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For each personality type I would like to know What do you struggle with the most in life? Problems you try to overcome but seem to never find that perfect solution? Please answer only in your personality type. I want to learn more about each type so I can grow as a person.

For me as an INFP, my biggest problem is extreme difficulties dealing with other people. I have very intense emotions that makes life very difficult at times.
 

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maybe being controlling and wanting everything my way, which I have the tendency to believe is the "right" way. I definitely need to fix that! Hope I helped? :happy:
Oh yes, that helps me understand you guys much better. I have always had a difficult time understanding the ESFJ's. You guys are just so different than myself.
 

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maybe being controlling and wanting everything my way, which I have the tendency to believe is the "right" way. I definitely need to fix that! Hope I helped? :happy:
what makes you belive or think that you are right in most of the cases....tell me please...i need to know it
 

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Hi Hurting.

Intense emotions can be incredibly draining sometimes .. Been there done that. I hope you find a way of balancing it at some point.

If i had seen this question 18 months ago i would of written a book as i was a very unhealthy ESFJ (closed minded, black and white, rigid etc)

However now .. I am in such a better place mentally and emotionally but unfortunately it took my world falling apart to actually get my shit together and reassess just what was important to me at my core.

I do have one problem at the moment and i am kind of at loggerheads with it. I found out about MBTI earlier this year and i embraced it. I focused my attention on my weaknesses and realised how just how silly my thinking and perception was. The negative side of it is although i love sites like this (i am far more active on another site than this one) as i thoroughly enjoy hearing other peoples perceptions/ideas/theories etc .. It is just that, a theory and some people accept it as gospal which infuriates me.

So my little problem is do i walk away from people who i have come to be good friends with whom have different perspectives to mine or stay and allow people to in essence box types.

And for the record .. I am typing myself ESfj as i am coming up with ESTP/ESFP/ESFJ ..
 
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Hi Hurting.

Intense emotions can be incredibly draining sometimes .. Been there done that. I hope you find a way of balancing it at some point.

If i had seen this question 18 months ago i would of written a book as i was a very unhealthy ESFJ (closed minded, black and white, rigid etc)

However now .. I am in such a better place mentally and emotionally but unfortunately it took my world falling apart to actually get my shit together and reassess just what was important to me at my core.

I do have one problem at the moment and i am kind of at loggerheads with it. I found out about MBTI earlier this year and i embraced it. I focused my attention on my weaknesses and realised how just how silly my thinking and perception was. The negative side of it is although i love sites like this (i am far more active on another site than this one) as i thoroughly enjoy hearing other peoples perceptions/ideas/theories etc .. It is just that, a theory and some people accept it as gospal which infuriates me.

So my little problem is do i walk away from people who i have come to be good friends with whom have different perspectives to mine or stay and allow people to in essence box types.

And for the record .. I am typing myself ESfj as i am coming up with ESTP/ESFP/ESFJ ..

It is good to know you got your problems under control. That gives the rest of us hope.
 

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My biggest problem is that I'm too selfish- I constantly have to remind myself that the world does not revolve around me.
 

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I wish I had thick skin and that I didn't take criticism so personally. I think I'm getting better at it, but I know I'm not where I want to be yet. I like people to be straightforward with me, because I'm usually quite straightforward too, but I don't want anyone to feel like they're offending me and I don't want them to know if they've offended me either.

I also wish it didn't bother me so much if people act rather coolly with me. I shouldn't really care, but I usually feel like they could be more personable etc.

- possible ESFJ here
 

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I wish I wasn't so controlling (but I'm working on it) and I wish I could be more flexible (again, I'm working on it).

I wish I didn't take criticism so personally and so badly (I'm working hard on this one!) and I wish I wan't hurt when someone doesn't care much for me.

I wish I was less self-centered, sometimes.

As I said, I'm working hard on myself and I hope to change the things that I don't like about me.

I can do it! :wink:
 

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Letting go of someone. I think it's one of the hardest things to do, and it takes me forever. I need at least a year to get over a good friendship or relationship, and even that isn't enough to completely forget them. I also should stop blaming myself for every bad thing.
 

