Based upon one relationship you had that didn't go well? That sounds like a small sample size and hard feelings more than good analysis, wouldn't you say?Then that is different. I'm saying that in my experience, it was the other way around.
There was no devotion for 3 years with my INTP.
It all came from me. I know what you mean too, but it wasn't there. Devoted isn't an adjective I would use for INTP's.
I imagine a group of young friends, mixed Thinker types and an ESFJ, riding their bikes together. Someone sees a ramp and tries to make a short jump that fails, resulting in a skinned knee.Most of my friends are introverts... And thinkers... And I tend to get irritated with my ESFP friend... But hey, she's fun to be around and brings me out of my shell a little.
That's precisely my background and my own experience. Still, I think there will always be the classic INTP-ESFJ rub where the ESFJ's constant helpful, care-taking behavior toward the INTP will feel intrusive and patronizing to the INTP at times. Mature INTP's will not lash out over this except in severe cases, and mature ESFJ's will learn to scale their behavior back, especially in certain areas that they learn are particular sore spots for their INTP.My opinion (as an XNTP):
INTPs have a tendency to be too harsh and judgmental, so this can lead to conflict with other personalities, ESPECIALLY Feelers. But, INTPs who have grown up around ESFJs and are more familiar with their strengths and weaknesses are more likely to tolerate, even enjoy, their presence. Some of the most pleasant, charming, and affectionate people are ESFJs. My grandmother was an ESFJ, and she was probably the kindest person I knew. Of course, later I discovered that she was far less than the perfect person she seemed to be to me as a child, but still.
When you think about it, ESFJs can be pretty freakin' awesome. Some of them are even kind of quirky and funny, when you get them to chill out
ESFJ's are the most common type statistically (as high as 40% of the population), and I think many ESFJ's find their INTP's quirks cute, and their INTP's disinterest in and/or inability to take care of ordinary, day-to-day household or personal life tasks as almost a calling for them, sort of like, "I love him and I do those things well." They're natural caretakers (they literally feel like they live to take care of those they love) and in the INTP they see someone in great need of a caretaker.I am surprised to see that many INTPs have wives or friends that are ESFJs.
Yeah, pretty much. Our problem solving mode is always just below the surface, waiting to emerge, and in such moments where some empathy is much more appropriate, it makes us seem reptilian when in fact we think we're being helpful by offering constructive criticism and objective observation and analysis.I imagine a group of young friends, mixed Thinker types and an ESFJ, riding their bikes together. Someone sees a ramp and tries to make a short jump that fails, resulting in a skinned knee.
INTP: "That ramp was too short for a good jump"
INTP: "Next time you could get better lift if you started faster"
INTP: "You need to put something on that cut or it could get infected"
ESFJ: <goes over & hugs the person, helping them up> "you'll do better next time"