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Hate casual dates, I usually go for my crushes or the one that I think is the one. What is your experience on dating?
 

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Of those Ive slept with, only the three people Ive dated seriously remain in my memory worth it. The rest were either awkward, emotionally painful, not worth the effort, or perhaps all three at times.
I think from now on since this serious relationship I'm in right now, Ive realized that I won't be doing anything casual if I get on the market in the future.. Too boring, awkward, or sad.. It's easy to know if things are going somewhere, also, I think, because those three guys, it was like we were dating the moment we kissed. Any time I was in a position to think do they like me or do they not like me, it never panned out. So I think quality relationships that start out weird with one person liking the other more and one being less clear on their interest rarely develop into successful relationships. Now, whenever friends confide about having kissed/slept with some guy and wondering if he will want to get serious, I realize immediately the answer is almost always going to be no.
So basically, I'm a casual dater, reformed. It didn't work for me. Mostly I get too involved emotionally.
 

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Okay I'm the same way to could not stand it only been in one serious relationship and she was everything I wanted but it was hard to let her go after my foolish mistake's. Just wondering as ESFJ I seem to put all my eggs in one basket when im looking for a partner.
 

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Same here. I completely invest myself. All or nothing, I don't do the in-between thing well at all!
 

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I am not fond of casual dating. I think as an ESFJ we tend to rule with our emotions. When I date someone seriously I put my heart into it.
^^This. I tried casually dating once, and it wasn't for me. If I'm not that into the guy, then I think it's a waste of time. If I'm actually into the guy, I'll get attached quickly and will want to take it in a more serious direction. If the guy doesn't feel the same way though, that's scary. So I'd rather get into a real relationship from the start where both of us consider each other potentially long-term.
 

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Idk... I'm ok with a casual relationship as long as I see potential of it becoming serious long-term. Like, I'll date a guy I've just met if he seems like the type that I may be interested in actually marrying in the future.

However, that being said, I've never had sex, lol. So I don't do one night stands, so I guess people could say I'm more of a serious dater... old-fashioned if you will. =)
 

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My ESFJ ex and I have been broken up for 3 years. Within those three years, my ESFJ ex has contacted me to hook up for a casual fling 2 times. Including attempted to seduce (?) me by telling me I remind him of a porn star. He did that just recently. I was incredibly offended as he has really reduced me to a piece of meat. He obviously plays the field.

So whether one prefers casual dating or not really has nothing to do with MBTI. All MBTI does is describe cognitive functions.
 
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Whenever I date, its because I have the need to develop a strong emotional relationship with a girl. Casual dates are a no; I almost always date the girls I've been crushing on or the ones I have engaging conversation with frequently.
 

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Sorry, I know this is an old thread, but I am dating an ESFJ guy right now, and would love to hear more answers from male ESFJs on this question. We're only going on our 2nd date this Friday, but he's been consistently in contact with me for hours at a time per day, and ramping up the sweet nicknames and lovey dovey talk. He's said we have a great connection, and that he likes me.

He also gets upset at any hint that I'm not 100% exclusively dating him, though we haven't had a talk about that yet. He seems to be on the dating site we met on less often too. I guess these are all good signs of a guy who's not playing the field while sweet-talking each girl to believing she's the only one? One red flag is that he says he still talks to other girls, but not the way he talks to me. So I'm still guarded but it's encouraging to hear that ESFJs tend to take dating/relationships seriously.
 

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I don't . . . date. But I don't really understand casual dating. Seems like a waste of time.
 

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Charge'n Thru The Night
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Sorry, I know this is an old thread, but I am dating an ESFJ guy right now, and would love to hear more answers from male ESFJs on this question. We're only going on our 2nd date this Friday, but he's been consistently in contact with me for hours at a time per day, and ramping up the sweet nicknames and lovey dovey talk. He's said we have a great connection, and that he likes me.

He also gets upset at any hint that I'm not 100% exclusively dating him, though we haven't had a talk about that yet. He seems to be on the dating site we met on less often too. I guess these are all good signs of a guy who's not playing the field while sweet-talking each girl to believing she's the only one? One red flag is that he says he still talks to other girls, but not the way he talks to me. So I'm still guarded but it's encouraging to hear that ESFJs tend to take dating/relationships seriously.
as isfj and esfj are similar i can tell you yes. we date seriously and exclusively. and i love to keep in contact to the person constantly the moment i have feelings for them. i love to call her lovey dovey nicknames. i think in the beginning most people want to see if there is plan B, but most ISFJ or ESFJ will just stick with the first available person. i for one is not a optimizer. basically i do not want to find a person who is perfect, but the first one that is good enough. do not worry, it does not mean you are not that great. most xSFJ have really good standards for people =] so you must be pretty awesome =]
 

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I have a dream of finding The One, so my goal is always to be in a relationship for the long term, with serious intentions! However, in the past I have been prone to settling for very not serious, impermanent relationships with people because I was interested in them and hoped that something more would come of the relationship, despite their obvious lack of desire to commit to me.
 
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