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Discussion Starter #1
Alight, so this is a rant more than anything, but it's also a place to get some advice and opinions on this matter. I'm not out here to bash on ENTJ's in general. I have an awesome friend whom I regularly play chess with that is an ENTJ. He's the only guy I know who can bash me more than I bash on him. I have another ENTJ friend whom is incredibly successful financially and we chat at the local pub about every other day on a wide variety of topics. They're both awesome.

So here's the issue. My brother is being an idiot. He's a rather unsuccessful ENTJ, and it's tearing him apart. The guy is quite intelligent, but has been a bit foolish in his life so far. Our parents run companies, which has afforded us the time to sit around and not do much. He got married selling a story that he was successful, and he simply worked on the side for paps. Paps company isn't doing so well, and . . . he's getting divorced. The guy spent his time mostly skydiving (he's a pro), and playing world of warcraft. Yes, he's ranked number 46 in the world as a mage, but c'mon now. . . I'm superb at video games and gave that junk up like a decade ago. There's far too much going on in the world to be doing stupid things that are meaningless, IMO.

Now the house got sold, he's signed the divorce papers, and has been at the 'rents castle for the last 2-3 months feeling like shit. I've tried to stay out of his way, as I know my emotional support would be subpar as an ENTP (might actually be ENFP). I can give practical advice, but sympathy is nearly non-existent. Empathy, through the rough, but not much else.

He keeps saying stupid things. It's like he finds the need to put me down to feel he's not a complete and utter loser. I keep just wanting to walk away, but it's becoming too much. So I'm calling him out, and he's left with not a damned reasonable thing left in return... so the frequency of these stupid things continues. He's basically trying to order my life, when it's his that is spiraling out of control. I'm good. Have goals, am hitting subgoal-metrics, diversified my options for the next year, and enjoying life, but damned if he's not trying to spread his hell my way.

Is this normal for ENTJ's in a rut? Do they turn into bullies if they don't feel that their life is in their control? I hear him say things like, "great men are always in control of their lives until the end", and I can't help but think how idiotic and denial-ridden such a statement is. In my mind, absolute control is like absolute freedom. . . but a figment of our EGO. It's a push/pull between personal control, and shit outside of it, always. He seems to be trying to absolute his way through life, and it just causes him more suffering and unconsciousness. Does this even get through to you guys?

Maybe I just need to stay out of his way for a half year or so. I have my buttons that he knows how to push. Other ENTJ's don't phase me. I have many coping mechanisms and outright aggressive tactics if need be, but my brother is someone that I really want to connect with and respect, and these idiocies are really getting under my skin.

Suggestions? Just suck it up, and let the weak man be? I sure as hell hope he gets through it.
 

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Your title to this post was probably enough to make these "Judgers" decide that you're an ass in the very instant they read it. Not a good title choice if you want their advice, haha!
 

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Chatterbox, MOTM August 2013
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Discussion Starter #5
Ah, c'mon. I outright said in the first paragraph that I usually respect y'all, but have an issue with one. You're gonna be that judgmental off the bat? Freaking ridiculous.
 

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Discussion Starter #7
I didn't mean they are judgmental when I said "Judgers", I was referring to their type...very decisive. They decide first and then explore it further if necessary...Te Ni.
judg·men·tal/jəjˈmentl/
Adjective:

  1. Of or concerning the use of judgment.
  2. Having or displaying an excessively critical point of view.
I fail to see the difference.
 

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Discussion Starter #9
I tend to tie the word judgmental with "holier than thou" attitude or looking down on others. I just wanted to make it clear that I wasn't referring to that use of the term...I was referring to the judging function.
I notice people tend to misunderstand words like this these days. I wonder why this has come to be ??! Thanks for the clarification!
 

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I notice people tend to misunderstand words like this these days. I wonder why this has come to be ??! Thanks for the clarification!
In my experience people "misunderstand" words like this when it's convenient for them to do so, like when they are trying to prove a point or make a case.
 

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Discussion Starter #11
In my experience people "misunderstand" words like this when it's convenient for them to do so, like when they are trying to prove a point or make a case.

So essentially, it's just passive-aggression. I think this may explain the origin of certain convolutions of words meanings over time, but think it's more of a blind acceptance as time passes in many instances. People are simply too lazy to think it out, and realize it doesn't make much sense anymore, yet it's accepted...so it's really just transforming, as the true definition of a word seems less to do with what webster says, rather what the culture has accepted.

Maybe the fact that I chunked my tele 7 years ago has to do with being a bit culturally retarded, at this point. Not sure.
 

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So essentially, it's just passive-aggression. I think this may explain the origin of certain convolutions of words meanings over time, but think it's more of a blind acceptance as time passes in many instances. People are simply too lazy to think it out, and realize it doesn't make much sense anymore, yet it's accepted...so it's really just transforming, as the true definition of a word seems less to do with what webster says, rather what the culture has accepted.

Maybe the fact that I chunked my tele 7 years ago has to do with being a bit culturally retarded, at this point. Not sure.
It is assumed that when we are on a personality forum it is common knowlegde that when someone says "judgers" they are referring to cognitive functions.
 

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Discussion Starter #13
It is assumed that when we are on a personality forum it is common knowlegde that when someone says "judgers" they are referring to cognitive functions.
I'm sorry, but what does that have to do with ANYTHING that has been written in this thread ??

First off, when I said, "judgmental" I was referring to the comment above my post, obviously.

I choose to be nice to the individual who erroneously thought I mistook her use of the word, "judging" as "judgmental".

I think went on to try and tie things together by saying that they don't really have a different meaning, anyways.

You seem to have came in and confused all sorts of things, to make...a point that didn't need to be made.

LOL!
 

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ENTP = the jet
ENTJ = the missiles


I love a good air show. :crazy:
 

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Suggestion: he's probably also a disintegrated enneagram type. If you can think back to a time when he was his normal self, you might be able to guess his enneagram type and then figure out how he has disintegrated and then figure out what he needs to become integrated again and get his life on track.

Hm. Telling him his actions are wrong might be heading down the inferior Fi path and hence why he is stubbornly defending his Se-Fi with his Te-Ni generalizations. Going slowly and gently with Fi might help him restabilize and get his life priorities in order.
 

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Why is it that every time an xNTP starts a thread like this, the intent or meaning behind words becomes an issue...is it Ti?
*read this in a completely neutral and gentle voice.*

You're the one who started the discussion on the meaning of words... basically you are causing the effect that you are seeing.

This thread has been quite amusing so far. The amount of misunderstandings and conflict in here is quite impressive. I don't mean to stir the pot any more than it has already been, although my 9 side is itching to clear up all the misunderstandings. Hope the rest of the thread goes well, I'm out of here.
 

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*read this in a completely neutral and gentle voice.*

You're the one who started the discussion on the meaning of words... basically you are causing the effect that you are seeing.

This thread has been quite amusing so far. The amount of misunderstandings and conflict in here is quite impressive. I don't mean to stir the pot any more than it has already been, although my 9 side is itching to clear up all the misunderstandings. Hope the rest of the thread goes well, I'm out of here.
Nice try. I responded to OP using the word "judgmental". The intent behind his use of that word was to cause exactly what it did, but because his thinking is subjective, he will argue that point, and it's not worth my time.
 
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