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I was on this site called ENTJ Personaltiy Info (I would put the link, but I have fewer than 10 posts)

And I came across an interesting quote:

"Their high standards for everything apply to finding a partner as well. They will scrutinize their potential partner from a distance first, measuring every aspect of a person almost scientifically. An ENTJ male will look at a woman and ask millions of questions in his head before he goes into action: "Is she smart?", "Does she dress well?", "Is she good looking?", "Overly emotional?", "Is she elegant in her attitude?", "Is she healthy?" and so on..."

I was wondering how accurate this methodical way of selecting a companion is: Can you ENTJs truly relate to this? If so, what kind of questions do you (specifically, ENTJ males) ask?
 

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I'm not exactly an ENTJ... or at least I'm not sure if I'm an INTJ or ENTJ.

But, when I find myself drawn to someone I immediately butcher their aspects until I've convinced myself that they're not worth my time. If I can't seem to convince myself, then I proceed to ask them out (read: get rejected).

The first question I ask is... "Why the f*** do I like this person?" which I then proceed to mentally (sometimes loud enough that it becomes verbal) answer the question. This is usually personality-wise... as in how they interact with people.

If I can provide myself a good answer... I move onto applying some sort of judgement upon their character. "Is this person overly needy?" (I require a mediocre amount of neediness)... "Are they neat and tidy?"... "Are the dressed reasonably well?"... "Are they punctual?"... and so on. No one's perfect... so I'm not implying that they have to satisfy every little thing.
 

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No, not really. If I see a girl that's attractive I usually just go over, though it depends a bit on the situation. Usually I do not get interested, but if I do the usual factor (I think) is that the person is really warm or a total bitch. Love is more of a game for me, and there's only one girl that I've really fallen for. It started the same way with her as well though.
 

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.. I honestly don't think that much. It's attraction. If I'm attracted, I pay attention to them.. I get to know them. See if can lead anywhere, maybe this is the part where I ask myself if there's compatibility, are there things I don't like/ find unacceptable about them.

Something like hovering around an object to see it from various angles, admittedly. But don't (atleast I think so) everyone do this sort of thing when trying to gauge whether someone is say, 'mate' material or not?

Also there's no specific questions, more like little and big impressions meshed together into a decision.
 

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.. I honestly don't think that much. It's attraction. If I'm attracted, I pay attention to them.. I get to know them. See if can lead anywhere, maybe this is the part where I ask myself if there's compatibility, are there things I don't like/ find unacceptable about them.

Something like hovering around an object to see it from various angles, admittedly. But don't (atleast I think so) everyone do this sort of thing when trying to gauge whether someone is say, 'mate' material or not?

Also there's no specific questions, more like little and big impressions meshed together into a decision.
After a while... You start getting the ability to add words to the precise things that you like/dislike... :crying:
 

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I was on this site called ENTJ Personaltiy Info (I would put the link, but I have fewer than 10 posts)

And I came across an interesting quote:

"Their high standards for everything apply to finding a partner as well. They will scrutinize their potential partner from a distance first, measuring every aspect of a person almost scientifically. An ENTJ male will look at a woman and ask millions of questions in his head before he goes into action: "Is she smart?", "Does she dress well?", "Is she good looking?", "Overly emotional?", "Is she elegant in her attitude?", "Is she healthy?" and so on..."

I was wondering how accurate this methodical way of selecting a companion is: Can you ENTJs truly relate to this? If so, what kind of questions do you (specifically, ENTJ males) ask?
To me these questions seem more like Te and Si in reality, than say Te and Ni.

I personally ask, what COULD we be, or what MIGHT I like. I think that the examples in the OP would be more commonly asked, by say, and ESTJ.

I have an ESTJ male friend who actually would voice these thoughts to me quite often, with amusement, mind you. Any ESTJ, please feel free to debate this.

Ultimately, Vanitas is spot on. If it's attraction, it's attraction. The possibilities are endless. :happy:
 

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I used to, but then I realised being picky was just extremely arrogant. As if I was good enough to just say "she has thick legs, that means she doesn't run or swim or walk a lot which means she possibly isn't very fit" haha wtf was wrong with me? Nobody is good enough to pick someone based on those decisions.
 

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I was on this site called ENTJ Personaltiy Info (I would put the link, but I have fewer than 10 posts)

And I came across an interesting quote:

"Their high standards for everything apply to finding a partner as well. They will scrutinize their potential partner from a distance first, measuring every aspect of a person almost scientifically. An ENTJ male will look at a woman and ask millions of questions in his head before he goes into action: "Is she smart?", "Does she dress well?", "Is she good looking?", "Overly emotional?", "Is she elegant in her attitude?", "Is she healthy?" and so on..."

I was wondering how accurate this methodical way of selecting a companion is: Can you ENTJs truly relate to this? If so, what kind of questions do you (specifically, ENTJ males) ask?
Yes, I like high standards but it's just not practical enough. If I'm attracted to a woman then I just am. I didn't selectively take the time to think about it and choose to be. My brain fired off my synapses and told me "you are attracted to this person." I didn't sit there thinking a billion questions before the decision was made. But maybe after quite a while later I might start thinking of questions of what I would like in a mate. See the brain is smart in controlling us to find a proper mate to reproduce and ensure the survival and existence of our species. When the brain says "You like her!" I'm not going to sit there and argue with my brain.

But generally speaking I would at least like them to match my energy level or at least be close to it. I have to be more forgiving if she's not as smart or intelligent as I am. It is quite possible that she possesses other skills, qualities, traits, etc... that I have not seen yet. But there are a lot of reasons on who and why we are attracted to a person. But no one is without faults, with everything good there's something bad that comes along with it.

