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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hi,

I am trying to understand my ENTJ friends better.

How do people think ENFJs and ENTJs differ (please be nice)?
How do people thin ENFJs and ENTJs can bring out the best/worst in each other?

Thanks :)
 

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I'm very curious about this too! Since you are an ENFJ and my official test has me as an ENTJ ... perhaps we can try exchanging methods of figuring it out together? Granted, I am new here but I'd love to learn about the qualities you have that make you certain that you are an ENFJ.

IMO, ENFJs tend to teach me how to be better at listening to people. To simply sit there and explore another person's views, beliefs, ideas, and idiosyncrasies is interesting to me because it helps me learn about the other person. I hear though, that an ENFJ would try to bring out the best in the other person ...?

Rather, I personally love to find the best in the other person so that I can learn as much about them in order to 1) have a mental list of things to talk about with them because I suck at social interactions that are not business-related and 2) to figure out how useful they are to me in my personal goals/endeavours

I'm not sure I'm an ENTJ though but that's my 2 cents!
 

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I like ENTJ, they are so easy to get along with - as long as you do not let them steamroll you into their way of thinking. They can be pretty overwhelming, so sure that theirs is the right way. And within 5 minutes they will have you convinced, too. Stand your ground and most of them will respect you, crumble, and they will walk right over you.

But you do not have to weigh every word in order not to hurt them and they will be very clear about their likes and dislikes, like an open book. I find this very relaxing, especially knowing how feelers like me can take everything intensely personally, so with other feelers there is a danger of dancing around each other, so as not to step on any toes. With an ENTJ it is more like a march - all toes out of the way and the direction is very clear. Just be carefull that you like where you are marched to.
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Hi NuTella,

I am new to this also. So I would love to explore the differences between people, and this is a type which I am particularily interested in as I work with many ENTJ's so i am trying to understand them better.

I like the idea of exploring together ! :)
 

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I like ENTJ, they are so easy to get along with - as long as you do not let them steamroll you into their way of thinking. They can be pretty overwhelming, so sure that theirs is the right way. And within 5 minutes they will have you convinced, too. Stand your ground and most of them will respect you, crumble, and they will walk right over you.

But you do not have to weigh every word in order not to hurt them and they will be very clear about their likes and dislikes, like an open book. I find this very relaxing, especially knowing how feelers like me can take everything intensely personally, so with other feelers there is a danger of dancing around each other, so as not to step on any toes. With an ENTJ it is more like a march - all toes out of the way and the direction is very clear. Just be carefull that you like where you are marched to.
I have two ENTJ male friends and I have to say that I agree with your description, I think it's pretty accurate. I've never been afraid to be opinionated with an ENTJ since they rather enjoy it. I find them refreshing.....little ambiguity, no wasting time, and their Ni makes communication fairly easy.
 

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I worked with an ENTJ in graduate school and we were the best team to get projects done. At the beginning, we had very intensive fights over ideas/plans. Then he probably figured out to make sure that I didn't take his comments personally and remind me about that, in order to continue our discussion. I learnt not to take work related discussion personally! Years afterward, I am a better thinker now (if I think about my preference at work instead of at home and do personality test, I can actually get ENTJ out of me!) It is great ability to have. I agree, our shared intuition makes our communication about ideas very easy.

ENTJ does like to boss others around. After a while, I realize that is not deliberately to be mean, just their way to make sure works getting done, especially when they are stressed. I think ENFJ may not like this at the beginning. For me, once I get to know this person, I actually can be humor about it and be chill, then actually make him relax some.
 

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I have encountered a co-worker in several training classes that I have interacted with very easily. Just discovered on yesterday during training he is an ENFJ.

He is very easy to talk to. Thoughtful and attentive in a very personable but not intruding kind of way. I really enjoyed interacting with him. I must find more of ENFJs to interact with. I think you guys are pretty darn cool. ;)
 

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I get ENTJ and ENFJ results each time I take tests, so at first I was so confused. Both were pretty accurate for me and like I said, I don't doubt I used to be an ENTJ and lived most of my life as of yet as an ENTJ. Though there are changes from me before and me now, I don't think I've changed a whole lot. I learned to relax a little and be more empathetic with people.

