Do you have natural leadership, or have you mastered the art of leadership that feeds your woman's brain the illusion that you are actually making decisions for you two when, in fact, you have no natural leadership. Or do you not initiate things at all, and let the woman decide ?
ENTP men, do you take the role of the leader when on a date with your girl?
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It depends on the girl ... and what I want from here. I'm more than capable of taking the lead in a dating situation, but I'll adapt as needed to get what I want.
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Tell me where the bug is and i will kill it
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I usually tricked them into leading.
"Where do you wanna go today?" (me)
"Oh I dunno."
"Where's this 'dunno'?"
"Just take me anywhere!"
"Kay, (2 seconds later), we're here"
and this'll keep going until they made up their minds.
Annoying I know, but I'm not one for mindgames, especially if it's obviously obvious they wanted to go to the beach.
"Where do you wanna go today?" (me)
"Oh I dunno."
"Where's this 'dunno'?"
"Just take me anywhere!"
"Kay, (2 seconds later), we're here"
and this'll keep going until they made up their minds.
Annoying I know, but I'm not one for mindgames, especially if it's obviously obvious they wanted to go to the beach.
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Yes I do. I am assertive, but not overly so. I keep my eyes and ears open for what they want to do/where they want to go, but ultimately I decide whether we do that or not. The best dates I've ever been on, though, were when she didn't provide any input, and I just took her somewhere.
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Most people, even men like to think they have choice, but prefer to be led. It's easier not to have responsibility.
I take the lead by offering a small range of choices- say two or three, making decisions immediately (we'll have the cabernet, thanks) while looking my partner in the eye as if to as "is this OK?", subtle hand gestures like the kind you use to invite people in; basically herding activity without the appearance of being pushy.
I take the lead by offering a small range of choices- say two or three, making decisions immediately (we'll have the cabernet, thanks) while looking my partner in the eye as if to as "is this OK?", subtle hand gestures like the kind you use to invite people in; basically herding activity without the appearance of being pushy.
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I take the lead naturally. You're kind of supposed to. EZ mode is something like, "Let me take you to dinner." followed by a, "Where do you want to eat?" or "What are you in the mood for?" and if they don't have an answer, "I was feeling tacos tonight, wanna go to Senior Bob's?"
As far as mannerisms go, I just feel them out, read the temperature in the room, and react on my perception of what I think she needs.
As far as mannerisms go, I just feel them out, read the temperature in the room, and react on my perception of what I think she needs.
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Its about how much decisive you can be (women like decisiveness).
A few years ago i was struggling a lot to be that (as a teen), i merely followed the flow to fit in. Then i came to hate that part of myself and stated to actually demsonstrate opinions and follow my own personal needs. Until it became a habit. Now im way more of a free spirited individual (boosted my confidence) but if its about going somewhere with the girl/woman, i would probably try to persuade her going somewhere i like, i will try to do it in a way i impress her by giving her some options.
Now if she aint into that and she is still worth hanging with, im going to ask some general questions to try to figure out what she likes and im going to choose the place we are more mutualy interested in (because its hard for me right now to actually go to places i despise just for the sake of someone else, she must be really special to do it once or twice).
Coming into mutual ground agrrements is kind of the style i tend to run my general relationships currently.
Most people are kind of selfish and prefer to go somewhere they are confortable with their group, without giving much of thought for something different. If i want to unite two different groups of people, im going to persuade each one to leave that confort zone just a little bit so they can meet in a mutual ground by making the same effort for something they both like, but arent much used to it to admit easily that they do.
A few years ago i was struggling a lot to be that (as a teen), i merely followed the flow to fit in. Then i came to hate that part of myself and stated to actually demsonstrate opinions and follow my own personal needs. Until it became a habit. Now im way more of a free spirited individual (boosted my confidence) but if its about going somewhere with the girl/woman, i would probably try to persuade her going somewhere i like, i will try to do it in a way i impress her by giving her some options.
Now if she aint into that and she is still worth hanging with, im going to ask some general questions to try to figure out what she likes and im going to choose the place we are more mutualy interested in (because its hard for me right now to actually go to places i despise just for the sake of someone else, she must be really special to do it once or twice).
Coming into mutual ground agrrements is kind of the style i tend to run my general relationships currently.
