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I've been talking to an ENTJ guy for a few weeks, and I'm not exactly sure how he feels about me.

We met at this barbecue at my college the first week of school, and I'm 95% sure he's an ENTJ. I didn't know anyone, so I sat down next to him and we started talking instantly. He told me that he's a senior at a nearby college and that he's majoring in Psychology and Criminal Justice. We made casual conversation for twenty minutes or so, then he told me that he was going to Barnes & Noble and invited me to go with him. We sat in B&N for a few hours, just talking and getting to know each other. It was a really nice conversation, surprisingly intense considering we'd just met. We really clicked. At one point, he said something under his breath, so I asked him what he'd said. "Just that you have a cute face." He smirked when he saw my reaction and explained that it was a test to see whether I was attracted to him. "As soon as I said it, your face turned bright red, you looked down because you couldn't maintain eye contact with me, and your shoulders loosened up. You definitely find me attractive." We kept talking, and when it got dark he said he'd cook me dinner back at his apartment. Two days later, he took me out to lunch at a Vietnamese restaurant because he remembered that I like pho.

We've been hanging out like that since, usually about twice a week. I go over to his apartment and we just chill and watch Netflix or YouTube videos. We'll lie on his floor or, more recently, in his bed, but nothing happens between us. He knows that I'm deeply religious and am saving myself for marriage. He's had plenty of sexual experience, but the last girl he dated was religious like me, and they were together eight months without having sex. He says that I remind him of his ex a lot. We've both acknowledged mutual attraction, but he hasn't so much as tried to kiss me. He likes to wrestle and tickle me a lot, though, and we cuddle. I'm trying to show affection in subtle ways to gauge his level of interest. He went to France a few weeks ago, and though he's not religious, he seemed really flattered when I told him that I'd been praying Rosaries for him in his absence. I curl up to him while we watch movies, and he says he thinks it's "cute that I like to be close to him." He's kind of condescending toward me, in a wiser-than-thou way. He makes our three-year age gap feel so much wider.


I think he's interested in me, and my best friend swears he is, but I have my concerns. As attentive and personable as he is to me, could he actually take interest in a quiet freshman virgin? He's a handsome guy with money and charisma. He has a lot of female friends, apparently, and they all find him attractive, so it's not like he doesn't have options. Am I just another side hoe? Also, sometimes I go a few days without hearing from him.

Gut feeling tells me he definitely cares about me. He's going out of his way to help me with my research paper. He's mentioned making plans to go places with me as far from now as spring break, and he gives me advice often. Part of me wants to think that he's protective of me like an older brother, but the cuddling, the sexually charged flirt-teasing...it seems indicative of romantic feelings.

I guess what I want to know is, does this sound like an ENTJ male's behavior toward a female of interest? What attracts an ENTJ, and what are giveaways that he's interested in me romantically? If he is, why won't he make a move?
 

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He likes to wrestle and tickle me a lot, though, and we cuddle.
When I was late teens/early 20's, yeah... wrestling was one of those hidden keys to the kingdom, heh. Not that I'd do anything about it, mind you... just suppress it with a mailed fist and wait for it to pass, and it eventually would in a few months, but...

I'm trying to show affection in subtle ways to gauge his level of interest. He went to France a few weeks ago, and though he's not religious, he seemed really flattered when I told him that I'd been praying Rosaries for him in his absence. I curl up to him while we watch movies, and he says he thinks it's "cute that I like to be close to him." He's kind of condescending toward me, in a wiser-than-thou way. He makes our three-year age gap feel so much wider.
I'm drunk, so don't expect diplomacy right now. (Hell, spelling and grammar is taking a LOT of concentration.) But you guys, you come off as ... as lils to us. Yes. See, your Fi reminds us of our own, and our own is very lil and fragile, right? Bottom of the conscious stack, the hidden Achilles heel in the juggernaut... hehehe.

Anyhow, so we generalize the state of our own Fi outwards, and tend to think you are lil and fragile, whether it is true or not. It might come across as patronizing or condescending, but... it is not meant in a derogatory way, seriously, it isn't.

Ok, that last sentence makes fuck all by the way of sense. But it is true, nonetheless. I guess what I'm saying is, it's part of how we are wired. It's because of something within us, not because there's something "wrong" with you. So don't feel bad for it, ok?

