[rd93]

Just curious; do other ESFJs or Fe dom/aux types out there feel that the Fe dominance is a curse and blessing at the same time? I feel a bit empty because I can relate to just about anything and because I'm always adjusting myself to the people around me and the external environment. By this I mean that I feel that I am so many things collectively that I no longer have a distinguishable identity as a person. I pretty much feel like a chameleon who changes color to blend in. Because of Fe, I'm always catering to other people, and while I do have a personality of my own, I feel that I have many shadow personalities and many masks that I can flip through with ease. I rarely feel like a genuine person and often find myself questioning who I am and who I pretend I am. Some other ESFJs seem pretty much free of this predicament, so any thoughts?

 

[Liontiger]

There was a time when I felt that way too. For me, it got better as I had more life experiences and learned more about who I was - as a distinct person from everyone else. It takes time, for sure. But you'll eventually be able to acknowledge what other people might expect but not be changed by it. You might be surprised to find that people actually appreciate you more for it. They don't want you to give them their way all the time, and if they do they're not really good friends.

So as sort of a practical starting point, try putting yourself in new situations. Whether that means joining an organization or taking on a leadership role. You'll learn more about yourself and get a more stable hold on the boundaries between yourself and others.

 

[seraphine]

I definitely feel this way. It's great sometimes - people will tell me they enjoy being around me or note how friendly I am... it is not so great when I find myself pretending to agree with something someone said or going along with their idea even if its a bad one.

I know what it's like to feel like a chameleon, too.

I agree with Liontiger (cute name by the way!). I think going into new situations is a good idea... I noticed when I am around people I've never met before, I am sort of a blank slate, so I can be more myself.

I am not totally sure what type I am but I am very much considering being ExFJ.