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My biggest problem is letting other people influence me and not knowing my own mind. I am extremely susceptible to other people's attempts to guilt-trip me, and I'll even guilt-trip myself into doing things for other people.
 

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My biggest problem, well the one I perceive to be the biggest and is respectively so, is staying to true to my beliefs. Being as honest of a person as possible. I wish I could stay on the right path and be able to convince others likewise as they often influence my behavior. I need to follow my morals and right now I'm not doing that...
 

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My biggest problem, well the one I perceive to be the biggest and is respectively so, is staying to true to my beliefs. Being as honest of a person as possible. I wish I could stay on the right path and be able to convince others likewise as they often influence my behavior. I need to follow my morals and right now I'm not doing that...

When I come to a moral crossroad, I like to remind myself that at the end of the day I want to be proud of the person staring back at me in the mirror.


-ZDD
 

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Let's see, whenever I first meet someone and vibe with them, seeing them as a potential friend, I will try my darnedest to impress them. I'll always say yes to them, always be there, put them before people that have been there for years, "aka, family." I need to work on that because I make bad judgement calls based purely on feeling and I end up letting people walk over me because I want to please all (that I find interest or need in pleasing).

Another thing I need to work on is taking criticism. As soon as I hear criticism it's like I'm hearing the words, "I hate you, you sad excuse for a human." Very extreme, right? I take criticism to heart often and I really need to work on that. How? By developing my functions. Mainly my Ti. I know, it's fourth for a reason but it could be something that helps me make decisions.

I think confidence is my biggest issue. Because of my lack of confidence, I don't believe in myself. When I don't believe in myself, I don't love myself. When I don't love myself, well, that's just bad news. I need to work on confidence more so than anything because I believe once I have better confidence, everything else will fall into line. Don't you think?
 

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I've had a crap ton of "big problems" in my life.

Learning all the social ques and rules of society

Learning to express my emotions in a healthy manner

Learning that everyone is special, I am not superior to everyone else

Learning to give into my emotions and use them in my judgements rather then rely solely on logic and my analytical side

Opening up to people, not being so ashamed of who I am, my hobbies, and what my life purpose is
 

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I have two problems in life that I feel like are pretty big, I can't pick between the two.

1.) I feel like I should go to more social events but I am so shy and when I do open up to people, I scare them because I'm a lot to take. I'm overbearing and I honestly love being so open and honest. I would love someone to coddle me like I want to coddle others, which leads me to my second problem.
2.) My husband is an ISTJ and I know that he loves and cares about me, he is just not very expressive about it. I can't find a way to communicate that to him in a way that is meaningful.
 

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My husband is an ISTJ and I know that he loves and cares about me, he is just not very expressive about it. I can't find a way to communicate that to him in a way that is meaningful.
I'm an ESFJ who has been dating an ISTJ for a couple of years now. I totally know where you're coming from. ISTJs just don't seem to be good at expressing emotions and affection naturally and it's very confusing since ESFJs rely on that kind of feedback from others in order to know how we stand with them and how to operate accordingly. I'd say I'm pretty good at reading people, but I couldn't for the life of me read my boyfriend when we first started dating. We have had multiple arguments over the years about his lack of affection. The most recent one was extremely helpful. I told him that I felt taken for granted. He said that just because he can't express it doesn't mean the love isn't there. I told him that he needs to express it in a way that I can see it. Since then, he's been great.

You might also want to look into the Love Languages. Your problems with your husband could be an example of the two of you expressing different love languages. I'm big on words of affirmation (which I think a lot of Fe types are), but a lot of ISTJs have a hard time with that. My ISTJ's love language is acts of service. He has a hard time saying "I love you", but he does little things that often go unnoticed, like stocking his apartment with tissues just because I need them, preparing my favorite foods when he knows I'm coming over, or giving me a massage when I'm stressed. Maybe your husband is showing his love for you in ways you don't notice.
 
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