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We met online on a dating site 1.5 months ago. Among the hundreds of other guys there, it was only with this guy that I felt that instant, mutual attraction. After about a week of chatting there we exchanged numbers and from day one whoa! There were sparks everywhere. He's a research scholar and I'm pursuing my higher studies. We're from two different cities, so we planned to meet asap because we felt like we'd known each other all our life. I told him that I finally felt as though I'd met a male version of myself given all his energy, passion, interest, boldness, similar interests and values. But there were a few problems - 1. I made it clear from day one that I'll never get into anything serious and intimate if there won't be commitment and he'd got out of a a one-year, intense relationship only a month ago when we met, so he said that he was not ready for a serious relationship anytime soon as he said he didn't have the energy or the time to give the partner and that it won't be fair to the girl if he got into one, and 2. He's doing his research, which he says keeps him occupied all the time, plus he also lives in a hostel sharing 2 rooms with 3 other guys, so he has not much privacy, so he's frustrated on most days. For the first two weeks, the conversations were so full of life and passion, but slowly it all began disappearing, and I felt as though I would be talking to a robot.

Note: On day one, he said, "we'll make a pact; no matter what transpires between us, we'll always be there for each other all our life." A few days later I added to the pact, "Also, let's make it a point to keep at least minimal communication going between us even on our worst days, so that we'll know that the other is doing fine." (For both of us, some days can be too stressful, esp for him, and we live in two different cities. It's like an LDR.) He happily agreed. We've agreed that we'll be completely honest and transparent with each other, so he calls me or I call him almost everyday and he asks me about my day, and I ask him about his - on some days, he shows real interest and cares like a true friend, and on some days, it's like he can't wait to end the call, but he still insists that he's not talking to me regularly out of compulsion but because he likes talking to me.

I knew 2 weeks was too early but still I asked him what exactly it is that's going on between us - friendship or love. His response was something like this: "I can't be in a relationship with not just you but anyone now. After the last relationship, I have no energy to give anyone and because of my thesis, I don't have time even for myself. It won't be fair. And you know that I like you a lot. I don't talk to anyone else this often and I've not bonded with anyone else this soon. You are always special to me. We are highly compatible. I'm really blessed to have you in my life. We're more than friends, definitely, and you know it. If you ever face any serious issue in life, let me know, and I'll drop everything here and reach out to you asap. I have always got your back... For now, we'll call this ... ummm... Friendship. It's good you brought this up; at least now we're clear. We share this very strong bond of friendship and I want nothing to jeopardize that."

It felt odd, to not have a proper label, call it friendship and still exchange romantic and/or sexual feelings for each other. When I addressed this, he said, "so what do you say we should do? Okay, for now, we'll keep romance and sex out of the equation." I agreed. From the very next day, i had to struggle with it a bit for a few days, but he began talking as though we were always friends and only friends. Both of us respect each other, so it went good.

But soon, some misunderstanding/miscommunication happened. Once when I was about to say "you're the only guy with whom I can be so mentally close and still not worry about the sex/intimacy thing coming in the way" but before that he misunderstood something I said and still expressed his sexual interest in a joking way. (That was only once, but no sex-talk after that.) After that things are awkward. Yes, we still talk almost everyday. He deleted his account on that dating site saying, "I don't need that anymore. It's a distraction for me. All that I want, I'm getting from you." but told me that I could date other guys and he'd be happy if I met a compatible person there. he's made it clear that I'm not a rebound. He says he doesn't have any romantic feelings for his ex anymore but the two are still in touch; it seems that occasionally she'd call/text him and he'd respond because he's concerned for her as a friend.

1. He talks/acts like a friend, but still has romantic/sexual feelings for me. He expressed it jokingly once after saying we'll call it friendship for now.
2. He says he's over his ex (I have no jealousy there) but still 2-3 months is supposed to be a short time, right? I'm still not sure.
3. He tries his best to keep me happy and satisfied, like by calling me regularly and listening/offering his opinions when I discuss my academic/personal issues with him.
4. He says he has no problem if I date other guys but I can sense that every time I tell him about some other guy I met on that site he feels somewhat uneasy.
5. He's really afraid of losing me and is terrified of conflict. Once we had a small argument and he apologized repeatedly that night and asked me repeatedly, "will you please forgive me?".
6. He got slightly upset with me when i told him not to skip meals and do some physical exercise everyday. When I asked him repeatedly if he was taking proper care of himself, he said that he felt as though I was nagging him (that's when we had the argument) but later he takes proper care of himself and has promised me that he'll never smoke weed anymore because "you want me to gym and exercise regularly, right? that's why i'm doing it." Lol!
7. earlier he seemed to be really interested in our first meeting, but now it's getting repeatedly postponed. He says he's busy, can't get leave (he has taken a week's leave to go see his parents this week, though) and doesn't have money because they've not credited his stipend yet. Still, occasionally he says that when we meet he's confident that we'll hug, kiss and cuddle.

