[LifeUnderTheSheets_ENTP]

...I'm with and INFP, for a little over a year. Got alot to say about it, but I figure I'll see what everybody has to say about it. Long story short - she's quiteeee a handful lol. Anybody else got experience with it, or know much about INFP's? It's one of those "Can't live with or without you" type deals, I about ended it a few weeks ago.

 

[SpilledMilk]

INFPs are sometimes OK in my book. I've dated a few.

The one that I was most serious with is of only average looks, and honestly, I need a girl to be at least a 6 or above. I know it sounds callous and shallow for me to say this, but looks are one of the major departments in how most men qualify women, and I just want to be honest and upfront about it. I broke it off partly because she annoyed me and... her hotness wasn't enough to compensate for it.

Annoying. Now there's another callous word I'm throwing out. I'm absolutely sure I'm annoying to many people as well.

She's probably perfect for someone who can appreciate her depth and charm. But for me, I found it stifling. I know that INFPs are generally free spirits, but the more I got annoyed and distant, the more I sensed her desperation, which turned into a feedback loop. Not good.

She found almost every aspect of who I am a total turn-on. Even when she called me a "total asshole" and realized I'm quite cold and calculating when necessary. But I just couldn't return what she needed -- a commitment to the relationship; I bailed because I knew that in the long term, if I were to stay with her, I'd be unsatisfied because we weren't on the same page with reciprocal levels of attraction. We were especially not on the same intellectual level; she viewed my thoughts and theories as building blocks for attraction, and would respond with some total emotional BS (from my subjective point of view) that made me think she's a total ditz (which she's not, but when I say things like "I think some people are such wastes of life that they should just be rendered into fertilizer to serve society better", you can imagine her F-based reaction).

Hope this rambling sheds some light on one male ENTP's experiences with a female INFP.

 

[skawdebeast]

She's probably perfect for someone who can appreciate her depth and charm. But for me, I found it stifling. I know that INFPs are generally free spirits, but the more I got annoyed and distant, the more I sensed her desperation, which turned into a feedback loop. Not good.

Whoa.


Wait... so who did the initial approaching/expressed interest first, she or you?

 

[SpilledMilk]

...who did the initial approaching/expressed interest first, she or you?

Yours truly. But I got bored and annoyed as described above. I might not be speaking for all ENTP males, but I maintain a frame of mild ambivalence until I've decided to commit for good (not just with this particular INFP girl, but in general). This lends cool-headed clarity to my evaluating whether someone is (and whether I am) really compatible in the long run.

 

[Joonas]

We were especially not on the same intellectual level; she viewed my thoughts and theories as building blocks for attraction, and would respond with some total emotional BS (from my subjective point of view) that made me think she's a total ditz (which she's not, but when I say things like "I think some people are such wastes of life that they should just be rendered into fertilizer to serve society better", you can imagine her F-based reaction).

I have no opinion about INFP's or the relationship you had, I'm just wondering about what you meant here. Emotional bullshit? Is that your general opinion about F-based reactions, or are there other hopefully more positive categories?

I'm asking because I'm quite different in this aspect. Since I can do a lot of accurate unbiased calculating on my own, I'm not interested in another persons calculations. I'm more interested in connecting the dots by myself and have people bring me more dots to work with, and responses based on emotions do just that.

 

[cyamitide]

INFPs and ENTPs are in relations of supervision. INFP supervises the ENTP which long-term can get quite uncomfortable for the ENTP.

 

[Tainted Streetlight]

My longest relationship to date has been with a girl I expect to be an INFP (she was an acclaimed INFJ but her life was in total disarray).

I'll say one thing. We did a lot of sexual exploration.

Other than that, I got incredibly fed up with her. At the end of six months the little things she did drove me insane to the point I wanted to actually do physical harm upon her. Not the best of times. Breaking up with her wasn't easy. She was so clingy that it was hard to move away. At this point I was her only real friend and she clung on to me like I was her last breath of life. She cried a lot.

Altogether I'm incredibly glad I ended it. Waaaaay too much emotional baggage.



...maybe she was a J, no clue.

 

[drmiller100]

infp makes an interesting acquaintenance, even a friend.

pretty tough to make a FWB out of it, and WAAAAAAAAAAAAY too much work to be a GF.

Good luck.

 

[Tridentus]

INFP women do take a lot of work- especially since the ones i've met seem to have avoidance issues.. although having said that i've met a couple who were VERY emotionally mature for their age.

it's funny though they are by far more interested in you when you aren't willing to put that work in. oh wait- that's all women

 

[DarkSideOfLight]

LOL I couldn't hear the last dreamy INFP I have met half of the time. Wait, it wasn't just the last one.
I just don't think this pairing ENTP-INFP is for me.

 

[LiquidLight]

The biggest issue here (assuming she's properly typed as INFP) is Fe vs Fi. That's where the rubber meets the road in this equation. ENTPs have somewhat inconsistent Fe and INFPs are Fi-doms, so this can be a recipe for issues, even if on the surface the two get along.

