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So after a few years of not dating after my divorce, I am finally dipping my toe into the pool lol for lack of a better expression. I decided to try online dating just to see what kinds of guys there are out there, and so far, it hasn't been too pretty. All I have is some photos, profiles, and chatting with some guys here and there, and so far out of over a 100 that have contacted me, in a week and a half, I'm not seeing anyone interesting.

Either it's something about the way they look, or after chatting back and forth, the way they express themselves or don't know how to (in writing maybe). In real life, I was always pretty selective with attraction, and personality and it usually worked out that I had some really good relationships, but now it seems like it's beyond a challenge to click with anyone interesting. I am older now though, so I realize this may make me even more selective than when I was younger. (Then again, maybe online stuff isn't a good idea for me.) But anyway, it made me wonder, (whether you are younger i.e. in your twenties or older), are you pretty picky about selecting your romantic partner? I mean, it's not just looks, it's personality, intelligence, humour.. too! Is this excessive choosiness an ENTP thing?:shocked:
 

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I'm extraordinarily picky. I've tried to "force" myself into being attracted to someone (just to see what would happen), and I ended up miserable. Luckily she knew it too and we were over in less than 3 weeks.

I think as an ENTP e7 what I look for the most in people is the ability to keep up, mentally. I find it very very attractive if I can shoot back and forth with you at breakneck speeds, all while being meta-aware of the situation.

The only good story I've heard from sites like OkC and Plenty of Fish is my buddy's ex-bro (he's a shithead, long story) met his current gf on Plenty of Fish. He's 20 and a struggling college student, she's a 24 year old racially ambiguous M->F tranny who also happens to be a bajillionaire (she bought him a $4,000 watch after 2 weeks!).
 

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I think as an ENTP e7 what I look for the most in people is the ability to keep up, mentally. I find it very very attractive if I can shoot back and forth with you at breakneck speeds, all while being meta-aware of the situation.
I find that's the biggest thing too. It seems a lot of people on online dating are extremely introverted to the point of being anti-social so they turn to online dating. They are also very boring in their lives with narrow interests and lack the inability to keep up mentally.

she's a 24 year old racially ambiguous M->F tranny
There's surprising a lot of those on there. Unless they are fully converted to one gender or another there really should be another gender section for them to easily sort them out. I'm happy most of them advertise it so you can click hide on their profiles. There's one I met on there that I talk to from time to time and it's interesting to get their perspectives on things. Just the whole chicks with a dick thing weirds me out.
 

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I find that's the biggest thing too. It seems a lot of people on online dating are extremely introverted to the point of being anti-social so they turn to online dating. They are also very boring in their lives with narrow interests and lack the inability to keep up mentally.



There's surprising a lot of those on there. Unless they are fully converted to one gender or another there really should be another gender section for them to easily sort them out. I'm happy most of them advertise it so you can click hide on their profiles. There's one I met on there that I talk to from time to time and it's interesting to get their perspectives on things. Just the whole chicks with a dick thing weirds me out.
She doesn't have a "dick." What she DOES have is an elongated clitoris. No vagina. This kid has fucked his girlfriend up the butt and given her a reach around.

I hope you'll understand that this will never get old for me.
 

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It seems that all intellect/rational temperaments tend to look for someone who they consider their intellectual equal. We seem to end up seeking out other intuitive personalities as a result, which unfortunately are few and far between. If we do end up with a sensor it's very likely that their IQ is at very least in the 110s+ if not pushing into the gifted range. I think ENTPs tend to lean more towards intellectual cunning than anything else. I know I always had a very specific idea of what I looked for in a potential S.O. and if a woman didn't fit the profile I tended to move on very quickly.

My advice - don't worry about finding a "date" and instead immerse yourself in your interests. If you're a geek (like me) start going to Cons and Ren Faires, if you're into sailing see if there's a boat club in your area, if you like sports start going to games and talking to people there, etc. Make "friends" with the people who share your interests, they'll have other friends who like the same things and those friends will have other friends with similar interests. Finding your way in to more and more social circles will fill up your social calender and eventually you'll meet someone who you're interested in. Guarantee it's a lot more fun than staring at a bunch of people, who may or may not be who / what they claim, on a computer screen.
 

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It's funny how similar INTPs and ENTPs are, but occasionally there will be a stark contrast. I think the INTP curse is "settling" too fast with someone for security. (Sterotypically speaking.) I used OKCupid twice and settled (the first one I was just an idiot, as I didn't see her for who she really was), and fortunately now it seems my current relationship (a great woman, but SF fail) seems to be "realizing reality."

Honestly the INTP has the same goals: find an intelligent partner that takes advantage of Ti in one way or another. (I would say "preferably intuitive-thinkers," but I think the real focus is "the use of Ti creatively." (INFJs and xSTPs.) Unfortunately for most INTPs, we don't develop a strong social "understanding" as quickly as the ENTPs do, and thus tend to "settle," the frustrations and "scariness" of dating being overwhelming.

