Personality Cafe banner
1 - 20 of 139 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,093 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I'm selfish, every moment of every day, I work towards bettering myself & advancing myself. Over the years, I've found that bringing people up with you, is better for you in the long run. I can adapt & be strategically/tactfully nice as a means to an end... but, by no means is it genuine. People seem to stick around & it's refreshing to have their company, I guess. I make friends with them, it's good to have social circles. I work, I study, I go to the gym & do my own thing.

Every so often... I have to engage in acts of compulsive behaviors of passion, to feel alive. Living life on the edge, doesn't always regard to women.

Carnal sex is a big one.

What's your view on women when dating/romantically?

I see women as an escape/distraction. An avenue to release my passion upon. It isn't just the sex either, experiencing their elegance & beauty is also appealing. Seeing them before & after, then seeing them losing themselves in sex, is where it really gets interesting.

My emotions don't grow towards a person easily, I need to spend time with them. They need to grow on me & I need to appreciate having them in my life over time.

Relate?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
334 Posts
I think 'disgusting' is the only way I can describe this thread.
This thread DOES seems rather misogynistic to me, especially the "sex" portion of the opinion on women.


Women are equal with men, and should not be objectified nor sexualized. There's a reason why the feminism movement is taking place, and that is because our society needs to understand that women=men and not men>women.

So yes, I agree with you there on the 'disgusting is the only way I can describe this thread'.
 
Joined
·
4,926 Posts
Not surprising considering who the op is.

Sent from my HTC Sensation Z710e using Tapatalk
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,093 Posts
Discussion Starter · #5 ·
This thread DOES seems rather misogynistic to me, especially the "sex" portion of the opinion on women.


Women are equal with men, and should not be objectified nor sexualized. There's a reason why the feminism movement is taking place, and that is because our society needs to understand that women=men and not men>women.

So yes, I agree with you there on the 'disgusting is the only way I can describe this thread'.
I agree, I don't objectify women.

Sex goes both ways.

Just because they are good looking doesn't mean i'll have sex with them. Some things are a major turn off.

Women allow me to release my romantic side. Experiencing them & them experiencing me.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
334 Posts
I agree, I don't objectify women.

Sex goes both ways.

Just because they are good looking doesn't mean i'll have sex with them. Some things are a major turn off.

Women allow me to release my romantic side. Experiencing them & them experiencing me.
Except your main points are based off of sex anyways so you're sexualizing women in general :cool:. Make sure to word your opinions better.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
709 Posts
This thread DOES seems rather misogynistic to me, especially the "sex" portion of the opinion on women.
Not really. He's just honest. And as long as it's mutual and consensual I don't see it's much of a problem. It could and should be better and more meaningful, but some people want it that way and you'd be wrong to view women as some angels.

I know a bunch of women who engage in all sorts of behaviors and think of themselves as victims or innocents/normal/acceptable while they wrought it too.

Sex goes both ways.

Women allow me to release my romantic side. Experiencing them & them experiencing me.
Just make sure that they really know what they're getting into from the very start, ok? :]
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,528 Posts
I see women as an escape/distraction. An avenue to release my passion upon. It isn't just the sex either, experiencing their elegance & beauty is also appealing. Seeing them before & after, then seeing them losing themselves in sex, is where it really gets interesting.

The context of the words you provided reveal a great deal to me about you, actually.

The view "on" women, that "they are an escape/distraction", an "avenue to (insert action)", an experience, "seeing (observing them)"... in all contexts, you have refered to us as a passive receiver of your perceived actions. We are literally the object of your sentences and attitudes.

No matter how positive the stereotype, putting women on this pedestal, is still stifling their attempts at equity. Get Me Off This Damn Pedestal | the fatal feminist

Don't mistaken this for mixed messages, don't mistaken this for an attack. Just take this as an opportunity to look into the schema you currently hold about the "context of women" in your life.

I can guarantee you that women certainly don't see you as a majestic creature.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,677 Posts
I won't call this thread disgusting. OP isn't making claims that "all women are a certain way" or "women should be treated like sex toys and nothing more." Instead, he's opening up his mind to us and asking if anybody can relate to what he feels.

