Personality Cafe banner

1 - 1 of 1 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
7 Posts
Discussion Starter #1 (Edited)
source: Alpha Quadra Duality (ESFJ & INTP), Relations of Duality between psychological ("personality") types



ESFJ (Socionics ESFj, ESE), INTP (Socionics INTj, LII)

These relations are the most favourable and comfortable of all intertype relations providing complete psychological compatibility. Dual partners are like two halves of a whole unit. They usually understand each others intentions without any need to say a word. Dual will naturally protect your weak points and appreciate the strong ones without asking for anything in return. Interaction with your Dual allows you to be yourself without the need to adjust to your partner like in other relations. This often saves both partners a lot of energy which they can use for their own interesting activities. Conflicts between Duals are very rare and if there are any, they are normally short lived and solved without pain. Your Dual partner will love you just for what you are and if there is such a thing as true love then it could probably only occur in relations of Duality.

However, let's not idealise these relations too much. Although theoretically relations of Duality are the best of the best, practically not everybody who is your Dual will make your dreams come true. The reason for this is that we are usually so twisted up during the course of our lives that our already formed and stable views and attitudes can affect our relationships quite heavily. In fact, younger people have more chance to succeed in the quest for their perfect partner than older people. But the chances are always there.

There are at least two conditions to be completed for a successful relationship between Duals. Firstly between the partners there has to be at least a minimal mutual attraction. Secondly and most importantly is that the partners are truly striving for the same or similar things. This may include common interests and/or life goals. Partners that are both seriously thinking about building a family are a good example. Logically saying: two halves of the same whole must not repel or move in the different directions, otherwise the whole will break into pieces. Relations of Duality also go through several stages. The first stage sometimes can be really tense. It is like a new engine that requires a "run in" first. If relations crumble it normally happens in the first stage. The more stages completed by Duals the more unbreakable their relationship.

However, nature has played a little trick on us. It is difficult to notice your Dual partner among all the other types and even easier to pass them by. Usually during first contact extroverts think about their introvert Dual as ordinary and simple, therefore not deserving their personal attention. In return introverts consider their extrovert Dual to be too good for them and therefore unattainable. Both positions usually belong to people who had a lack of Duality interaction during childhood. The magnetic effect of Duality becomes obvious when partners do not see each other for a while. Only after being together for a fair amount of time do the partners start realising how much they need each other. Finally, these relations are most suitable for friendship, marriage and family life. To have a Dual partner is irreplaceable if you have to compete or survive in a socially dangerous environment.




Transliterated Socionics Article. I’ve used the closest matching MBTI terms to prevent confusion.
ESFJ (ESFj, ESE, Fe-Si): A sociable and cheerful person, pleasant and attentive companion, the soul of the company. He knows how to manage the mood of other people, raise it in times of despair, or ruin it for those who have not lived up to his trust or lost his respect. Because of his straightforwardness and passionate temper, ESFJ often jeopardizes relationships and so needs a partner who can keep cool and calm, and who will understand everything and give him objective advice.
ESFJ is practical and expedient in domestic matters, loves to take care of others. He tries to do everything himself, rarely asks others for help. However, he is also emotional and sensitive, and therefore needs praise, empathy, and participation.
He has a developed aesthetic taste, pays great attention to the beauty around him — from his own appearance to the interior of his living space. Poorly tolerates miserliness in partners. He prefers to earn money and spend it on his own.
Optimistic and careless, ESFJ need advice of a partner who is not only farsighted, but one who can succinctly and accurately analyze any situation and deliver a clear and unambiguously worded summary or forecast, leaving no room for doubts and alternatives.
ESFJ is inclined to take on too much work and activities, including that which is unnecessary. INTP must monitor his activities, cutting off the excess and assisting only in the essential, which he is able to do gently, in form of clear logical advice.
INTP (INTj, LII, Ti-Ne): In this pair INTP acts as a sensible, reliable and intelligent friend, and ESFJ — as a vibrant, caring and loving parent, which ensures in general a harmony of mind and senses.
INTP possesses clear logical thinking, trying to explain to others his understanding of things and becomes very upset if no one listens to his opinion. Therefore, he needs a cooperative partner, who has a sense of humor, and who is flexible and diplomatic.
INTP prefers to plan his activities and does not like to change his plan when something else is imposed on him. His partner should listen to his advice, respect his wishes, and try to not disturb his plans.
INTP finds it difficult to constantly think about the pressing needs of the family, because his mind is often elsewhere, sometimes submerged in his work and research. Thus, domestic issues mostly fall on the shoulders of ESFJ, who requests the help of his partner only if he cannot manage himself. In such cases, he draws INTP into the process not by orders and directives, but with his emotions and enthusiasm. INTP then splits the task into steps and consecutively solves it.
INTP finds it difficult to be pushy and zealous, and often suffers during conflicts due to lack of break-through qualities. It is difficult for him to defend the interests of his case, and to listen later to accusations of inertness and lack of energy — just unbearable. Active, persistent partner, able to achieve goals that he sets earns his respect and gratitude.
INTP experiences great difficulties when it is necessary to take the initiative in a relationship or show his feelings. Because of this, he is often considered a dry and unapproachable person. He needs a partner who will take responsibility for creating and maintaining relaxing, warm and pleasant atmosphere in communication.
Terms of dualization:
1. INTP needs to listen to the advice of his dual, be more friendly and tactful in his relations with others. On the other hand, being under the influence of his emotions, ESFJ can ruin relationships, and then his dual can help to stabilize him with his cool logical arguments.
2. When it comes to protection of objective interests of this dyad, initiative of ESFJ is undeniable. Energetic, active, informed of a variety of practical issues and tactical methods, ESFJ aids his dual in resolving problems in areas that are too complicated for him.
3. Since ESFJ is careless and imprudent, poorly sees the possible outcomes of affairs, he needs advice of his discerning dual, especially when it comes to monetary and economic matters. Planing, coming up with strategic goals for the dyad, distributing events in time should be done by INTP.
4. In the intimate sphere, the initiative for showing feelings, casting aside all prejudices, should fall to ESFJ, who acts in this area quickly and with confidence, according to the principle: “Don’t love me, but I love you — beware of my love!” Cold, insular, shy, and unsure of his right to be loved INTP with this demeanor unconsciously provokes emotional expansionism of his partner. And here is a sexual secret: without emotional preparation, the sexuality of INTP is generally difficult to awaken. Women who passively wait for the initiative from him are likely to be disappointed.
However, some sociotypes are stimulated exactly by passivity or inaccessibility of their partner. ESFJ at a subconscious level strives to be the conqueror and not the conquered — excessive activity of the partner brings satiety and boredom to him. He appreciates seriousness and commitment, responsiveness to feelings. In addition, INTP gives the impression of permanence, which is necessary for peace of mind of jealous-possessive nature of ESFJ.
 
1 - 1 of 1 Posts
Top