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This post is going to look really weird, and I know that. I also know that I'm sure this has been attempted many times with no results but I just want to be honest, it took a lot to be honest with myself, and if you want something you should try and get it, right? I know this is a long shot, but here goes.

I hope I don't get judged too harshly for this but recently I've been doing a lot of soul searching and I came to the realization that I want to be a stay at home dad. I know this may seem really weird coming from an ENTP, but after few of existential crises, some college, and a few life altering experiences I gained what some people call "a soul". I know this seems really weird to say, like I did not have a soul before, but I went through a really powerful transformation that changed the way I view the world.

So, what does this mean? Well, recently, I've noticed that I am really good with children, and I like them a lot. I know ENTPs get a bad rap for being permissive parents, but I'm graduating in May with a BS in psychology and a minor in philosophy, and a great deal of my psychology classes revolved around the lifespan, child development, and learning. I realized what I wanted with my life, and what would fulfill me, it was a incredible moment. I also realized that I although I have the skills to make a great deal of money, it's not necessarily something I want to pursue as a full time adventure.

There are a lot of reasons I would be an amazing father, and spouse, but I'm so tired of the dating game. I came to the realization that there is no such thing as "Soul mates" or any of that mess, but I do believe in true love and that some people are better for each other than others, but ultimately any relationship can work. In any case, that is not the point of this post, I want to be direct with what I want and I want to be direct for the start of my next relationship. So what I'm asking for here in this group is whether there are any INFJs out there (preferably mature, and older) that is looking forward to kids, and a good spouse, but wouldn't mind being the bread winner. Who would be okay having a guy be a stay at home dad? I'm not asking as a sort of "would you" I'm asking to be considered for this.
I'm tall (6'3"), I'm decent looking, broad shoulders, good genes, fun, intelligent, knowledgeable, and I can talk about just about anything. I've recently started to believe in a transcendent ground (god), but I do not really agree with any particular religion. I have beautiful curly hair, and I was adorable as a child, so my children will be adorable. I'm very healthy, I don't really drink, I don't smoke (I have socially, what ENTP hasn't?), and I walk regularly. I'm 25 years old, and fairly mature, I've always dated older women, and INFJs some as old as 27, and 31 (both when I was in my late teens, and for a long period of time). I know a lot about INFJs in general, and I know how to get them out of their moods, and comfort them (I've got about 6 years of INFJ dating experience). I'm very attentive, and I'm able to tide my obsessions, I'm very comfortable doing a great deal of child care, and I hope to do a lot of volunteer work one day. I'm kind, and gentle, and a very sensual and courteous lover. I will take my time in all the right ways. I'm an absolute catch, and I'm willing to relocate anywhere, and I'd love to travel. So, there's nothing that is really in the way of having a relationship.

I know this may seem desperate, but I'm really not, I just know what I want, and I want to start living my life in the direction that would best make me fulfilled. I've thought about this heavily and I do not have a doubt in my mind that whatever INFJ picks me up will be the happiest woman in the world. I'd also like to mention that I've gotten all the "straying" out of my system as well, college will do that to an ENTP. I also wanted to clarify, I am 25 and just graduating with my undergrad, but I took 3 years off of school for personal reasons.

The type of relationship I'm looking for is a very close intimate relationship without any games. I want to be completely transparent, which I know is difficult for a lot of INFJs but I'm totally worth it. I know it would be difficult at first as INFJs typically take a long time to court, but I'm willing to put in the time. I do not have baggage, but I do have expectations for growth, and what I mean is that I challenge my significant other to grow on multidimensional levels (in a natural steady way). I really understand serious relationships, and I know what derails them, and what makes them succeed. I want a person who is willing to be communicative, and thoughtful, and to be very open and straight forward when problems arise in the relationship, and they will, but that's just a fact of life.

I guess as a side note, my family has a long life expectancy and not many illnesses run in my family. I am also a direct descendent of a few centennials. My mother is from the Caribbean, and my father is African American, height also runs in my family on both sides, I have many cousins and uncles above 6'3", I'm actually rather short for my family. Please send me a message if you would like to talk and get to know each other, I love talking, and could talk about anything for hours. I know this comes off as being really strange, but the times are seriously changing in the world, and the workforce has really increased with driven women (especially INFJS), and I know a few INFJs who wouldn't mind at all being the financial provider. I'm not a gold digger, I just know what I want, and I'm tired of trying to date people to find someone who wants the same thing. It's also frustrating because it's hard for me to be partly in a relationship, not that I'm clingy or crazy, but when I decide to be with someone, I've usually made that decision wholeheartedly. I would also like to mention that I have interests in pretty much everything, and I'm not high maintenance at all (not that I would expect any ENTP to be), and I'm okay with a fair amount of high maintenance in my partner (I've dated many INFJS). And obviously we would have to be attractive to each other, body wise, I don't have much of a preference as long as you've got a healthy diet, I know INFJs have a habit of binge dieting, I'm okay with this as long as it's not detrimental, but you must have a pretty face! Which most INFJs do anyways.

Finally you might ask, why INFJs? because there is a connection that I make with every INFJ that I have ever met that I want in a partner, especially one I might be thinking about having kids with. INFJs are also amazing mothers, kind, smart, and usually know a lot of about raising children, they also do not have the habit of becoming the child's friend instead of their parent. INFJs are also some of the deepest thinkers I have ever met, and I really enjoy the conversations, and if there is any single feature I value more in a mate is the ability to hold a conversation, and understand me.

Anyways, I hope I get some responses, and I also hope you guys do not think I am super strange for being so direct and blunt about all this. And of course it wouldn't be some sort of rushed thing, I just really want to get to know people who are looking for the same things I am. I'm not really super crazy into the ENTP/INFJ match, but I like it a lot, I do not have tunnel vision, and I did not want to give off that vibe. If you have any questions or comments please let me know, I'd love to hear anything INFJs have to say about this, and I'm open to any conversation with INFJs even if you have no interest in my love connection. Thank you all for reading what I have had to say, and I really hope this gets received well.

TL;DR: ENTP wants to be the supportive one in a relationship with an older, wise financially stable INFJ because he realize and became honest with himself about what he wants in life. The ENTP is also okay with just getting to know more INFJs in general, and wants to share his experiences with other INFJs.
 

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I think a bit more tact could have been employed here. Not sure if making this your first post was the best course of action, anyways good luck.
 

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Good luck to you! I'm taken, but rooting for you all the way.



Additionally, you seem like an ENFP to me. Are you sure of your type?
 
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Whoa. That took courage. Mucho respect. But try to understand that Infj's are easily startled. Easy come, easy go. ;)

The direct is best while already IN a relationship. Nonetheless ... I seriously wish you the best!
 
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