Now that I'm older, I will be taking the advice of a few who've already said: don't bank on online dating sites. If you want to utilize the interwebs, that's fine: go to a meetup service of some sort and meet with people of similar interest.
 

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l find someone who is good at expressing themselves through writing to be attractive.

That said, l've had best friends and significant others who's writing l rarely or never saw, so meeting people online is interesting for that reason. l generally think a person will be at least slightly more interesting in real life, my experience has been that l get the full effect in person.

l don't know if it's pickiness. l just don't date people l don't like, which l believe many people do...they may ''like'' them but it's largely about projecting their own bullsh*t onto the other person and ignoring huge flaws.

For that reason, l've definitely dated fewer people, that l would consider to be of higher quality :kitteh:
 

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So after a few years of not dating after my divorce, I am finally dipping my toe into the pool lol for lack of a better expression. I decided to try online dating just to see what kinds of guys there are out there, and so far, it hasn't been too pretty. All I have is some photos, profiles, and chatting with some guys here and there, and so far out of over a 100 that have contacted me, in a week and a half, I'm not seeing anyone interesting.

Either it's something about the way they look, or after chatting back and forth, the way they express themselves or don't know how to (in writing maybe). In real life, I was always pretty selective with attraction, and personality and it usually worked out that I had some really good relationships, but now it seems like it's beyond a challenge to click with anyone interesting. I am older now though, so I realize this may make me even more selective than when I was younger. (Then again, maybe online stuff isn't a good idea for me.) But anyway, it made me wonder, (whether you are younger i.e. in your twenties or older), are you pretty picky about selecting your romantic partner? I mean, it's not just looks, it's personality, intelligence, humour.. too! Is this excessive choosiness an ENTP thing?:shocked:
I've never been a part of online dating, and when think about it, too much is missing. Words aren't enough, 90% of human interaction is through body language, so there is a vital part of online communication that is missing. Tone of voice can be deceiving also. Personally i like it up close and personal, that way it eliminates possible misunderstandings. At your age you will be more selective when choosing a mate. You have experience and likely skip through all the BS. I wish you luck, and if you can take the time and energy to put yourself out there in real time, i think it will be better in the long run.
 
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It seems that all intellect/rational temperaments tend to look for someone who they consider their intellectual equal. We seem to end up seeking out other intuitive personalities as a result, which unfortunately are few and far between. If we do end up with a sensor it's very likely that their IQ is at very least in the 110s+ if not pushing into the gifted range. I think ENTPs tend to lean more towards intellectual cunning than anything else. I know I always had a very specific idea of what I looked for in a potential S.O. and if a woman didn't fit the profile I tended to move on very quickly.

My advice - don't worry about finding a "date" and instead immerse yourself in your interests. If you're a geek (like me) start going to Cons and Ren Faires, if you're into sailing see if there's a boat club in your area, if you like sports start going to games and talking to people there, etc. Make "friends" with the people who share your interests, they'll have other friends who like the same things and those friends will have other friends with similar interests. Finding your way in to more and more social circles will fill up your social calender and eventually you'll meet someone who you're interested in. Guarantee it's a lot more fun than staring at a bunch of people, who may or may not be who / what they claim, on a computer screen.
^I really like this. Wit and intelligence can be a turn on but if I am speaking to someone who seems very aware of the world around them, uses rational more than emotion, thinks differently, and approaches problem in an unconventional manner I am hooked. If you like online dating I wish you the best but I could never see myself being able to approach it. It is almost like a blind date in my eyes. Also something I have learned is I can sometimes reject a person because of their social persona. There is a girl I know that I really never thought much of but one night we sat down and had a conversation which left me blown away. Her social persona was cool but kind of suggested she was a ditz. When I spoke with her I found her to be very aware of the world around her, she favored rationality over emotion, she thought outside the box, and her approach to problems were unconventional. It is always worth digging a little deeper if you can the social persona is deceiving in some cases.
 

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^I really like this. Wit and intelligence can be a turn on but if I am speaking to someone who seems very aware of the world around them, uses rational more than emotion, thinks differently, and approaches problem in an unconventional manner I am hooked. If you like online dating I wish you the best but I could never see myself being able to approach it. It is almost like a blind date in my eyes. Also something I have learned is I can sometimes reject a person because of their social persona. There is a girl I know that I really never thought much of but one night we sat down and had a conversation which left me blown away. Her social persona was cool but kind of suggested she was a ditz. When I spoke with her I found her to be very aware of the world around her, she favored rationality over emotion, she thought outside the box, and her approach to problems were unconventional. It is always worth digging a little deeper if you can the social persona is deceiving in some cases.
When it comes to a public persona I tend to be flashy, boisterous, and / or flamboyant. It's led to, on more than a few occasions, people saying things to me like "Seeing you around I would have sworn you were gay, but after talking to you I realized you're no where near as effeminate as you seem." or "You've got to be one of the smartest people I know, but you never show it. Why is that?" I love it when I get to talking to people and they bust out with some profound insight from out of no where.
 

