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Discussion Starter · #1 · (Edited)
Entp male / infp female coworkers turned...?

Hi, thanks for your time and I hope I'm not repeating other infp inquiries!

My old coworker and I seem to be in a strange place. On the brink of establishing a sincerely deep, intimate, emotional (albeit long distance) connection but I suspect he is an avoidant dismissive entp ??? Not sure but am hoping you could clarify some of the intentions behind his words/actions? He's ignoring me (possibly indefinitely?) otherwise I would ask him.

We worked together for about 6 months and always had great Ne convos, I can hang in an argument fairly well for an infp going up against an entp who loves to argue, but we run into the classic infp focusing on details entp focusing on big picture.
In our final argument my entp specifically called out his being annoyed with my lack of seeing the big picture point he was trying to make, and hasn't responded to any efforts of communication since. It's been about 3ish weeks. We generally talk for 1-2 days straight about random shit/intermittent sexting every week or so.

Initially we had chemistry at work. I've heard the two Ne types will do that? I didn't pursue anything beyond the occasional work flirtation/witty flirty banter because I was in a serious (unhealthy) relationship until 2 months or so ago. Although, he's an entp so he knew I was into him the entire time we worked together and teased me about it so much, stating I always gave him the "do me" eyes lol. He made a lot of comments about my eyes expressing emotions in general.

Okay so commence the string of weird events that I obviously read into way too much haha.

Firstly, I noticed that if we were having a casual group discussion at work, later when my entp and I were alone he would ask me a personal question about something I said in the group, so I knew there was initial interest to simply get to know me better. Which I enjoy because I'm the same when I find someone interesting! And I find him very interesting :)

Anyway we stopped working together and maintained our relationship exclusively through text messages and snapchat.

Occasionally, He would ask me to pick up some medicine for him and come to my house to pick it up, and when i asked him why he didn't just get a prescription for himself, he went and got one almost immediately. So I was under the impression he was just asking me to get the medicine for him as an excuse to see me, which I was always stoked on because I wanted to see him equally!

One summer night my entp sends me a drunken snap saying that we should fuck. He had never been so open about it (usually he was just hinting at it or being playful) and I was still in a relationship so I didn't respond with my secret mutual desire to fuck, instead I asked him a bit more about his open drunken expression. he said that he didn't want to tell me when he was sober because he was embarrassed? Is this embarrassed to want to have sex with me? Not sure??? Could this be because I was still in a relationship (though I wasn't secretive about it being an unhealthy one and have openly admitted to my entp that i have a tendency to enter and maintain unhealthy relationships)

This past February my entp and I were just talking and it got sexual, not necessarily sexting, but we were talking about sex in general. To when I weirdly and awkwardly professed my desire to fuck (at this point my entp knows that I require emotional connection to establish sexual connection) and he said it wasn't knews to him. Typical haha.

So we began sexting on top of the usual ne driven talks. And it wasn't until about June that I ended my serious relationship and told my entp that I wanted to try being in a casual sexual relationship with him (up to this point we have had literally zero physical contact of any kind). To which I found out he had moved across the country :'(
We've discussed our thoughts on our take on soul mates to video games to music. Just endless conversation. We run into a big disconnect because I'm a radical feminist and he sometimes doesn't agree with my views, I'm used to that though.

So I took the moving as it was, not much I can do.
We kept taking/sexting/nudesing until around July (?) when I simply (not trying to play games, over that shit) told him i was sad we couldn't be fuckbuddies he went off on this tangent about how I (infp) can't be in casual relationships and that I would be married by 26 and he would end up marrying someone he loves when he's 30 to make them feel secure. Blah blah how we would either get bored or attached, and I openly expressed that I was trying to be his fuckbuddy so I can work on my fuckbuddy skills in general (I've slept with 2 guys total and his number is double digits for sure). he agreed it would have been a fun time, but seemed so caught up on me being to emotionally attached even though I was explicitly stating I wasn't looking for that. And he has stated he's not looking to be close with a female. But I think we got close....
He would usually initiate convos with inquiries like "have you taken the mbti test?" "What sort of video games do you play?" "Do you still want this dick?"
Also once when sexting he mentioned that he would think about ways to fuck me when he would come to my house to pick up the medicine, but when I asked him if that was the motivation behind asking me to get it for him he flat out denied that. Lol ????

Anyway we were still texting / sexting after he told me those things until recently when he said he got annoyed with me after an argument about sexism and has ignored me ever since :/

Just need to vent/solicit any advice because?

Ultimately I think he's kinda immature but like my infp self sees the best in everyone and I'm still so caught up in how close we could be to being our true selves es around each other馃檭馃檭馃檭

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"I openly expressed that I was trying to be his fuckbuddy so I can work on my fuckbuddy skills in general"

That's...dumb ?

If he's ignoring you, well you can't do much about it. Try to contact him and see how he acts.
But I'm not even sure to understand the situation.

Communication, just ask him and if it's not clear, or he's not interested, move on. This guy seems immature as fuck.

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I had a similar situation with an ENTP last week. He is convinced I want a relationship with him, although I mentioned several times that I'm not in a position to start anything serious, since I intend to leave the country. I tried reasoning with him, mostly because I got annoyed by his rather inaccurate assumption, but he didn't seem to change his opinion. I guess that was his ticket out (of nothing :D).
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