@Ann Kane and
@Rosie4491,
I'm going to paint you a picture.
There was once a man named Sebastian (NiFe) and a woman named Elliott (ENTP).
Elliott was a firey and passionate artist. Her passion led her to paint what she saw and as a result, her artwork was highly controversial. Her art shows were thrown out of galleries, banned from shows, which fanned the flames of her fame and popularity which were spreading throughout the world.
The more famous she became, the more difficult it was for Elliott to tap into her muse. She decided to get away from it all and take up an art class at a local university, hoping to reconnect with her roots and discover what was missing.
While in art class, she caught the glance of a man across the room. He flashed her a warm smile. He was watching her. Elliott wondered if, perhaps, this man had what she was looking for. Perhaps he had the missing piece that she needed to re-ignite the passion and brilliance in her work that she had once known.
Elliott struck up a conversation and the two quickly became friends. His name was Sebastian and he exuded a softness, a kindness, Elliott had never witnessed before in a man. He was fascinated by everything she did and she loved the attention. She felt like nobody had ever understood the true yearnings of her heart before Sebastian. For the first time, she felt like someone finally understood what she was saying.
At first there appeared to be no problems. This was perfect. Speaking through the night about philosophers, drinking wine under the stars, painting what they saw and knew.
Then, Elliott showed him her portfolio. The works she was most proud of. The works that revealed her true soul.
Sebastian felt they were too loud, too controversial, "Perhaps, you need to learn how to tone it down," he told her.
Elliott didn't know what to say. Calming down was never an idea that had occurred to her. She had hoped that he would help her reconnect with her vibrant passion. She considered the notion and thought to herself: Maybe Sebastian is right. Maybe calming down is what I need to reconnect with my vibrant passion. Maybe it's one of those inherent contradictions of life itself.
So, Elliott decided to try calming down and being more polite. She toned down the color schemes in her next painting, deciding only to use dull colors: grey, brown-grey, olive-grey, etc.
Her paintings became monstrosities. She slashed them, forgot them. As she toned herself down, she was slowly destroying the last embers of her passion. Every day that went by she became more hollow, more quiet, more lifeless.
One day she woke up and in the bathroom mirror she saw the sparkle had left her eyes. Her first wrinkle appeared along her forehead. Dark circles appeared under her eyes. And she realized, her life was passing her by.
That night, when Sebastian picked her up for their Wednesday night ritual of going to their familiar restaurant and then making fun of everything everyone ever tried to do, he found her standing behind the door with her hair dyed a vibrant blue.
Sebastian grimaced, "What did you do to your hair?"
"Isn't it great?" she said.
"I think you might be regressing," said Sebastian, "Maybe you should see a shrink."
Throughout the night, Elliott started to see the way that Sebastian talked down to her as he worried about whether or not she could truly take care of herself. He suggested that she seek out therapy, calm down, be normal, be more organized, become a complete person which required conformity.
And she realized that day by day he was sucking the confidence, that fire, out of her body. The light was dying out.
Elliott stood up.
"Where are you going?" said Sebastian.
"Out," she said.
And she left him there in the restaurant and broke up with him via text. Followed by nights and nights of binge drinking to wash away the damage that had been done.
When she came back to her senses, she found what she had been missing all along. The contrast between her true self and the self Sebastian wanted her to be reignited her artistic passion. Within a few years, she reached the highest point in her career. Her artwork was so controversial, she was banned from entering over thirteen countries throughout the globe.
She eventually died at the ripe old age of seventy-two when a dictator hired a hit man to take her out. Really, she couldn't have asked for anything more.