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If you’re picky, why did you pick the wrong husband, and why can’t you pick from 1000s of men? The advantage of online dating is that you can find people that you wouldn’t meet in real life, but not to judge them before you meet them! Personally, I didn’t like OLD because they all turned out much BIGGER than their photos, so my conclusion, OLD is for fatties.:tongue:
 

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When it comes to a public persona I tend to be flashy, boisterous, and / or flamboyant. It's led to, on more than a few occasions, people saying things to me like "Seeing you around I would have sworn you were gay, but after talking to you I realized you're no where near as effeminate as you seem." or "You've got to be one of the smartest people I know, but you never show it. Why is that?" I love it when I get to talking to people and they bust out with some profound insight from out of no where.
I agree. I think as ENTP's we of all people should realize that while we are blunt and truthful there are parts of us people don't see. Why couldn't that apply to others as well? I feel lucky to have realized that by the time I was 20 but then again I may have been lagging on that revelation.
 

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She doesn't have a "dick." What she DOES have is an elongated clitoris. No vagina. This kid has fucked his girlfriend up the butt and given her a reach around.

I hope you'll understand that this will never get old for me.
Does it make me a bad person if I find this absolutely hilarious?
 

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So after a few years of not dating after my divorce, I am finally dipping my toe into the pool lol for lack of a better expression. I decided to try online dating just to see what kinds of guys there are out there, and so far, it hasn't been too pretty. All I have is some photos, profiles, and chatting with some guys here and there, and so far out of over a 100 that have contacted me, in a week and a half, I'm not seeing anyone interesting.

Either it's something about the way they look, or after chatting back and forth, the way they express themselves or don't know how to (in writing maybe). In real life, I was always pretty selective with attraction, and personality and it usually worked out that I had some really good relationships, but now it seems like it's beyond a challenge to click with anyone interesting. I am older now though, so I realize this may make me even more selective than when I was younger. (Then again, maybe online stuff isn't a good idea for me.) But anyway, it made me wonder, (whether you are younger i.e. in your twenties or older), are you pretty picky about selecting your romantic partner? I mean, it's not just looks, it's personality, intelligence, humour.. too! Is this excessive choosiness an ENTP thing?:shocked:
You're going to get different answers from the male versus female ENTPs. Males are on average hornier and will not be as picky. I personally have a high sex drive and will get it as much as I can with whomever I find attractive.

You're probably going to end up alone if you're that picky.
 

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I'm picky. When I'm not I regret it.

I'm picky in odd ways. I won't fuck stupid women. No matter how hot she is if she can't keep up her side of a conversation I'm not interested.

When I talk to women I meet in bars or at gatherings if I'm not somewhat impressed by their wit and readiness, I pass. I can't even bring myself to want to follow up on it. Unless I'm trying to impress friends. Even then, that sort of thing can get messy. Usually not worth the bother.

To the OP: I doubt you're going to find what you're after on a dating site. Better to socialize on sites that aren't dating-specific.
 

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I'm picky. When I'm not I regret it.

I'm picky in odd ways. I won't fuck stupid women. No matter how hot she is if she can't keep up her side of a conversation I'm not interested.

When I talk to women I meet in bars or at gatherings if I'm not somewhat impressed by their wit and readiness, I pass. I can't even bring myself to want to follow up on it. Unless I'm trying to impress friends. Even then, that sort of thing can get messy. Usually not worth the bother.

To the OP: I doubt you're going to find what you're after on a dating site. Better to socialize on sites that aren't dating-specific.
I'll go after dumb girls (because they tend to be hot) but only if there isn't much work required, which is rare. :( I just want a harem of women on command.
 

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I'm picky. When I'm not I regret it.

I'm picky in odd ways. I won't fuck stupid women. No matter how hot she is if she can't keep up her side of a conversation I'm not interested.

When I talk to women I meet in bars or at gatherings if I'm not somewhat impressed by their wit and readiness, I pass. I can't even bring myself to want to follow up on it. Unless I'm trying to impress friends. Even then, that sort of thing can get messy. Usually not worth the bother.

To the OP: I doubt you're going to find what you're after on a dating site. Better to socialize on sites that aren't dating-specific.

I agree with you 100% on that. Blowing women off cuz they arent interesting or they don't give me a spark then its a deal breaker unless..... if she isnt smart ill settle for the looks and if their is nothing to build from i dont even bother.

Online dating fucking sucks, i dont even try anymore. I noticed its a lot more fun and better when im getting to know women in person.
 

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Discussion Starter #20
I'm picky. When I'm not I regret it.


To the OP: I doubt you're going to find what you're after on a dating site. Better to socialize on sites that aren't dating-specific.

I think I may not be able to do much about my pickiness, and the online dating experiment may have to be terminated.
 
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