However, I do not relate, and you are objectifying women, @MisterD. Engaging too much Se (or at least doing it in the wrong way) can be dangerous, physically and socially. As far as I see it, developing lasting relationships with loyal friends and partners is a much better investment than momentary pleasures. The basic fear of an E8 is "Of being harmed or controlled by others", so I can understand how that may translate into your methods of rarely being genuine when communicating with others, and using relationships as a means to an end. Perhaps you can begin seeking healthy relationships as ENDS rather than a means. Without those relationships, your Fi might get bottled up, and release more often in destructive ways, such as fits of rage, or so I would guess.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
250 Posts
Thinking back to how I was before my marriage if I wanted to have sex with a female I told her and made it clear prior to that it was JUST sex. If they tried to do romance stuff afterwards I put an end to it immediately and bluntly only being an asshole if they were an extreme case of wouldn't go the hell away. On the other side of things if I was genuinely interested then I was just as straight forward as when I just wanted sex. Once I commit to a relationship then that was that. Cheating is never considered no matter the reason. If I consider cheating on you I'm probably just gonna break it off.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,677 Posts
Loving how everyone missed the entire first half of the OP and how it relates to the second half. Objectifying women? Verboten. The bigger picture in which this is given context? Indifference.
I find it funny that the first person to pick up on this being anything other than "disgusting" was @Nightchill, an INFP, rather than an NT. Isn't it OUR job as Te doms to be objective? :laughing: Here's a toast to Nightchill, for beating us at our own game.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
5,780 Posts
I find it funny that the first person to pick up on this being anything other than "disgusting" was @Nightchill, an INFP, rather than an NT. Isn't it OUR job as Te doms to be objective? :laughing: Here's a toast to Nightchill, for beating us at our own game.
Yeah, but more to the point, it seems that the OP not only sexually objectifies women, but also objectifies everyone he needs or wants something from. Even when he subjectifies people, it's really just to objectify them. Even still, it doesn't seem like he is doing anything inherently immoral, and it doesn't sound like he came here to be morally corrected on one little point.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,111 Posts
I find it funny that the first person to pick up on this being anything other than "disgusting" was @Nightchill, an INFP, rather than an NT. Isn't it OUR job as Te doms to be objective? :laughing: Here's a toast to Nightchill, for beating us at our own game.
After considering what was said, I guess in the bigger picture MisterD is lamenting on are things like boredom and being unfulfilled and what he does to make his life more tolerable. Moreso than objectifying women, the post is objectifying people. Which is not okay, but....

I'm selfish, every moment of every day, I work towards bettering myself & advancing myself. Over the years, I've found that bringing people up with you, is better for you in the long run. I can adapt & be strategically/tactfully nice as a means to an end... but, by no means is it genuine.
Which is something I guess I can identify with. I wish I could say EVERY relationship/friendship I've ever had has been completely genuine on my end, but that would be untrue, which was the part I was calling disgusting. Additionally, being a heterosexual (and this is something I don't feel anyone has touched on) it's my belief that viewing women, and really viewing people in a sexual way is okay. Sexuality is sort of paramount to our continued existence. Describing those things in objectifying context, though is socially ill-advised and inappropriate.

That all being said, my initial post wasn't made rationally. It was late, and I thought "Well, that's yucky", and went to bed. DT is probably right that it's not very xNTx of me.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,088 Posts
Not looking for LTR. I do enjoy the company of women, I just don't care to establish any sort of deep relationship at this point. I've not enjoyed the way my previous ones evolved, and have been spending time building my mind, body, and soul. Telling certain women I do not want a relationship, enjoy being single, or say it would really have to be the right one, seems to have the opposite effect than I thought it would though. I don't complain.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,929 Posts
In interests of equality, denouncing discussion that center's around objectifying other people does help repress the selfish desires of people from 'using' others.

To me it seems like he is expressing desire rather than personal opinion of women.
"I desire a way to release my passion -> on women... but know to see women as equals, even though it makes it hard for me to reconcile my desire with a relationship on equal terms"
I understand that, I wouldn't consider it immoral, just emotionally unavailable for a LTR and a great potential for misunderstanding. OP probably hopes that someone with a similar need comes into his life; from that feelings may change.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
5,780 Posts
In interests of equality, denouncing discussion that center's around objectifying other people does help repress the selfish desires of people from 'using' others.

To me it seems like he is expressing desire rather than personal opinion of women.
"I desire a way to release my passion -> on women... but know to see women as equals, even though it makes it hard for me to reconcile my desire with a relationship on equal terms"
I understand that, I wouldn't consider it immoral, just emotionally unavailable for a LTR and a great potential for misunderstanding. OP probably hopes that someone with a similar need comes into his life; from that feelings may change.
Very Francis Underwoodean.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,929 Posts
Very Francis Underwoodean.
I figure it's better than sucking your (metaphorical) soul dry by pretending your not selfish. :p

I might have a desire to shag someone (selfish desire), but some other desires (choose to rationalize oneself as an equal principled person) will keep that in check from raping people. I think some parts of choices are not wholly attributed to a conscious selfish decision making, but also guided by predispositions of our personality and identity too.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
5,780 Posts
I figure it's better than sucking your (metaphorical) soul dry by pretending your not selfish. :p

I might have a desire to shag someone (selfish desire), but some other desires (choose to rationalize oneself as an equal principled person) will keep that in check from raping people. I think some parts of choices are not wholly attributed to a conscious selfish decision making, but also guided by predispositions of our personality and identity too.
So you basically think that selfishness has to be conscious?

[NOT TROLLING]I think that is very optimistic. If what you believe is true, then very few people are selfish. This is in contrast with the idea that selfishness is acting purely in ones own self-interest, consciously or not. Why must it be conscious?[/NOT TROLLING]
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,929 Posts
So you basically think that selfishness has to be conscious?

[NOT TROLLING]I think that is very optimistic. If what you believe is true, then very few people are selfish. This is in contrast with the idea that selfishness is acting purely in ones own self-interest, consciously or not. Why must it be conscious?[/NOT TROLLING]
I was trying to say that pretending your not selfish (through your conscience) will conflict your selfish thoughts; often digging yourself into a hole where, if you'd been... or highlighted the selfish side in the first place, would not lead to clashes or misunderstandings. [/close to home]

Why must it be conscious?
It's that kind of open selfishness I consider healthy. I agree selfishness itself isn't limited to the conscience, indeed it probably forms the basis of 'seemingly' selfless dispositions.
 
  • Like
Reactions: MisterD
1 - 20 of 139 Posts
Top