had this inner "push." They say enneagram may be totally to do with how you were raised, so maybe that's my xSTJ upbringing in me, giving me that 6 anxious push that won't let me lie down and be depressed in a passive or remote way (I don't lose appetite, it increases; I don't sleep more, I sleep less; I feel nervous and irritable; I may actually come across as lazy or accomplishing little in the way of being productive, but you bet your ass that I'm not just lying in bed staring in the wall planning my death, either...)

I'm an odd depressed person, people who have active depression tend to be more of a pain in the ass to others I think; on the other hand, people who give in to their depression and truly do nothing...maybe 4 and 9 IxFPs are more like this...piss me off; and I can even be snappy toward them, trying to put my foot up their ass, projecting my inferior Te on to them, because something about passive or "flat" emotionless depression is terrifying to me, and I don't want to be that, so I try to push others out of it.

So yeah, I'm pretty sure my core issue is anxiety and reactivity.

4 is my heart fix, though.

Note: I'm not depressed at the moment, sorry to communicate improperly if it seemed so, but it's actually an illness I've struggled with and taken medication for, so I have a lot of experience in the past with how I experience depression/anxiety.
Don't you think what you are writing about is more of a 6w7-thing? My first reaction is also to "escape", but I give up on that fairly quickly and just embrace the pain instead. I've also medicated for it, but it increased the frequency of swings between what you describe and the opposite, altering between low and high energy, both probably equally driven by anxiety. My psychologist seems to consider it as possibly being Borderline Personality Disorder, but I'm not sure and tend to consider it being explainable by ADD (and/or possibly rapid cycling cyclothymia/bipolar II). I'm currently on mood stabilizers that are working great though. 4-fix heart here as well.
 

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I have an example (lol this will be conflicting)
Look to Amy Lee: at 1st you would think she is an enneagram typr 4 because of all the sadness she represents and all that depressive/dark/artistic view of life. However her dominant type is for sure 6 and not 4... Unlike 4s, 6s want to feel as normal as possible (cause that is how they want to be accepted by society... they don't want to bypass the idea of normal)... While 4s want to be different and that is what makes them insecure - cause they will tend to feel rejected.
Amy Lee (although she may looks as a 4... depressive and moody and emotional) she is a 6 cause she is always looking to test the others around her and always questioning *am I here? Do i belong here?* in a 6 way (they expect the same loyalty from others)
I thought I was a four for years, but am definitely a six (Even though I still come out as a four in some online tests...)

From my experience, the fundamental difference is,as others have said, fours seek to be different and unique whereas sixes don't. I also believe that fours are more inclined towards depression, whereas sixes are more inclined towards anxiety. There is a huge difference, when you think about it. Fours are also generally introverted, whereas there is no generalisation in terms of introversion/extroversion regarding sixes. Sixes in fact often classify themselves as ambiverts.
Would you say that 6s specifically don't want to be unique, and strive to fit in / be more like others, whereas 4s want to be different and unique, or is it more that 6s don't care about being different or unique- it's irrelevant to them?
 

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Would you say that 6s specifically don't want to be unique, and strive to fit in / be more like others, whereas 4s want to be different and unique, or is it more that 6s don't care about being different or unique- it's irrelevant to them?
If I may butt in? It's an interesting question.

I'd say the "fitting in" depends on the 6, though stereotype says none can handle not being part of the crowd. Phobic 6s will be more likely to strive to "fit in," while CP 6s won't do so as much. SOC-first 6s will bounce between the two extremes or pick one (since SOC can be counter-social), while SOC-last 6s probably just don't care about it as much. 4-fixed 6s will be more likely to hold onto what makes them unique, and (in my experience) 4w3-fixers will be more, um, showy about it than 4w5-fixers.

Myself, as a mostly-phobic SOC-last 4w5-fixer, I find myself disliking the way I naturally stand out, yet I don't like being part of the crowd. I guess I try to be "safe" while being as much me as possible. I don't see the point of striving to be different and I see it as a shame to be someone other than yourself. There's certainly a sense of security to fit in at times and I admit I've done so, but I feel horrible every time I "compromise" my self and afterwards analyze the scenario in an attempt to figure out how to avoid significant compromising again. It's only recently that these learning experiences have built up to a point where I feel confident enough to say that it happens rather infrequently.
 

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If I may butt in? It's an interesting question.
Actually thank you .. it's not butting it at all.. it's helpful =)

I'm trying to understand 6's better... I know that my brother is a Phobic 6, and he sometimes asks me if his outfit looks 'weird' or if his haircut looks 'normal' - this is baffling to me! Is there 'one standard' for normal? =)

I'd say the "fitting in" depends on the 6, though stereotype says none can handle not being part of the crowd. Phobic 6s will be more likely to strive to "fit in," while CP 6s won't do so as much. SOC-first 6s will bounce between the two extremes or pick one (since SOC can be counter-social), while SOC-last 6s probably just don't care about it as much. 4-fixed 6s will be more likely to hold onto what makes them unique, and (in my experience) 4w3-fixers will be more, um, showy about it than 4w5-fixers.

Myself, as a mostly-phobic SOC-last 4w5-fixer, I find myself disliking the way I naturally stand out, yet I don't like being part of the crowd. I guess I try to be "safe" while being as much me as possible. I don't see the point of striving to be different and I see it as a shame to be someone other than yourself. There's certainly a sense of security to fit in at times and I admit I've done so, but I feel horrible every time I "compromise" my self and afterwards analyze the scenario in an attempt to figure out how to avoid significant compromising again. It's only recently that these learning experiences have built up to a point where I feel confident enough to say that it happens rather infrequently.
Ahh, I see - so fitting in, is it about being safe? As in, you want to fit in so you won't subject yourself to ridicule and you'll then feel secure? But as long as you feel safe, like you won't be mocked , then you will express yourself more?

What is it that makes you feel unsafe doing this?

Also congrats on building up that confidence ^ =D
 

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I'm trying to understand 6's better... I know that my brother is a Phobic 6, and he sometimes asks me if his outfit looks 'weird' or if his haircut looks 'normal' - this is baffling to me! Is there 'one standard' for normal? =)
I can relate to this. I used to do that when I was in school. I didn't want to look "weird" any more than I wanted to look flashy or to look in any way that would draw attention to myself. For me the object was not to fit in, but rather to blend in, like a spy. It's not that I wanted to be part of any in-crowd; I just wanted to avoid calling attention to myself due to shyness and not wanting to interact with most people (I was both socially phobic and socially anhedonic). I wanted to go unnoticed, to be invisible. But the more you visually stand out, the more likely it is someone is going to notice you and want to interact with you; it's also the more likely someone will ridicule or bully you, and that's something I didn't want to deal with.
 

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How does doubt manifest in each type?
6s doubt their thinking (in the popularly described manner)
4s doubt their feelings (because their emotions are fluid, their identities are fluid; they "don't have the most stable groundwork")
9s doubt their own position (In a sense, their right to exist)

All types are capable of doubt, but these types tend to fall back on it more consistently.
 
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