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Grumpy old bastard
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@series0 thinks he has had crazier women than I in his life.

I once had a woman stay in my shop on the couch. Tucked in the corner were some of my daughter's clothes in a big box. She rummaged through the box, and helped herself to some clothes including a pair of socks. Apparently aunt floe showed up, so she used the socks, then left them under the couch.

I had a LTR break up with me because I was going to cheat on her someday.

I had a lady bitch to me about how her ex wanted sex every week.
 

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ugh... bad dates... *shivers*
I've never gone on a date with a crazy person (though I SERIOUSLY wish I had, dat would be da bomb). Closest I've come was in 9th grade, when the dude pulled me over into the corner and told me his "deepest darkest secret" about being a wolf and some shit.

A lot of dudes seemed fine until I went on a date with them and they tried to "turn me on" with their eccentric, perverted methods, thinking I'd dig that stuff despite it being fairly obvious that I don't. You know, saying things like "hey, I hear a -- is supposed to feel great between your chest, hurhur" and extremely unappealing shit like that, which basically confirms their brain cell count to be around 0-2.
I've had a dude send me a full nude after our first date. (I almost posted it on 4chan, just for the shits)
But crazy dates? nah... I wish.

I'm waiting for that moment where I'm casually eating dinner with someone on a date and they go "hey, btw. I'm a serial killer who has been stalking you for months". And then it's all *click* action mode, trying to escape, skipping states with my family. Aww man, that would be the day.
 

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Pfft, that's nothing. Learn from my weird.

Last week I went on a date with a gothic dude who's still in rehab, who I met at my church right around the "sexual purity" sermon. We had sex in a public park. It was pretty awesome.

Guy I dated before that was amnesiac. I would stay over at his house, wake up in the morning and have to explain to him who I was and the fact that it was actually 2013 rather than 2011, and he's now incapable of retaining long-term memory. Then we often sang songs from Phantom of the Opera in an epic harmony, he'd make me scrambled eggs and forget me six hours later. He's the one who spent several months debating religion with me until I decided to read the bible.

Before that, I had a really awful one night stand with a guy who has Kleinfelter's Syndrome (meaning his chromosomes are XXY). Very androgynous looking but surprisingly still quite promiscuous. He loves flying planes and driving, so he randomly drove from Pennsylvania to Maryland to catch breakfast and then we hung around the Baltimore airport for a while. He spent the entire time comparing me to his ex-girlfriend, who's apparently a very large bitchy older woman with a toddler.

I've also dated a literal math genius/ film maker from a crazy wealthy Middle Eastern family; an asexual, extremely androgynous little computer hacker with a metal rod in his spine who fences and whose parents are two of the top photographers in the world; a genuine psychopath with an IQ of 165; and a gay furry who was also a chronic liar. -edit- Oh yeah, and I went on a date a month ago with this weird astrophysicist who told me about his project to colonize an asteroid, but he was really boring.
 

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Omg! And I thought I had some bad dates! Lol!

I <3 this thread. >.<
 
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you know... when u think about it, it's kind of amazing how easy it is to make dates a living hell for someone.

It's like, a few years ago I was hanging out with a guy by a school park. Was getting kind of boring since we didn't have much to talk about. He he needed to use the bathroom so he headed out towards the porta-potty. Don't really know, but I thought it would be a great idea to try and lock him in there. was really thrilled about this idea, actually. Couldn't find anything so I just kind of... hugged the door with all the strength I could muster. He (I guess, obviously) started bugging out a bit and I wouldn't let go or say anything. And not for just a few seconds and then "haha, just kidding". I meant business with this, wouldn't let go for a while. Then I did and ran laughing like a mad man. Got such a crazy adrenaline rush from that. Should do that more often. Dude was cool about it later on.
 

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LOL this thread is comic gold

back in 10th grade, some john tucker wannabe took me to see a movie. it was avatar and it wasn't even in 3d. i have never been so disappointed...
 

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@series0 thinks he has had crazier women than I in his life.

I once had a woman stay in my shop on the couch. Tucked in the corner were some of my daughter's clothes in a big box. She rummaged through the box, and helped herself to some clothes including a pair of socks. Apparently aunt floe showed up, so she used the socks, then left them under the couch.

