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I can't really figure out what we're supposed to be doing.

Having succeeded living on what seems to be blind luck and a seemingly small supply of innate talent, I've now reached a point in the (SJ-dominated) sphere of the world where I feel that I will fail.

Whether that means fail within myself existentially by following my soul-sucking career path of sewer engineering and giving up on things that really make me feel alive (mostly because I don't have the tenacity or the patience to actually become better at them), or if I fail this last year of school that I'm bumbling through, I'm not sure, but it doesn't look great.

I'm too busy but I'm not good at any of the things I've chosen to commit my time to, or at least not good enough to actually make something of myself in the respective fields. I don't know where I'm going. Living in my theoretical world is slowly becoming more of a hindrance than an asset and I don't know how to make myself do anything, I've never had to try.

And I can't seem to care except in moments of complete defeatism in regards to their system. I don't really care that I'm not great at everything... I just know I'll never get the recognition I want (because jeez that's my only measure of self-worth, really?) unless I make myself better than I already am.

Best (and worst) of all, my flatmate is an INFJ that I can't talk about any of this with because it all just sounds like I'm complaining about being too good at too many things.

I know what to do, I know I have to start trying at things and make myself into someone but everything feels wrong. I don't want to. I can't seem to make myself want to. I've never had to.

And I swear if I hear one more person talk about how much "potential" I have, I'll rip their face off.

Any kind of inspiring stories or tips or whatever would help, thanks guys.
 

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It is nay impossible to feel inspired to do shit you don't want to do. If your chosen major appears to be a bleak future to you, take another direction. The one greatest passion I had in the world was a sport that I've since quit due to personal issues. Life has been pretty much on hold since then. Nothing to look forward to really.

But you and I both have something in common -- the power to take direction. We are in control of our lives, not the other way around. Circumstances are dull and the future doesn't look pretty. There's only one solution to achieving happiness here, and it's changing your path. Whatever that path may be is probably unknown to you right now. Maybe you can seek that path while pursuing the career of your chosen major. Maybe not.

Sorry that this wasn't an inspiring story. I wish I had one to post. 2013 fucking sucks lol
 
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sound like you don't feel really good at one thing, but a jack of all trades, compared to your SJ peers/colleagues. and your suffering from a spiral of self critique. what do you want to be good at? is there someone you respect that can give you honest feedback?
 

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I don't have much inspiring advice, only to work your ass off to finish that school with grades as high as you can, you will have something to show for it while finding a job that suits you, depending on the career it doesn't always matter what specific schooling you had, just that you have some 'proof' that you are competent in your head, and you can always learn new stuff. Don't think you'll be stuck in one career path with a specific education. One of my colleagues has an engineering background, he's manager of an important part of the company i work for now (big transport company), i'm pretty sure the education looked good on his resume and was part of the decision to hire him.
 

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I know what to do, I know I have to start trying at things and make myself into someone but everything feels wrong. I don't want to. I can't seem to make myself want to. I've never had to.
I can relate to this part as of late. I'm not sure I'm the best person to listen to for advice as I haven't entirely figured it out myself. However, I have found that altering my attitude a bit to see my lack of motivation as an opponent. An opponent that I am constantly at war with. Seeing it as someone who is trying to control me helps me feel motivated to at least rebel against something. While that may not be the motivation you or I are looking for, it may help in the mean time. Not sure if this was your exact question but your statement struck a chord with what I've been feeling as well.
 
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