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Core values, e.g. a person values a clean neighborhood, he doesn't litter; keeps his front lawn mowed close or pays someone to do it.

Maybe another core value (like an apple core, it contains several seeds) is living among people who share his core values: He is white, middle-class, holds an advanced degree, owns his home, and he would like his neighbors to fit this description too.

I once knew an older INTJ woman who held a PhD she said because her working-class father told her, "You aren't pretty so you better get an education and expect to support yourself." (She had a best friend who helped her get the PhD because it was difficult for her on many levels, i.e. she didn't have the background, the connections nor the intellect to get a PhD back when doing so was harder than it is now.)

She became a psychologist in a wealthy area adjacent to San Diego, owned her home, kept the lawn mowed (she paid a landscaper for that and a few other tasks), learned to play the piano and in her late 60s she paid cash and bought a baby grand she had placed in her living room where it could be seen from the street. She practiced on it at home and went to as well as held piano recitals there.

We were having dinner one evening--she paid me to walk her two dogs at lunch time, and once in a while she would invite me out to dinner, and while we were waiting for our meal she talked about some people who 'didn't share our core values.'

I was shocked but had no expression on my face when she said that, because I shared very few of her core values, which she pronounced as though they were or should be capitalized, and anyone who had different Core Values was not only on the wrong track but despicable.

She often complained about various neighbors, and would take a daily walk around the block, jotting down addresses and then calling the police to report neighbors who did things like leave a couch outside their garage in an alley--knowing the couch would be picked up by someone who needed or wanted it within the hour (this happened all the time as many of us put out things we no longer wanted and knew would be gone in a flash).

One day while we were taking a walk, she stopped to jot down someone's address for breaking one of her Core Values, and when I asked that she not do this when we took a walk together she seemed genuinely confused although she said OK.

She had some odd beliefs and actions attached to her Core Values.

For instance, the public parking space in front of her house? If anyone parked there she would compare the license plate and other details to a list she kept, and if the license plate number or vehicle in general did not match any on her list she would call the police and report that it had been parked there for more than 48 hours, which meant the vehicle would get towed away if it wasn't moved within 24 hours.

One day she reported my pick up truck. I usually parked it in front of my flat as did my husband, but some people were holding a party and took the public spot so I parked the truck around the corner, in front of her house.

When I saw the warning from the meter person I talked with the neighbor and told her 'that is my truck and it hasn't been there 48-hours.' She insisted it had been. I said, 'My husband drives it to work every day so it isn't possible for it to be in one spot for 48-hours, but in any case, it was only there overnight," and I explained about the party and why I had parked it there after coming home from the store and finding my usual spot taken.

She would not relent about it having been parked there 48-hours because her lying would go against a Core Value too but 'that' value ranked lower than her having the spot in front of her house available for when she wanted to park there--she had a driveway of her own.

Another Core Value we didn't share was race-based, i.e. she was racist and she didn't try hiding it from those she assumed 'shared' this reasonable Core Value.

We lived on the edge of one of the nicest neighborhoods in San Diego, which was adjacent to an area that had deteriorated and therefore had more renters as well as more people living in poverty. It also meant 'more Latinos' to whom she referred, with a cold and haughty tone as 'Mexicans.'

On Halloween they came from City Heights to Kensington to Trick-or-Treat, and I had candy and met kids at the door. My neighbor on the other hand turned off her lights on Halloween, and one year she complained to me that 'they come to our neighborhood by the van-load...'

I explained about the poverty; about why they came to Kensington--they felt safer in our area and they would get more candy, too. She didn't care about why; to her 'these domestics' should stay on their side of town, even if it was only a block away and the border was held only in her mind.

My neighbor, and many like her, believe they can tell on sight who does and does not hold their own Core Values. She had a falling out with every neighbor, and I was the last to stop speaking to her.

One funny incident I remember. Her next door neighbor's house, yard, person was generally unkempt, and she had long stopped talking to him because he was beneath her in every way--again, in her own mind.

Well, we lived just off downtown Kensington where film crews often set up for various television and other media events. I found it all a bother: the throngs, the pretentious atmosphere, the huge cables all over the sidewalks, having trouble getting to the library because of the 'van-loads' and otherwise avoided it all. My neighbor, however, loved living somewhere 'on the map' in this way.

Some popular show--my husband, an ESFj would remember which one--chose her next door neighbor's house to put in a few episodes. He had to take down his street address so they could put in their own or leave it blank for the series (I never asked which, or mentioned his good fortune when we nodded hello in passing).

My neighbor was confused, even outraged, that he had been given this honor, and she asked me, seriously, 'Why did they choose that rundown house when they could have chosen mine?'

Again, I explained that for their goal, they wanted a house that needed a paint job and didn't have freshly mowed grass, et cetera. This made no sense to her, and she kept bringing it up as the weeks went by and his 'social currency' went up.

About two months later I noticed her standing on her lawn talking to him... because now it had become apparent to her that in spite of his many flaws, they must share some Core Values or a television producer wouldn't have chosen his house.

Oh, the stories I have about that woman and her Core Values! She was a source of irritation and more to more than myself, 'and' so many people here in The United States share her Core Values. I know... because many look at me still and assume I share them, too.
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