Not that ENTJs aren't empathetic. I was just very detached then and pretty ruthless. I got what I wanted no matter how I got it, I just needed to get it. Now, not so.

My first college best friend is an ENTJ. LOL. She is so completely not like my old self and we got along very fast. She loves people enough to tell them frankly what was wrong with them, but is sensitive enough to know what'll hurt people and would keep quiet if she knows it'll hurt them more than she intend to. I just said things and didn't care. I loved people before too, but I kept a distance because I didn't think a lot of people shared the same views as I did.

She's pretty lax and sometimes I get scared for her. She literally does her essays 10 minutes before the class starts, but she gets fair marks, higher than mine sometimes. She's also the ONLY person other than my mom and a certain INTJ that can disprove my theories. I am flattered that she calls me smart because she is very smart, though unlike me, she doesn't find extreme interest in academics. Her defense: We're in art school, we don't need a lot of the basic subjects to survive in the art world, just life skills.

She is VERY business minded. And being business minded myself, we get to talk hours and hours about potential businesses. Although, she's much more interested in talking about boys, our friends and just plain gossip. Something I don't expect most of ENTJs, but she really wants to get to know more about people and strives to do that every day. She admits it's hard for her to read people, but I think she's very in-tune with people; but I do understand her want to be sure that what she's thinking is positive. It's a trait I really love about her. It's also fun when we talk about businesses. She tells me how it's going to be run and what is essentially needed while I go about saying who fits the criteria she provided and how we can successfully market it to the audience. If we did run a business, I highly believe it's going to be successful. Our objectives are always the same, but we prioritize different things. I think that's very important in a business. Just that, she likes the ideas, but she holds tightly to her dreams and wants to fulfill those more than our small business talks. XD

What I find similar with her and I is our grasp in our beliefs and dreams. I will never let go of working for Disney as an animator or running my own game; she dreams to move back to China (her roots are Chinese, but she barely speaks the language, whatever branch she is) and be a Photographer. Even when we had so many ideas about small businesses we can run, we will never let go of what we had planned on. Seeing that these are two very different things, we simply use the business talks as a leisure moment between us.

She also always smiles and gives off a very warm personality to people. Something I myself didn't have before. But I do admit, she is very intimidating and her personality is very strong that even I get to step-down from my own throne. LOL. She loves being the center of attention, but barely wants to be the leader. I end up being the leader and she finds her way to manipulate me with her logical, flowery words.

Though, everyone loves her for her very painful jokes and her extroversion. She's really outgoing and every time she talks to you, you can just feel her warmth and trust with you. She's very open with her thoughts and experiences, but is very reserved with what she feels. Another trait we share. Also, when she's with friends, she barely makes friends with other people. Sometimes she even looks like a snob. Especially since she's a very pretty petite girl. She'd literally roll her eyes to people when she doesn't like them and walk out like a diva. XD It's really hilarious and adorable, if I may say. I don't know, she's probably my favorite person to hang out with. XD

ENTJs and ENFJs aren't THAT far from each other. Sure F/T are two traits that work differently, but we have to realize that it's only a preference to what a person believes in. It doesn't mean that they don't share the same principles or values; some approaches on things are very different, though not completely different. This particular ENTJ doesn't always seem to make logical decisions, but whatever she decides on, she makes sure she can handle the aftermath of it. Also, this particular ENTJ values other peoples feelings and sometimes get swayed by it, but in the end, she gets so frustrated and so mad that she claims to be "weak" to succumb to such thing.

I actually used to think she was an ENFJ because of our very similar interests and ideals, but when we got to know more about each other, I could see that she does things very differently from me and those approaches reminded me of my previous self. True enough, when she took the test, she got ENTJ. It's easy to get along with ENTJs, just know what they value and find common ground. Which isn't even difficult to find. XD
 
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