I'm an INFP chic... I've had an on-and-off relationship with an ESFJ male. We met in college and we had an immediate, exhilarating connection. I have never felt such a connection / chemistry with a man in my life as this ESFJ male, and he has often told me the same thing. Unfortunately I feel like ESFJ males are very rare.
The problem is, this ESFJ male I've been with is very charming and handsome, so many many women swoon for him -- hence, lots of women (including myself) have gone "ga ga" for him, which is somewhat overwhelming for him plus it gives him many 'options'.
I am happy to know that I have been one of the few women that he has stuck with and courted around (for 5 years, actually). However, he wanted to keep our relationship casual and never wanted to step it up and get serious.
This ESFJ male has had only 1 serious girlfriend his whole life and he is 27 years old! (I am 26). He was the one who initiated to end the relationship of his last girlfriend.
I recently told him that it's over, and we can no longer see each other again (besides online communication) because it is too emotionally mind f-ing for me, plus his inability to reciprocate what I give (and want) is no longer bearable for me to handle. He wrote me with this explanation about his inability to open-up to people:
"in an lamely stereotypical way I have to admit that I have major intimacy and commitment issues. This is not just true of our friendship but of all my relationships (friend, family, and otherwise). I have always felt uncomfortable allowing myself to openup to people because to do so puts one in a position of vulnerability and I hate feeling that way."
He wrote me a very heart-felt email explaining that I have always been and will always be a special part of his life.
My guess is, he doesn't like feeling 'vulnerable' because ESFJ's like control... Amiright? I just find it crazy that an ESFJ male would not want a relationship and has had only 1 relationship his whole life... Hullo? Your dominant function is FEELING! Wtf? (He is also a bigger feeler than I am.... like, totally sensitive guy and stuff)...
Are all ESFJ males this way? I am moving on with my life, but would like to know what is up with this guy and whether his view on being anti-committed is common amongst ESFJ men. He is also an only child and an attorney, if that means anything.
ALSO: I broke it off with him in a very classy, non-fighting way. He is also the only man I've been with and the man I lost my virginity to
Do you think an ESFJ male will miss someone like me and come back in the future?
The problem is, this ESFJ male I've been with is very charming and handsome, so many many women swoon for him -- hence, lots of women (including myself) have gone "ga ga" for him, which is somewhat overwhelming for him plus it gives him many 'options'.
I am happy to know that I have been one of the few women that he has stuck with and courted around (for 5 years, actually). However, he wanted to keep our relationship casual and never wanted to step it up and get serious.
This ESFJ male has had only 1 serious girlfriend his whole life and he is 27 years old! (I am 26). He was the one who initiated to end the relationship of his last girlfriend.
I recently told him that it's over, and we can no longer see each other again (besides online communication) because it is too emotionally mind f-ing for me, plus his inability to reciprocate what I give (and want) is no longer bearable for me to handle. He wrote me with this explanation about his inability to open-up to people:
"in an lamely stereotypical way I have to admit that I have major intimacy and commitment issues. This is not just true of our friendship but of all my relationships (friend, family, and otherwise). I have always felt uncomfortable allowing myself to openup to people because to do so puts one in a position of vulnerability and I hate feeling that way."
He wrote me a very heart-felt email explaining that I have always been and will always be a special part of his life.
My guess is, he doesn't like feeling 'vulnerable' because ESFJ's like control... Amiright? I just find it crazy that an ESFJ male would not want a relationship and has had only 1 relationship his whole life... Hullo? Your dominant function is FEELING! Wtf? (He is also a bigger feeler than I am.... like, totally sensitive guy and stuff)...
Are all ESFJ males this way? I am moving on with my life, but would like to know what is up with this guy and whether his view on being anti-committed is common amongst ESFJ men. He is also an only child and an attorney, if that means anything.
ALSO: I broke it off with him in a very classy, non-fighting way. He is also the only man I've been with and the man I lost my virginity to
Do you think an ESFJ male will miss someone like me and come back in the future?