I think he's interested in me, and my best friend swears he is, but I have my concerns. As attentive and personable as he is to me, could he actually take interest in a quiet freshman virgin? He's a handsome guy with money and charisma. He has a lot of female friends, apparently, and they all find him attractive, so it's not like he doesn't have options. Am I just another side hoe? Also, sometimes I go a few days without hearing from him.
You want the god's honest truth? Given how I've seen the males of my type go nuts over the INFP female, I'd say he is. It's... oh hell, this isn't maybe nice, but I'll say it. Think of evil overlords, right? When they set out to mate, do they go after the Dark Queen who rules the next kingdom over? Or the evil witch who rules the wildlands? Fuck no, they go after the innocent young lovely, now don't they? The princess of the light... haha, that is precisely what they want and are most attracted to. Her idealism echoes the ray of light that runs through the darkness of his own nature, just like what darkness she has (not much, but everyone has at least some) is echoed by a much stronger variant of same within him. You each mirror the other, on a very deep level.

Gut feeling tells me he definitely cares about me. He's going out of his way to help me with my research paper. He's mentioned making plans to go places with me as far from now as spring break, and he gives me advice often. Part of me wants to think that he's protective of me like an older brother, but the cuddling, the sexually charged flirt-teasing...it seems indicative of romantic feelings.

I guess what I want to know is, does this sound like an ENTJ male's behavior toward a female of interest? What attracts an ENTJ, and what are giveaways that he's interested in me romantically? If he is, why won't he make a move?
He will not make a move of that nature because you have indicated you are ... erm, how to put this... interested in remaining the simon-pure virgin. I mean, sure, I daresay there is very much a part of him who would like nothing better than to sweep you up, throw you on the bed, and determinedly have his way with you, but ... not unwilling, yes? That would be Wrong. He would not want to do that.
 

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Think of evil overlords, right? When they set out to mate, do they go after the Dark Queen who rules the next kingdom over? Or the evil witch who rules the wildlands? Fuck no, they go after the innocent young lovely, now don't they? The princess of the light... haha, that is precisely what they want and are most attracted to. Her idealism echoes the ray of light that runs through the darkness of his own nature, just like what darkness she has (not much, but everyone has at least some) is echoed by a much stronger variant of same within him. You each mirror the other, on a very deep level.
That was worth the price of admission right there. :)
 

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I went for R&D, not a princess... well, prince in my case... of the light. My INTP is asleep upstairs right now.

I said I might roam the streets and look for fights to get into. He was not amused, haha. Bah. Sense of humor needs work imo, he even thinks Doonsbury is funny, and what the fuck do you even say to that? Doesn't laugh at toilet jokes usually either, which sucks royally in my book. I mean, how can you not think shit jokes are funny?

... I like sitting down. Sitting down is the best. Because when I sit down, the bastards are lazier about tilting the world on me. If I stand up, they really get some umption in their gumption, you know? Must be ISTJs or something.... all Duty and Responsibility, hah.

Bastards. Great minions, don't get me wrong, but I couldn't imagine being married to one of those.

Sorry BossyPants, if you read this. But seriously, I couldn't imagine being married to an ISTJ.

I work with an ISTJ. I think for fun, he files his taxes and cleans out his closets. And golf. He's quite keen on golf. Hit me with a nine iron, but fuck that is boring. I mean, ok, I fish, yeah? But at least with fishing, I get a big meal of fresh fish at the end of the day. With golf, what do you get? Oh, my handicap is better? Bah. Oh, I only hit three balls into the pond this time? Double bah.

YET, ALL THINGS STRIVE.

Striving is what separates the living from the dead. Even if I think golfing is silly, I suppose it is natural to wish to be better at it, if one cares for golf at all. And besides, it is better than wishing to improve one's rate of successfully robbing liquor stores, or some bullshit like that. And anyways, it is definitely better, as robbing liquor stores is Wrong.
 

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I went for R&D, not a princess... well, prince in my case... of the light. My INTP is asleep upstairs right now.

I said I might roam the streets and look for fights to get into. He was not amused, haha. Bah. Sense of humor needs work imo, he even thinks Doonsbury is funny, and what the fuck do you even say to that? Doesn't laugh at toilet jokes usually either, which sucks royally in my book. I mean, how can you not think shit jokes are funny?

... I like sitting down. Sitting down is the best. Because when I sit down, the bastards are lazier about tilting the world on me. If I stand up, they really get some umption in their gumption, you know? Must be ISTJs or something.... all Duty and Responsibility, hah.

Bastards. Great minions, don't get me wrong, but I couldn't imagine being married to one of those.

Sorry BossyPants, if you read this. But seriously, I couldn't imagine being married to an ISTJ.