I had a LTR break up with me because I was going to cheat on her someday.

I had a lady bitch to me about how her ex wanted sex every week.
I once had a girl I asked out after meeting her at a club the week previous, meet me at a really hip place to dance. Then she wouldn't dance because, "I was not her property". She seemed messed up. I didn't know what to do so I bought her a drink and gave her space. She kept getting angry at my attempts to cheer her up. So I asked her if she would rather I leave. She hung her head and seemed sullen and said very dearly, "No, stay, let me cheer myself up. Just go dance and come back." So I met a pal and played blackjack at the offered tables. Then she came back all slinky and interested. We danced. It was awesome. She was gorgeous and fun, lighthearted.

Then, when we left she was getting physical and attacking me (in a good way). We went to a coffee shop and desert place and chatted and she couldn't keep her hands off me. She wanted more so there was the issue of both cars. She said she didn't have her car, that a friend had dropped her off. Would I take her home? Lots of innuendo.

Ok, so I take her home. Everything is clear. Dangerously physical all the way. We get to her place and her mood slightly changes. She went into confused playfulness is the only way I know how to describe it. She bolted from the car and yelled her Apt # at me. I let it go. She was going to clean up probably right? Seen it a dozen times. So I follow her up the stairs to her door. Open the door and walk in. A little weird. I say "Hello ...?" I hear "Get him!"

Two dobermans rush out. One bites my arm and the other is growling at me inches from me. I turn to protect my groin and grab the dog biting me by the neck, lift it off its feet and wrap the arm its biting around its neck. Luckily I have a thick leather jacket on. If it hadn't been winter or fall that dog would have drawn blood. The other dog is still growling.

The chic comes in and freaks out. She screams at me for abusing her dogs. I told her if she didn't call them off I might have to kill them. She like honestly thought it was just a joke. Funny. I was trying to get my heart from pounding through my chest and backing slowly out into the breezeway. I put the other dog down and backed away. She slammed the door cursing at me.

Thankfully I never heard from her or saw her again, but, Atlanta is a big town ...
 

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Yep. My most favorite thread on PerC right here.

Not as crazy as your stories, but back in high school, I randomly got an add from this girl on Facebook. She used to go to my high school, and transferred to a private school. Whatever.

A couple of weekends later, the doorbell rings. It's her.

Now, I never even KNEW this girl, never said a word to her, and I don't recall her even being in any of my classes.

Her: Hey, I was in the neighborhood, hanging out at [mutual friend]'s house, and he had to go somewhere, I'm kind of bored and have the afternoon to myself, wanna catch a movie?

Me: Ughhh.....yeah sure.

We went to see Taken. Sat in the back of an empty theater. She kept putting her legs up on me. She clearly wanted me to go in for a kiss on several occasions, but I did not.

She drops me off (yep, I wasn't about wasting my gas on her), and left.

Couple of weeks later, same exact thing. We went to see (I think) Wanted. Legs up on me, wanted me to go for a kiss, didn't the whole 9.

She drops me off again.

We are texting a little bit after all of this. I'm still weirded out at the fact that she rang my doorbell even though I had NO IDEA who this girl was. I made sure to respond to her texts w/ short sentences and one word responses (I usually don't give a shit how much I text. If my thought is an entire paragraph, then it's an entire paragraph).

Then she texts me (a bit paraphrased, but you'll get the idea) this:
"You are SO clueless and absolutely have NO idea when a girl is dropping hints. I am just going to be blunt. I want to f*** your brains out. And lets be honest, you are probably a virgin (I was) so all you have to do is lie there and take my direction. ALL I want this summer is to f*** you again and again and again. Don't you know when summer comes, EVERY girl is looking for a fling?"

She wanted me to "hang out" with her at her house, but I wasn't down for that. I invited her to my house, but never got the house to myself (parents or brothers always there). So it just died.

Then, another girl adds me on Facebook, and starts talking to me. It starts out friendly at first, but after about 2 weeks, gets very sexual (right after the other girl).

Then they both are messaging me on Facebook and texting me like CRAZY. Everyday and often. HUGE turn-on for me, but also scared the shit out of me (sex talk isn't my thing, and I didn't know if I was down to lose my virginity on some random girls from my 800 people graduating class).

