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Discussion Starter #1
What do you ENFJ's think about being in a relationship with an ENTJ?

Are there any famous ENFJ-ENTJ couples I might know?
 
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Seems to me like both ENTJ's and ENFJ's like to be in control of their surroundings. This would probably cause some conflict but I think we would work past it ok.
 

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You and your postings about ENFJ/ENTJs.... You must really love your ENFJ :) <3

Actually, I think it is an interesting match because you both share the same way of processing information but for two entirely different ends. Well, maybe not entirely... you seem to be a nice ENTJ :)

I think that the conflict comes when making decisions. ENTJs are very logical and practical and will not factor how they feel (or how others feel) into the decision. They look at the end goal and the end seems to justify the means in a lot of cases. ENFJs make decisions based on feelings and can't understand impersonal judgement. They are concerned with the process and not just the end result. The end does not justify the means for the ENFJ.

I have a friend ENTJ who is a manager. She can't make decisions based on others feelings because she has to focus on the end result. It isn't even a problem for her as she isn't sensitive to the mood in the room and can execute decisions with precision and speed. She has a good skin and needs it for her job. Her lack of sensitivity is both a blessing and curse. She sometimes wishes she could understand others feelings more, but to be super sensitive could also jeopardize her effectiveness as a manager because she must tell people what to do without regret.

We don't understand each other a lot of the time but we respect each other and value our differences.
 

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Discussion Starter #4
You and your postings about ENFJ/ENTJs.... You must really love your ENFJ :) <3

Actually, I think it is an interesting match because you both share the same way of processing information but for two entirely different ends. Well, maybe not entirely... you seem to be a nice ENTJ :)

I think that the conflict comes when making decisions. ENTJs are very logical and practical and will not factor how they feel (or how others feel) into the decision. They look at the end goal and the end seems to justify the means in a lot of cases. ENFJs make decisions based on feelings and can't understand impersonal judgement. They are concerned with the process and not just the end result. The end does not justify the means for the ENFJ.

I have a friend ENTJ who is a manager. She can't make decisions based on others feelings because she has to focus on the end result. It isn't even a problem for her as she isn't sensitive to the mood in the room and can execute decisions with precision and speed. She has a good skin and needs it for her job. Her lack of sensitivity is both a blessing and curse. She sometimes wishes she could understand others feelings more, but to be super sensitive could also jeopardize her effectiveness as a manager because she must tell people what to do without regret.

We don't understand each other a lot of the time but we respect each other and value our differences.
I do love her. I wish she knew that. We have an interesting friendship. I know her very well yet she does not know me very well. She truly feels like a sister to me though. I wish we were closer.

I like what you said about ENFJ's and ENTJ's sharing the same way of processing information but make decisions differently.
 

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What do you ENFJ's think about being in a relationship with an ENTJ?

Are there any famous ENFJ-ENTJ couples I might know?
Get ready for a lot of conflict, but if you're both willing to grow it can work. I can tell you now, you're going to unintentionally hurt her feelings by being direct and unemotional. She's going to not understand why you can be so cold and callous. You're not going to understand why she's so overly emotional about everything.

You're both going to have to learn to be empathetic to each other. If you hurt her feelings, own up to it and apologize, even if you don't think your actions or words warranted her getting upset. It's pointless to argue about whether or not something's worth getting upset about, and it's better to just acknowledge it happened and move on and learn from it.

Otherwise, it's pretty great. The extroverted parts of your personalities will fit like a glove. You'll both really enjoy going out and doing things, and not have a disconnect on two levels. My best suggestion is to try your hardest to be romantic, but don't try to force it. ENTJs seem to have a real hard time being romantic, or show that they're thinking of their ENFJ partner. If you can do that, and well, she'll melt in your arms I'm quite sure.
 

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Best friend is a ENTJ and we absolutely click. The only thing that rubs me the wrong way is the lack of respect sometimes for how people feel (which is a huge thing for me). Otherwise, we always have a great time hanging out and we absolutely run down the rabbit hole with our thoughts. We absolutely complement each other and really show each other absolutely different ways of seeing any situation. Sharing Extraverted Intuition is a amazing thing.
 