Also the Ti/Te difference is less pronounced but INFP might begin to get annoyed at the ENTP who sets out to accomplish something and then decides "the hell with it," this might likely ruffle the feathers of inferior-Te in INFP (something of a defense mechanism as they aren't necessarily all that action oriented either so people project their flaws onto the other person).

That being said two strong Ne-types should be reasonably good together as they at least see the world the same way. Of course there are no hard and fast rules and every relationship is different and everyone has different levels of development. But I think the better match for ENTP (because of shared Fe/Ti) is probably INFJ. Here you get enough differences to make it interesting, but enough similarities in the right places to not want to choke the other person.

 

[the3rdpower]

Ugh... Fi... Fi explosions make me sick. INFPs are not for me. Neither are ENFPs... The only NFs I can take are INFJs and that is because although squirrelly with Fe they have Ti which keeps me entertained. ENFJs are also a big blah. I'm far too picky now days I suppose.

 

[Belovodia]

Well, I'll give you one INFP's perspective:

I actually had an interesting/entertaining relationship with an ENTP but he
got too needy for me - had to let him go.

I think, as I've aged and matured I've become extremely independent and
don't really need a relationship; in fact, I think I'm much happier alone than
in one.

 

[gaudy316]

ENTP guys I know are more interested in Fe girls over Fi girls. ENTP girls I know think I'm too wishy-washy. I think the ENTP-INFP relationship has its pros and cons like other relationships, but I believe both the ENTPs and INFPs will eventually convince themselves that there are better choices out there.

 

[dejavu]

I can give you some early thoughts on the ENTP with xNFP relationship. There's this dude I'm kinda interested in that's an xNFP...but I'm quickly losing interest, to be honest. It's just been too weird. It's hard to explain but it feels like he is playing games, and not doing it well, because I pick up on it instantly. And he keeps texting me random words and when I ask him about it, he just says something retarded. It feels like I'm talking to a 5-year-old.

He's cooler in person, but I've noticed he talks about himself 95% of the time. Also, I think I intimidate him. I don't think this weirdness will continue for long.

 

[Phoedolyn]

What if the INFP has a strong Ne or Te? Does this change the dynamic a bit? I seem to get on quite well with ENTPs although definitely not in a romantic capacity. At times, the cold calculating and heartless comments are quite funny. They seem to provide a relief from my usual "weep-for-humanity" routine.
Also, I've seen some ENTPs actually break down emotionally in a very public way. Is this Ne?

 

[Sakoro]

I read this thread with interest as I'm an INFP slowly entering a relationship with an ENTP. I met him last December and we've been through many rounds of him saying something and me taking it the wrong way. I don't talk to him for a few weeks and eventually it blows over and we're having a great time again. As time goes on, I trust him more and understand his sarcasm and this happens less frequently.

I'm in my mid-30s now and there is definitely no way I could have gotten together with an ENTP 10 years ago. I was way too sensitive and would have taken everything the wrong way. I was with a INTJ for a six years and that definitely thickened my skin. I think I have a thing for NTs.

The biggest issue we're having right now is that both of us overthink everything. I overthink emotions while he overanalyzes situations. Is there anyone else out there in a INFP-ENTP couple? Any tips on breaking through the overthinking thing?
Hugs and smooches (cuz I know you guys hate that :tongue

 

[Musician6120]

I was involved with an ENTP. The reason it ended had absolutely nothing to do with personality type but emotional turmoil and immaturity on the part of the ENTP. We had a lot of fun together. We shared interests and could talk for hours. For him, I was thicker skinned and for me, he was nicer. I don't believe either was a challenge for us. I think it could have worked out well had his emotions been stable. Even years after it ended, seeing me sends him in a spin. Last year we saw each other before a big move and he stayed and talked with me as much as he could til the move. After it seemed like he didn't want to have anything to do with me. His cousin said he just needed to gather his composure and organize his feelings for me since he's been with someone else for years now. I don't get it. Again, with 2 healthy, mature people, I think it's a great pairing-a lot of happy times.

 

[Poetic_Anarchy]

INFPs hunt down people who talk about them.

But on topic, I read this post because I'm in a relationship with an INFP, and I research topics I care about. We've been dating for 6 months with no major problems. We actually get along great. The most important thing is communication about everything.

 

[MegaTuxRacer]

What if the INFP has a strong Ne or Te? Does this change the dynamic a bit? I seem to get on quite well with ENTPs although definitely not in a romantic capacity. At times, the cold calculating and heartless comments are quite funny. They seem to provide a relief from my usual "weep-for-humanity" routine.
Also, I've seen some ENTPs actually break down emotionally in a very public way. Is this Ne?

No. Both types have to be mature and well-rounded people in general. Otherwise, we clash. I have met one INFP so far that I don't just butt heads with all the time.