One day, the mutual friend tells me that he saw the girl (he told me hated her, but they went to the same SMALL private school and had a lot of mutual friends, so he had to invite her to things he had at his house)'s Facebook messages. She and the other girl who was messaging me were at each other's throats fighting for me.

I just unfriended and blocked them both.

Stupid, probably should have played that out some more.

I do wish the second girl was the one that took me to the movies though. She had that sexy Latina thing going for her, but wasn't very bright.

True story.
 

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@series0 thinks he has had crazier women than I in his life.

I once had a woman stay in my shop on the couch. Tucked in the corner were some of my daughter's clothes in a big box. She rummaged through the box, and helped herself to some clothes including a pair of socks. Apparently aunt floe showed up, so she used the socks, then left them under the couch.

I had a LTR break up with me because I was going to cheat on her someday.

I had a lady bitch to me about how her ex wanted sex every week.
I had been dating an INFJ I knew for about a year. She was amazing. So wise and deep. Really it seemed we were a wonderful match except for one issue, the whole equally yolked thing. She was barefoot dancing protestant (whatever you call those guys) and I was a generic spiritualist. We had had a big fight and it was near Halloween with several parties on our schedule, one big party night with two parties in a row in particular.

She is a Type 4 and dress-up is a big deal for her. All my friends had met her the previous Halloween and she wowed them with a very cool costume, and playing the part. So she has been preparing for this year for a while.

Still, her church has had issues with our relationship. They are putting doubts in her head and many of her friends 'leave her to the devil' not supporting her at all. The elders meet with me and discuss things man to man. I honestly thought they understood my point of view, but it led nowhere. So she is confused. She decides that she can't continue in the relationship with me, but she is also breaking ties with her church. I tried to get her not to leave her church but I did relate to her anger with them leaving her alone to face her troubles (apparently that meant me). So she decide to remain friends but not date as a couple. I hated it but what choice did I have?

So I go to the party, but, since she spent so much time preparing I make sure she knows she is invited. She says no she isnt going and I should go have fun. My only directive from her is that I am supposed to respect her enough to let her know if I do anything with another woman. I am like 'Hey if we are no longer bf/gf that isn't your business. She agrees but wants to know anyway. Whatever. I go to the party.

<Dramatic pause while I check to find the file - ARG! Cant find it - >

So I end up not taking my phone because it was in my real pants not my costume pants. And that shit could never happen on Halloween to an ENTP could it?

I get home and there are 21 calls on my cell all from her. The file I searched for above was the transcript of that call I saved to be reminded of just how insane jealousy can make someone.

Before it was done she was no longer even my friend, hated me, accused me of sleeping with other chics that night and previously (all wrong), accused me of being an unfaithful player (wrong), and kept an irrational rage towards me for the next few weeks. This story sucks without the transcript though. It was unbelievable.

Luckily, she recovered and we are still friends but that one event did permanently affect our connection. She never really recovered from it although she relapsed into being lovers with me several times.
 

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One I remember is taking a girl to a bar in the ghetto. The amount of crackheads and homeless people we passed while we were strolling along the road was innumerable. Then I ran across the street after I said "Go!" and had to wait like 10 minutes on the other side before I could cross back over and the road cleared. lol
 

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this is depressing.
 

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This is currently the best thread in the forums. Unfortunately I don't have anything to add that compares to these, which is a little disheartening.
 

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I briefly dated a girl who occupied buildings for living space and stole food from dumpsters. She kind of always smelled like onions and had a really horrible voice, so that didnt go far. Main thing that got us talking was the fact that i was wearing a t-shirt with a Mao Zedong print.
 

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Pfft, that's nothing. Learn from my weird.

Last week I went on a date with a gothic dude who's still in rehab, who I met at my church right around the "sexual purity" sermon. We had sex in a public park. It was pretty awesome.

Guy I dated before that was amnesiac. I would stay over at his house, wake up in the morning and have to explain to him who I was and the fact that it was actually 2013 rather than 2011, and he's now incapable of retaining long-term memory. Then we often sang songs from Phantom of the Opera in an epic harmony, he'd make me scrambled eggs and forget me six hours later. He's the one who spent several months debating religion with me until I decided to read the bible.