Two of my guy friends told me that this seems like he wants FWB kind of relationship with me, but he knows very well that I'll not entertain all that. He truly respects me, so he'll not try to get me into a fling or something... He's been busy lately, so communication is not that great recently. Now what does he want? Because he's very sensitive and may take things too personally, I don't want to ask him straight away. Is he interested (is this an ISFP's way of expressing love) or not? He expects me to chase him and make some bold moves or does he want to be left alone? Have any of you ISFP's been in a relationship with ENTPs? What was your experience?
 

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No experience with ENTPs like that but I'll still gonna answer.

I think you are overanalyzing it a little, in as it is like he says: You mean really much to him. He has romantic/sexual feelings for you. But I guess he's still in a way recovering from his last relationship? But you obviously mean a lot to him and thats all you need to know. Labelling things just complicates things for him.
Its like, he knows you want commitment and all he knows is that he wants you but doesn't want to commit. I can relate to that and can see it being an ISFP thing.

We are really aware of our feelings and in the moment. His uneasiness about committing openly and willingness to treat it friendship-y I could actually interpret as a sign that he really does care a lot. I'd guess FWB really be his ideal scenario because then he could act on his romantic feelings for you while not having to commit cause he knows that you'd want that from him if so.
He could just be like "aight, lets call it a real relationship if she wants that" but he doesn't cause he doesn't want to hurt you if it turns out hes not ready or whatever (thats the part where I cant know exactly where his insecruities lay). He realizes that its a little unfair that he doesn't want to commit yet and thats why hes giving you this freedom cause its only fair etc.
But hes giving it to you *because* he prolly really cares. When he says he just wants you to be happy he prolly means that. And I'd say there's nothing he wants more than being that person that makes you happy but something is making him not want to commit yet. My point is its not his feelings for you that are the problem. You'd have to specifically ask him about this.
 

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Even though I'm from a different background, I'll share my $0.02

- As for being busy for the thesis, that I can relate to as a freshman in university. If my priorities were to get the assignment sorted, everything personal gets demolished to make way to complete the task.

- Getting over the previous relationship in 2 to 3 months. Not incomprehensible given that ISFPs tend to just look and behave at "the now"

"I have no energy to give anyone and because of my thesis, I don't have time even for myself. It won't be fair. And you know that I like you a lot. I don't talk to anyone else this often" - If I had said that to someone, I either enjoy the person's company and I want him/her to stay or highly value being with that person. It's a way of saying you really are something to me

"Two of my guy friends told me that this seems like he wants FWB kind of relationship with me" - While you can't rule this out, his actions are what I too would've done. If I like a lady that much, I'd want to let her know how much she means to me. Yet due to the current circumstances, I can't commit as per "standard relationship stuff" that society expects. I'd like to see her be happy and keep her options open leading to "told me that I could date other guys and he'd be happy if I met a compatible person there. he's made it clear that I'm not a rebound"

"It felt odd, to not have a proper label, call it friendship and still exchange romantic and/or sexual feelings for each other." - At least in my life, plenty of things that people find weird/odd are perfectly fine in my book of common sense, just that people expect to conform to societal norms.

"
When I asked him repeatedly if he was taking proper care of himself" - I myself would find it annoying overtime; like how do you think I managed my daily life before we met?
 

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Nothing can be explained about that from a MBTI standpoint, I suggest you trust what your inituition tells you.
If you need an outside opinion, he seems like he is a person who is afraid of commitment.
 

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Discussion Starter #5
Yeah, that much I'm sure of - he really cares a lot for me. And that's exactly why I can't leave him or even feel comfortable about being my natural blunt, direct, aggressive self with him mostly. It's just that I'm quite cautious because I don't want anyone to have the opportunity to play with my feelings (he knows that very well, too) and regret wasting my time on a player, but not having a proper label sucks - because the way I'd treat him if he would be a friend and only a friend would be greatly different from how I'd treat someone I'd be in a relationship with (only in this case would I be so conscious of his health).

Even after the argument over him telling me that he didn't want to nag me, lol, in the end he told me, "What an asshole I've been for not understanding how much you care for me! Please forgive me, dear. Hereafter only you have the exclusive right to 'nag' me but use it wisely." (LOL, here I laughed out loud, but he said that in a very serious way!)
 

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Yeah, that much I'm sure of - he really cares a lot for me. And that's exactly why I can't leave him or even feel comfortable about being my natural blunt, direct, aggressive self with him mostly. It's just that I'm quite cautious because I don't want anyone to have the opportunity to play with my feelings (he knows that very well, too) and regret wasting my time on a player, but not having a proper label sucks - because the way I'd treat him if he would be a friend and only a friend would be greatly different from how I'd treat someone I'd be in a relationship with (only in this case would I be so conscious of his health).

Even after the argument over him telling me that he didn't want to nag me, lol, in the end he told me, "What an asshole I've been for not understanding how much you care for me! Please forgive me, dear. Hereafter only you have the exclusive right to 'nag' me but use it wisely." (LOL, here I laughed out loud, but he said that in a very serious way!)
 
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