Most people are kind of selfish and prefer to go somewhere they are confortable with their group, without giving much of thought for something different. If i want to unite two different groups of people, im going to persuade each one to leave that confort zone just a little bit so they can meet in a mutual ground by making the same effort for something they both like, but arent much used to it to admit easily that they do.
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4,792 Posts
meh, I have natural leadership until I meat someone I consider an equal. and if I'm on a date with you... then I probably respect you enough to let you be your own person or take the lead.
Hard as it is to believe, sometimes it is nice to have a break from being the leader, adult, responsible person. So if I am on a date with you, I have a level of respect for you that doesn't require me to lead. and I don't care if the wife/girlfriend/whatever leads. especially covertly. it's more fun that way.
but as @GiovanNicholas said, if she decides that I ought to make the decision, for whatever reason, then that's ok. but I expect that she wouldn't blindly follow. I would expect her to desire me to explain the reasoning for my decision to her, so that she could understand what and why, and then be able to agree or disagree with it.
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:shocked:
So similar here too.
That said, I'm notorious for changing my mind on the fly even after I've set myself to commit to a plan - even for a dinner date. Half-way to the restaurant and I'm already wondering if we could go anywhere else. Passing by a particular restaurant that catches my interest and I'm like "maybe we can go there instead".
See shiny new thing and head straight in its direction. It's nerve-racking for my wife, but I think she handles it well enough. We do get into the occasional fights over something but I relent when I realize that it's something she really wants to do.
I enjoy it more when I know that she knows exactly what she wants to do --- allows me to relax from having to make all the fun plans all the time. I would probably get bored if I was with someone who always left the planning up to me. "Like do you even know what you want, woman?"
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probably the autocorrect. regardless, you still understood what I meant to type. so it obviously makes no difference how the word is spelled. right?
English is the easiest language to learn because it is so much more forgiving of mistakes, typos, and alike than most other languages.
prepare yourself, with every generation, with every foreigner that learns the language incompletely, the language becomes simpler to speak. just like how we no longer have gender. Eventually there won't be different verb conjugations either. etc.
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I know what you meant to say lol, but I have an unhealthy obsession with studying serial killers and that just created some really gory imagery in my head :laughing:
Something to do with Gandalf and a butcher knife.
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... wow ...
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Probably inferior Ni or something like that. I hear there is a correlation there. :bored:
Interesting thoughts on the dilution of language. Personally, I much prefer colloquial and slang over proper english anyways. But if there's an amusing typo, I will react to it lol.
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it's very interesting. It can go either way as well. English is becoming easier and easier. look at Black English (as linguist refer to it). It is a form of English that evolved out of adult (over the age of 3) African "immigrants" (slaves, actually. but they were not born in English), trying to learn the English language. they did the best anyone above the age of 3 could do. especially since education was mostly denied to them. Black English does have its own grammar. it isn't really a "stupid" English. Just a different one. It may sound annoying to the well-educated that a person say "I be going to the store"... but if you think about it, conjugating the verb "to be" isn't really all that necessary. Our educated English is wrong from a century ago. which was wrong to a century before it. and so forth.
adults learning English as a second language, learning in incompletely, and for some reason become the majority speakers so that their version takes over. that plus the natural evolution of language.
The natural evolution of a language. Where simplification can actually make the language more difficult. One such example is where consonants get softer till they drop off into oblivion. this can be nothing in English. But in one of the Chinese languages(I think), there are words where, to the untrained ear, the same sound means 3 completely different words. the trained ear notices that there is a difference and it is the inflection of the vowel. kind of hard to describe in writing. but you can figure it out once I explain how such a complicated thing evolved.
take the sound i as in it. i can mean 3 things depending on the inflection. what linguist believe is that the way this evolved is that at one time, it wasn't the vowel i, it was 3 individual words. like it, is, and ill. notice that while the i sound is the same, there is a different kind of inflection on the sound in each word. so if you drop the t, the s, and ll. you have just the same i, but three different kinds of i.
It's crazy! and absolutely fascinating!
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@Arrogantly Grateful
darn it you always do this. you read a post before I even get a chance to finish reading it myself. I've edited it.
darn it you always do this. you read a post before I even get a chance to finish reading it myself. I've edited it.
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