Before that, I had a really awful one night stand with a guy who has Kleinfelter's Syndrome (meaning his chromosomes are XXY). Very androgynous looking but surprisingly still quite promiscuous. He loves flying planes and driving, so he randomly drove from Pennsylvania to Maryland to catch breakfast and then we hung around the Baltimore airport for a while. He spent the entire time comparing me to his ex-girlfriend, who's apparently a very large bitchy older woman with a toddler.

I've also dated a literal math genius/ film maker from a crazy wealthy Middle Eastern family; an asexual, extremely androgynous little computer hacker with a metal rod in his spine who fences and whose parents are two of the top photographers in the world; a genuine psychopath with an IQ of 165; and a gay furry who was also a chronic liar. -edit- Oh yeah, and I went on a date a month ago with this weird astrophysicist who told me about his project to colonize an asteroid, but he was really boring.

Can somebody hack all the sites with the generalizations of ENTP and put this there instead?
 

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I was working a concession stand at a football game the other night. Some guy I used to go to school with walked up. I asked him what he'd like and said "your number."

"Fresh outta numbers. Maybe we could hand out a bit instead." blah blah blah I ditch the concession stand. We flirt, kiss, etc. Then he starts going on about how attractive he thinks I am (which is a real turn off and bores me to tears). While we're walking around the stadium, a friend of his shows up and starts chatting. While he's turned around and distracted I bolt and run as fast as I can to the other side of the stadium.

Shortest date ever.


Then there was this guy who casually took me out for coffee once. Two days later he decides he loves me and wants to be serious.

Then there's this guy I have class with. No idea what his name was. He was pretty upfront with his flirting, and made it clear he was interested. So one day when he was being blatant about it I straight up kissed him. It caught him off guard because I'd initially been pretty passive about things. Oh, and his girlfriend found out. What he gets for being a douche, I guess
 

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I was working a concession stand at a football game the other night. Some guy I used to go to school with walked up. I asked him what he'd like and said "your number."

"Fresh outta numbers. Maybe we could hand out a bit instead." blah blah blah I ditch the concession stand. We flirt, kiss, etc. Then he starts going on about how attractive he thinks I am (which is a real turn off and bores me to tears). While we're walking around the stadium, a friend of his shows up and starts chatting. While he's turned around and distracted I bolt and run as fast as I can to the other side of the stadium.

Shortest date ever.


Then there was this guy who casually took me out for coffee once. Two days later he decides he loves me and wants to be serious.

Then there's this guy I have class with. No idea what his name was. He was pretty upfront with his flirting, and made it clear he was interested. So one day when he was being blatant about it I straight up kissed him. It caught him off guard because I'd initially been pretty passive about things. Oh, and his girlfriend found out. What he gets for being a douche, I guess
Lol I flirt with everybody...never been on a date in my life. I should hope none of the girls I flirt with pull what you pulled, cuz that would scare me out of my mind. I would hide for days, trying to figure out how to react to something like that.
 

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I was massively flirting with this guy at work (who I eventually ended up dating) and it was hot, hot, hot. We worked in production and had a 12 hour shift. As we were talking we got into some strange conversations and I cannot honestly remember how we got onto the topic. It still eludes me. However, he ended up writing (as a total joke, well before 9/11 and such) "There Is A Bomb In The Box" on one of the boxes we used to send our manufactured goods over to the production line. I remember laughing and we were just fooling around. I also noticed he discarded the box and we didn't use it for the parts we were making. As these things typically play out, the box got used. It shut down main assembly for hours when the worker over there noticed the big message about a bomb on the side and the police were called. The box had parts that they determined came from a production run during our graveyard shift. The big managers were over and our manager was having conniption fits. Unfortunately, the guy I was flirting with had very distinctive handwriting. I was unaware the next day of the seriousness of what went down when he came over to me in a panic and explained what had happened. He swore me to secrecy and said if anybody asked that I didn't know anything about it. I was genuinely amazed at how long he denied it was him. He was very charming and attractive so I think that helped him escape being fired

I suppose that should of been a warning since he had jumped ship (literally) as an illegal alien, had an assumed name, was married and oh yea...a meth addict.
 
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