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my recommendation is to have fun, but also keep your cool -- which may be difficult, even if you're a typical, levelheaded ENTJ. i grew up with an ENFJ mother, live with an ENFJ roommate, and have one or two close ENFJ friends. our friendships are passionate, and we always feel a deep connection. they're the type that i want to keep in my life. however, ENTJs are rationalists and ENFJs are idealists. i've never intended to offend them, but they constantly take my actions personally; for example, my roommate might take out the garbage one day, but if i don't return the favor the next time our trash fills up, she will take a phone picture of the trashcan and send it to me when i'm at work with the tag, "seriously?!" or i if don't say "i love you" to my mom more than once a day while i'm home from college, she'll confront me about it, saying that she senses a distance between us. you may be able to tolerate this type of thing, but i find it rather trivial. the ENFJs i've known have minimal interest in MBTI, so they don't realize that their temperaments are unique to their specific type. my mom, for example, says, "you have to treat people this way. you don't treat people that way," as if her way is the only way -- which in many cases is true, as her ideals do cater to the feelings of others. if i try explaining myself from a logical 'T' perspective, it always goes haywire. so in order to calm the storm, i tend to give in and agree with them. i think ENFJs and ENTJs understand that they have serious differences, but i rarely feel that the ENFJ respects that i make decisions based on logic rather than feeling. in some ways, i think they almost take it personally that i make decisions based on logic rather than the impact on their feelings. unfortunately, my tendency to make logical decisions is innate, not deliberate. i've made a much better effort to factor in their feelings when making a decision. but i hope that my ENFJ friends and family start to respect my logical side.
 

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I have an close ENFJ friend. He gets mad at me for no reasons and we fight quite often but the frequency reduces as we learn. I guess we ENTJs have to be very careful to not to hurt ENFJs unintentionally. You might want to learn how to be calm headed when ENFJs get angry or hurt. My ENFJ friend tend to annoy me. So I'll just show him in a firm but not hurtful way that this is the line and he shall not cross it. He respects it usually. I don't know if you'll have the same problems.
 

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In theory, I think the major trouble spot might be that ENFJs, as Fe doms, might be a bit sensitive about the logic of their decision making process, very sensitive to what they might perceive as criticism to their logic, since the thinking function is inferior, whereas Te-doms tend to project a lot of logic, so it's easy for a Te-dom to come across as being critical of a Fe-dom's logical thought process when they aren't being critical at all in their minds. It kinda goes both ways, between logic and values. It can work out if both parties are really secure with themselves, but even then, you're probably going to have a bit of conflict and hurt feelings here and there.
 

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I have a very close ENTJ friend, and he's definitely hurt my feelings a few times, although I understand via his actions that he does actually care about me, even if he isn't always verbally expressive of it.

He can be sort of a jerk sometimes, but he doesn't always know he's being one....it isn't usually vindictive or anything. I admire his strong will, which in large part resembles my own.
 
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Discussion Starter #12
I have a very close ENTJ friend, and he's definitely hurt my feelings a few times, although I understand via his actions that he does actually care about me, even if he isn't always verbally expressive of it.

He can be sort of a jerk sometimes, but he doesn't always know he's being one....it isn't usually vindictive or anything. I admire his strong will, which in large part resembles my own.
So in what ways has he been a jerk sometimes?

And through what actions has he showed you that he cares about you?
 

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So in what ways has he been a jerk sometimes?

And through what actions has he showed you that he cares about you?
Well, when I've cried and tried to be sentimental with him he has completely been sarcastic and rude, albeit that was a few years ago. He's pretty self-absorbed, he doesn't naturally remember a lot of details about people (nor does he apologize for it, or most things) which makes him seem inconsiderate. He also says things that are really blunt and offensive to many individuals.

Just as one example, my ESFJ friend and I made indian costumes for a party, and he said "Hers (mine) looks good, but yours (the ESFJs) doesn't."

As far as the caring, he has taken me to Taco Bell before, even though he didn't want any. He has picked me up drunk from the bar, he has picked me up from my friend's house on a Saturday night. He's made me breakfast. When he used to like me, around two years ago, he even brought me dinner at work once.
 
