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I'm concerned about a good friend of mine who is an ESFJ male. He suppresses his feelings because he is ashamed of and because he thinks it makes him "feminine". I think a lot of it has to do with his father, brother, and mother all being thinkers and kind of looking down on him for it. But what really worries me is that he has so much self-loathing and can't accept that he is sensitive. I feel like that if he could accept it and even see it has a blessing instead of a curse he would have a much higher self-esteem.
When he is embracing his feeling side he is incredibly adept at getting along with so many people, and making everyone feel comfortable, which I really admire. I feel like by suppressing his feeling function and trying to be the thinker he wishes he was he isn't loving himself just for who is and not living up to the potential of what he could be, so my questions are:

Do any other ESFJ males have similar experiences?
How can I help him?
 

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He knows he is an ESFJ for sure and his brother is for sure an ISTP. He nor I am sure about his mom and dad's types but they are definitely thinkers, though you could call it a guess since they haven't actually taken the test.
 

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I can sympathize with your friend. I'm a so-called ESFJ myself, not even cerrtain anymore as I did another test this evening (thereason it compelled me to come here right now) and I came out an INTJ. I'm in a relationship with an INTP and it's a very difficult one. I feel labeled by the ESFJ tag and it stresses me. I do sometimes get overrun by stress, which makes me emotional at times but it has to do with certain fundamental needs that are not met in my relationship. Also, being labeled an ESFJ sometimes makes me think I have to act the part because some of my friends just look at me as an ESFJ only so I sometimes feel I have to almost act the part.
I am the emotional one out of the two and that itself burdens me. I so appreciate my GF's way of thinking & outlook becaus in a way I think I actually benefit from it but I tend to factor in the emotional as well. Being typed an ESFJ reminds me of a balloon full of emotions, illogical thinking and acting without thinking. That's not me at all.
Being emotional sucks at times. I don't like to envy but the thinkers got it going on. I'm highly influenced by them.

Thanks for reading this long and dreadful post.
:)
 
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