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Something that weighs heavy on my mind is my relationship with my father. We have a very estranged relationship in that he annoys the hell out of me and he wants to be in my life and I'm very distant from him due to his actions in the past (darn Si). Now, don't get me wrong, I've always known who my father was. My parents were together until I was 12 and after that, things started to get worse and worse until I decided to wash my hands of him when I was 15 and he went to jail. When he got out when I was 17, he automatically wanted to get back into my life as if nothing had happened with us. I tried to accept him but he quickly got annoying so I seized contact again. Then I decided, after a retreat last year, that I haven't been fair to him and wanted to get in contact with him because it's the right thing to do and it's not like I don't want a relationship with him. BUT, once again, he got overwhelming so I seized contact again. And that's where I'm at now. My father is an ESFP and he is the most annoying person on this planet to me. Let me tell you what irks me about him:

1)He wants things to happen now now now, when he wants it. Like our relationship. He wants us to be good now now now and I'm like, "Slow your roll, we aren't going to be automatically good. I just want to start getting good with you."
2)He tries to show "love" through one avenue and one avenue only: resources. "Let me buy you this." "Let me get you this." It got to the point where he was almost forcing me to take his SS number just so I could get money from him. I didn't want the money; I wanted a dad.
3)He's pretentious as hell. He likes to flaunt that he's an avid traveler or good at computers or whatever. I just don't want to hear it.
4)Throughout childhood, if he was mad, the whole atmosphere of the house changed. And as a lead Fe user, I could feel that emotion quite well but he didn't care because if he wasn't happy, no one was.
5)He is SOOOO dramatic. He puts on shows to impress people and I want no part in it.
6)He does what he wants. He's, like, above the law. That's how I think he thinks. After my mother got a restraining order on him, that didn't stop him from coming over just to drop some stuff off...as if my mother was going to open the door. She's an SJ. Very by the book.
7)He's manipulative, too. He manipulates to get his way because if it's not his way, it doesn't matter at all. And don't let him not get his way. Oh, then it's a big deal. Dude, there are plenty of people in the world that don't get their way and treat it way better than you.

Now those are just the main factors that irk me and I know this sounds like a venting post but as an ESFJ, I want to do the right thing and try to understand him before I wash my hands of him for good. And I don't think I'd ever just wash my hands of him for good but I will continue to be distant. So I have a few questions:

1)ESFPs, has anyone or you ever described yourself similarly as the traits I listed above?
2)Do you get along with any ESFJs?
3)Please offer any insight into the behavior of an ESFP.

And please know that I am not saying I hate all ESFPs because my cousin is also an ESFP and we get along better than my father and I but I just want to be able to get along with my father and I'm starting by trying to understand him which is something he hasn't tried to do.

Thanks in advance!
 

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Seized contact? Or ceased contact?

1)ESFPs, has anyone or you ever described yourself similarly as the traits I listed above?

Yes. Probably some of all of that except for the pretentious part. I don't think anyone would ever describe me as pretentious.

2)Do you get along with any ESFJs?

Yes.

3)Please offer any insight into the behavior of an ESFP.

Click on the link in my sig where it says "here's my take", and that tells my basic outlook on life. If you have specific questions, go ahead and ask and I will do my best to answer.
:happy:
 

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Heh heh. I did mean cease. Thanks for noticing that! I always thought it was seize but seize in this context definitely doesn't make sense.

Anyways, I read your take. I thought it was kind of like those inspirational speeches. I enjoyed it! But I'm wondering, and you probably mentioned this, what are some common weaknesses of ESFPs? And what kinds of behaviors does an unhealthy ESFP exhibit?
 

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Heh heh. I did mean cease. Thanks for noticing that! I always thought it was seize but seize in this context definitely doesn't make sense.

Anyways, I read your take. I thought it was kind of like those inspirational speeches. I enjoyed it!

Yay. Thanks. :proud:

But I'm wondering, and you probably mentioned this, what are some common weaknesses of ESFPs?
Getting to stuff on time, laziness, stirring up trouble that goes a little too far, remembering stuff we said we would do, dealing with fear/anxiety, finishing stuff we start, getting motivated to do stuff, being too sexy for our shirts...


And what kinds of behaviors does an unhealthy ESFP exhibit?
sniffling, wheezing, hacking, coughing, sneezing, writhing around in pain, zombie-like appearance...
 
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