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ENTJ men are the only ones I can truly see myself in a meaningful, committed relationship with. We have a magnetic pull to eachother...Ha! Even before I discovered MBTI, I had always noticed a certain type of men I was attracted to. They all of turned out to be ENTJs. I have never felt that connection with anyone else, and I think our Ni has always been the cause for that.
 

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ENTJ men are the only ones I can truly see myself in a meaningful, committed relationship with. We have a magnetic pull to eachother...Ha! Even before I discovered MBTI, I had always noticed a certain type of men I was attracted to. They all of turned out to be ENTJs. I have never felt that connection with anyone else, and I think our Ni has always been the cause for that.
It's definitely the Ni! ENFJ's are awesome :)
 

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Ever met a type 4 ENFJ? :)
We've got strong Ni and Ti.
I'm not sure. I'm not very good at figuring out people's enneagram type. I'm pretty sure I'm a 3w4 though. What is a type 4 ENFJ like?
 

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That's pretty unique for an ENTJ.

In my experience, I am more introspective than other ENFJs. I feel that my Ni is just as strong as my Fe, so sometimes I can be mistaken for an INFJ. I noticed that I don't idealize people so much, I mainly idealize life and self expression, such as dance. That is where my ENFJ passion comes out :)

As a four, I put much emphasis on being my true self, and being as unique as possible. I am also constantly feeling people out and searching for people who is on the same "wavelength" I guess you could say. That is few and far between. I have been recognized as very earthy, and eccentric. When I meet another ENFJ, I know it instantly. They seem to have strong Fe and Se, and get along better with feelers. I, however, get along much better with thinkers. (Teehee...NTJ's...*swoon*)

Us fours tend to be interested in dark films/entertainment also. Or anything that is exotic, passionate, etc.
One thing I'm not, is traditionally romantic....That is where I differ fron ALL NF's. :)

Tell me about 3w4 ENTJ's!
 

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I have two ENTJ best friends,
As long as the ENTJ is emotionally intelligent,
And the ENFJ can take criticism.

It could be a match made in heaven :)
Although I can only speak from a platonic point of view!
 

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That's pretty unique for an ENTJ.

In my experience, I am more introspective than other ENFJs. I feel that my Ni is just as strong as my Fe, so sometimes I can be mistaken for an INFJ. I noticed that I don't idealize people so much, I mainly idealize life and self expression, such as dance. That is where my ENFJ passion comes out :)

As a four, I put much emphasis on being my true self, and being as unique as possible. I am also constantly feeling people out and searching for people who is on the same "wavelength" I guess you could say. That is few and far between. I have been recognized as very earthy, and eccentric. When I meet another ENFJ, I know it instantly. They seem to have strong Fe and Se, and get along better with feelers. I, however, get along much better with thinkers. (Teehee...NTJ's...*swoon*)

Us fours tend to be interested in dark films/entertainment also. Or anything that is exotic, passionate, etc.
One thing I'm not, is traditionally romantic....That is where I differ from ALL NF's. :)

Tell me about 3w4 ENTJ's!
It is??

Connecting with people on the same "wavelength" is also very important to me. I think in my whole life I have only ever felt that three people I've known are on the same wavelength. Two of them are ENTJ's and the other an ENFJ.

Well I'm not much of an enneagram expert, but I can tell you about myself. I am very ambitious and intense. I usually dislike relaxing or being laid back or letting anything go. I like adventure and excitement and extremes. All or nothing. When I'm working, which is a lot :p, I am very cold, logical, intimidating, and confident. But feelings and emotions are a huge part of my life. I like connecting with people. But I'm not at all an outgoing person so it doesn't happen very often. The deepest connection I have is with my ENFJ friend. Long story short she has completely changed my life over the last several months. I've never in my life spent so much time in someone else's head. I took a cognitive functions test last month and actually scored higher in Fe than Te. That's how screwed up my life is right now. But it's getting better.

Even compared to the other ENTJ's I know I set very big goals and always find a way to reach them. I think this is party due to how disconnected I have always been from everything and everyone in my life. I'm not sure which came first, my ambition, my disconnectedness, or my feeling like no one in my life is one the same wavelength. Any one of the three could cause the other two. Or maybe something else caused all of it.
 
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