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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
My stepfather is a raging angry ENTJ.
It is impossible for me to communicate with him.
Whenever we have a disagreement, my go to response is to quietly rationalize the answer out, but he immediately starts yelling and talking in absolutes. I feel like it is impossible for me to get through to him because even though my logic is sound, he will never listen to my side of the story. When i trap him logically, he has a huge tempter tantrum, slams doors loudly, throws things, and leaves the house to go for a drive. Even after he has calmed down he will never admit that he was wrong, and will only smirk at people who try to bring the subject up, as though he was obviously still in the right.

I'm just wondering how i would get through to him. I feel like he is my exact opposite. Pretty close since I am an ENTP/INTP
The fact that i no longer live at home is the only reason my mom and him are still married.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
HAHA, I don't storm off and run away when i know I'm right. Or ever really. I don't have much of a temper
Confrontation like that makes me laugh.
I was literally laughing at the way he handled it.
What does he need to get through to me?
and "KID" = 19 year old

I want to know how i can make him be totally NOT ENTJ and to see things from my perspective. He has never understood me and that why hes been an asshole to me my whole life. He has always tried to change me into who he is
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Definitely aware that its not a healthy way of living.
I think hes somewhere close to center on the N/S issue
hes very traditional and doesn't question authority much but i think his N is stronger because of the way he will decide something and be sure its right even if evidence for the opposite is right in front of him
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
ESFJ?
Definitely not

"ESFJs are people persons - they love people. They are warmly interested in others. They use their Sensing and Judging characteristics to gather specific, detailed information about others, and turn this information into supportive judgments. They want to like people, and have a special skill at bringing out the best in others. They are extremely good at reading others, and understanding their point of view"

he can't see anybody elses pov but his own and i read that that was a distinctly ENTJ way of behaving
 

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hes very traditional and doesn't question authority much but i think his N is stronger because of the way he will decide something and be sure its right even if evidence for the opposite is right in front of him
I think that's more of a S combined with Te. However, a disclaimer is I have rarely identified any ENTJs in my life. Personally, I can't trust NTs to blindly believe in tradition. That seems very SJ to me. A NT may have an opinion regarding an issue, ritual, or tradition but to blindly believe in all the truth is not something I would consider a NT to fall under. Does he ever come up with any ideas at all? Just sayin'
 

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there are many ways to dispose of a body
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
I wouldn't say he blindly follows
but that which he does follow, which is a mix of his own opinion on the matter and tradition/law/authority he follows very strongly and doesn't understand how others could not follow it.
He loves making things/working with his hands if that helps to type him.
hes a jeweler who owns his own store and he built our deck, and a bar in our basement by himself as well as every other home improvement project on our house.
 

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ESFJ?
Definitely not

"ESFJs are people persons - they love people. They are warmly interested in others. They use their Sensing and Judging characteristics to gather specific, detailed information about others, and turn this information into supportive judgments. They want to like people, and have a special skill at bringing out the best in others. They are extremely good at reading others, and understanding their point of view"

he can't see anybody elses pov but his own and i read that that was a distinctly ENTJ way of behaving
That is assuming he is a healthy ESFJ..... An ESFJ angry would likely not listen to your views, since their own are very important (F), and they are very stuck in their ways, and in their views (SJ).

The way he is behaving is typical SJ, not NT.

Although I am only speaking from my own experience, my step father is an ESFJ, and while he doesn't get mad too often when he is he is like you're describing.
 

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Discussion Starter · #13 ·
by get through to him i mean how do i get him to listen to what i have to say and look at my side of things
i guess since everyones having trouble typing him that he isnt very typical so i guess it would be hard to get a response
 

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That is assuming he is a healthy ESFJ..... An ESFJ angry would likely not listen to your views, since their own are very important (F), and they are very stuck in their ways, and in their views (SJ).

The way he is behaving is typical SJ, not NT.

Although I am only speaking from my own experience, my step father is an ESFJ, and while he doesn't get mad too often when he is he is like you're describing.

Hehehehehe, I ditto that :D

My Mother is ESFJ, and when I say something or do something contrary to her beliefs she gets angry and is impossible to reason with [mostly because she uses so called silent treatment a lot, so there is nobody to talk to].
 

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Why do you need to get through to him?? If you're not living at home then you're not subject to his rules and you don't even have to listen to him if you don't want to. Unless he has some kind of hold over you like paying for college, then you're screwed.

Also, what is it with kids these days thinking they are entitled to be heard by their parents, even step-parents??
 
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Also, what is it with kids these days thinking they are entitled to be heard by their parents, even step-parents??

I think that's more of just a basic human desire don't cha think? I mean to be recognized and appreciated for your insights. If one is ignored and not taken seriously. I think people do feel entitled naturally to be heard by people. You can see the effects of this when a certain kind of people are not taken seriously or ignored. What do they do? They get pissed. They riot. They rebel. They form some kind of way to get their opinion heard.
 

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Yeah, he sounds like a raging ESFJ who wants so badly to appear strong and manly. (Well, I'm not saying that's your father's motivations, but I've seen SO many male ESFJs that go so overboard with this "tough, strong man's man" act that it's screamingly obvious that they're emotional feeeeeelers.)

ESFJs can get quite belligerent, those kindly people-pleaser descriptions apply mainly to the healthy ones who are presenting a proper behavior to society.

My ESFJ mother was even like that, just yell scream and bitch constantly when she's disagreed with. So I axed her right out my life. I don't need people like that. Fire your dad.
 

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Discussion Starter · #18 ·
i would
and say fuck you
if he wasn't paying for college
as soon as thats done hes out of my life completely
but for now, i was wondering if theres any way for him to see logic
 

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but for now, i was wondering if theres any way for him to see logic
Hmm... Is there something you need him to agree to, like I dunno - you getting a tattoo, buying a car or studying abroad [I mean "concrete" problem] or do you just speak in general?
 

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Discussion Starter · #20 ·
In general
because we are never able to agree on something
my love of exactness and logical precision doesn't go well with his, this is right because this is right because this is right because I said so. I try to ask the logical basis for his demands and he can't provide them so we begin to argue and we're having 2 different conversations. He can't stick to one logical thought train.
 
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