Here are some reasons I find that I'm attracted to a woman:

1. Voice, yes voice! This one woman I met just had the most soft, warming, soothing and beautiful voice I have ever heard. I found it attractive and irresistable when she talked.
2. Physical looks, yes looks count a lot for men but I'm sure most of you women out there already know this. It's also the reason why the ladies spend hours to look good for us men. But what one man might find attractive another man will find repulsive.
3. Personality and charm, if she can keep me away from boredom that's a definite plus.

But my number one killer turning off my attraction to a woman quickly is smoking. Smoking is a deal killer for me and I found some other guys I know don't like smokers either. So sorry smokers, there will be someone out there for you it just won't be the guys who have a strong dislike to your habit.
 

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True

I was on this site called ENTJ Personaltiy Info (I would put the link, but I have fewer than 10 posts)

And I came across an interesting quote:

"Their high standards for everything apply to finding a partner as well. They will scrutinize their potential partner from a distance first, measuring every aspect of a person almost scientifically. An ENTJ male will look at a woman and ask millions of questions in his head before he goes into action: "Is she smart?", "Does she dress well?", "Is she good looking?", "Overly emotional?", "Is she elegant in her attitude?", "Is she healthy?" and so on..."

I was wondering how accurate this methodical way of selecting a companion is: Can you ENTJs truly relate to this? If so, what kind of questions do you (specifically, ENTJ males) ask?
As soon as I see a woman that is physically pleasing to me, I put together a personality picture keep in mind it is the package that makes her appealing leading me to draw conclusions:

Type of clothing (Cheap/Expensive/Corporate/Business Casual/Trendy Casual/Couture etc...)
Hair Style (Bohemian/Not Done/Coiffed)
Does she look emotionally (Needy/Independent/Stalker)

This allows me to categorize her as "just for now" or potential merger material it will also determine the venues I expose her to..........

After years this decision making becomes second nature and is done quickly without much laboring of thought and then it is only to decided on my verbal approach based upon the processing of above attributes.

Thus the million questions are asked and answered very quickly totally based on the outside appearance and if she passes that muster she's categorized and I choose my verbal or non-verbal cue approach that I believe she is most receptive to respond.
 

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I do, but not entirely at first. My first thoughts are:

-Attractiveness
-Personality
-Can I stand this woman?

As I go along getting to know her apart from the introduction phase, I start to think about the following:

-Is this woman smart and/or successful?
-Do I respect her?
-Is this woman sane and/or have her feet on the ground?

Later on as I'm dating her I start to think:

-How well do we mesh?
-Is our personalities, attitudes, take on life compatible?
-What was she like before I met her?
-What will she look and be like when she is old?

Also, I'd like to add that I have high standards. I was basically looking for someone who is mature, professional, a good wife, a good mother, and has similar views as me on everything from how should we organize the closet space to political preferences. Party girls are a turn off, overdramatic girls are a turn off, superficial girls are a turn of, and girls with no self pride and aspirations are a turn off. To seal the deal, my wife picked me and I didn't pick her (she made herself available, I came onto her, she accepted - no cat and mouse games) - which also shows her seriousness about a relationship. It wasn't a dramatic story of break ups, on and offs, cheating, love triangle, etc.
 

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"Selecting a mate"? You must be an INTP to word it like that.

Aside from a glossy mane, booty calls and submissive mounting...well, since I'm not a complete ENTJ, I can't complete the sentence.
 

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I have a huge checklist when it comes to selecting a "mate" but deep down I know that all I need is a connection. I've met alot of beautiful women who get most (if not all) ticks on my checklist, however there was never any connection so it was never going to get anywhere serious.

Most importantly, she needs to be head strong & have confidence in her self. I could never respect and be loyal to somebody insecure about themselves. I've liked girls who I have completed hated, if that makes sense? But the relationship was sooo good, because it was dark and the love hate was mutual.
 

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I think that ENTJ's should incorporate a Heihachi from Tekken strategy. They throw their mate off of a cliff, and if they survive, then they are deemed strong enough to date the ENTJ.
 

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I think that ENTJ's should incorporate a Heihachi from Tekken strategy. They throw their mate off of a cliff, and if they survive, then they are deemed strong enough to date the ENTJ.
so true. prove your worth
 
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Checklist. It's a huge checklist, but not impossible to satisfy. I am actually engaged...

Edit: Doesn't everyone have a checklist? Or would the alternative be if it just feels right? Even if he/she is uneducated, broke, no job, unintelligent, impolite, uncreative, unmotivated?
I guess it does explain how people end up with toxic mates...
 

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Am I the only one that was "scientific" about mate selection? There is a difference between having fun and selecting a mate. Being female, I was always up for a free dinner and movie, etc, but the gentleman in question was on a job interview as far as I was concerned.

I took more of a holistic approach...I wouldn't nix anyone for any one thing, but some things were deal breakers.
  • One guy was a racist. He was rich and there was physical chemistry but he was a blatant and unrepentant racist.
  • Another guy showed up for the first date looking like The Fonz and had the audacity to order my food for me. When he got money from the atm he read over the atm fee charge line by line before he got the money, as if he had never seen one before.
  • Men who are weak-willed or unambitious.
  • I had a long term boyfriend whom I liked but we were not romantically compatible and he had a lot of little health problems. I just couldn't mix my DNA with his. I feel a certain responsibility for my genetic line.
And that was the clincher. Beyond compatibility, I knew I wanted children and his DNA had to be desirable.
 

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I always thought courtship was was along the lines of something more natural. Like, oh say - the wildee of eye crocodile, and the thirsty wilderbeast of the serengti. Then happily ever after or devouring. Hmm me always get those two mixed up :wink:
 
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