I work with an ISTJ. I think for fun, he files his taxes and cleans out his closets. And golf. He's quite keen on golf. Hit me with a nine iron, but fuck that is boring. I mean, ok, I fish, yeah? But at least with fishing, I get a big meal of fresh fish at the end of the day. With golf, what do you get? Oh, my handicap is better? Bah. Oh, I only hit three balls into the pond this time? Double bah.

YET, ALL THINGS STRIVE.

Striving is what separates the living from the dead. Even if I think golfing is silly, I suppose it is natural to wish to be better at it, if one cares for golf at all. And besides, it is better than wishing to improve one's rate of successfully robbing liquor stores, or some bullshit like that. And anyways, it is definitely better, as robbing liquor stores is Wrong.


:laughing:You're funny when you're drunk. Bottoms up. Cheers.

No offense taken. My experience? I've found that the whole duty/responsiblity, everything has to be perfect, right/wrong thing is more likely common in ISTJ Type 1. I think that's more what you are describing (and railing against) Hubby has ISTJ Type 1 friends. I don't get along well with them. Drunk or sober.

Hubby is a 6w5. He's not a clean out the closets, do the taxes, be judgmental, and micro-manage everything kind of guy. Way more easy-going than that. Gentle, loving, sweet, thoughtful. Funniest person I know. More of a come home at night, make sure the bills get paid, keep wife happy, you-and-me-against-the-world kind of guy. The kind of person who'll help you move or bail you out of jail when you roam the streets and get into fights. :tongue: Think: loyalty and trustworthiness, not duty and responsiblity.

It's not all wine and roses, though. Spot-on with the golf bullshit.
Hubby not only golfs, but watches it on TV. WTF is up with that?
 
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Well, you wonder WTF these INFPs expect? Bryan Adams's Everything I Do played on a pipe organ? After you'd been together for a couple years, would that get the point across?

Btw, that song is actually pretty good on a pipe organ, if you're halfway decent at playing it.

Not that I know from personal experience, or anything.

Just like I don't know from personal experience that the INTP response (sample size = 1) to this kind of 'hamming it up' ENTJ tomfoolery is to grin like crazy, but call you silly. *coughs*


It's kind of like this, although the quality of this clip leaves much to be desired, and it loses something when you have to refer to the sheet music. And it should be a lot darker in that place, without a bunch of other people around. And it's virtually required you wear black, imo.

Again, not that I have ever done this.

... what? Shh. :wink:

His mind is bizarre by my standards, as is mine to him. All that Te/Fi vs Ti/Fe stuff, I suppose. And he's a liberal to boot, even on social issues. But I couldn't imagine myself being with anyone else, even now.

The ideological sophistication mixed with the areas of primitiveness, the odd, almost childlike purity of his emotions, the shape of his mind... of what makes him... well, him. And his willingness to tolerate my own stubbornness, ranting, and raving, to display concern rather than impatience when I've not slept in forever and finally pass out, even if it is sometimes on the floor, his understanding that dark and morbid tribbles need love too.... even if their language isn't always the cleanest, and they love toilet jokes, and keep 'to do' lists as long as your leg....

:kitteh:
 

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:laughing:You're funny when you're drunk. Bottoms up. Cheers.

No offense taken. My experience? I've found that the whole duty/responsiblity, everything has to be perfect, right/wrong thing is more likely common in ISTJ Type 1. I think that's more what you are describing (and railing against) Hubby has ISTJ Type 1 friends. I don't get along well with them. Drunk or sober.
Maybe my coworker is Type 1. I'm not sure. He's so goddamn aloof and standoffish it's almost impossible to get a read on that, and his aloofness and standoffishness seem to intensify around me, in particular. Maybe he figures I'll eat him, I don't know. :p

Hubby is a 6w5. He's not a clean out the closets, do the taxes, be judgmental, and micro-manage everything kind of guy. Way more easy-going than that. Gentle, loving, sweet, thoughtful. Funniest person I know. More of a come home at night, make sure the bills get paid, keep wife happy, you-and-me-against-the-world kind of guy. The kind of person who'll help you move or bail you out of jail when you roam the streets and get into fights. :tongue: Think: loyalty and trustworthiness, not duty and responsiblity.
I'm glad for you, if he was like the ISTJ I know you'd probably want to kill him.

It's not all wine and roses, though. Spot-on with the golf bullshit.
Hubby not only golfs, but watches it on TV. WTF is up with that?
I don't know, it's the most boring sport known to man imo. Most ESTJs I've known (my father included) aren't particularly interested in it, so I have no idea what is up with their introverted brethren.
 
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