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I wanted to know what our INTP members thought of our exact opposites, the ESFJs.
ESFJs - your thoughts/opinions?
[INTP]
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There's such negative people here. 
Ok, many of them are really annoying. Including my younger sister, you can imagine the peace in our family sometimes... She's, like, yelling to me for not yealling while arguing? And for being "too adult", oh so what I should be
But some ESFJs, these "blond" ones, are really fun to be around I have a few ESFJ friends and they're happy for me being there and telling what's reasonable etc, and of course I like to be the trusted one for them. It's just, you can't take them for a long time, a few days are already almost too much.
Ok, many of them are really annoying. Including my younger sister, you can imagine the peace in our family sometimes... She's, like, yelling to me for not yealling while arguing? And for being "too adult", oh so what I should be But some ESFJs, these "blond" ones, are really fun to be around
I have a few ESFJ friends and they're happy for me being there and telling what's reasonable etc, and of course I like to be the trusted one for them. It's just, you can't take them for a long time, a few days are already almost too much.
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My ESFJ mom is constantly complaining about my hair. It's "terrible", she says. A few minutes ago she claimed it makes me look "scary" or some jive like that. When trying to prove a point, she uses "everyone else" and did so for hair, claiming that everyone else at college didn't have hair like mine.
Why doesn't she get that I'm not everyone else and like my own hair? Jesus shit, I'm 20, it's not like I'm a rebellious teen with ass-length blue hair or some shit...
All ESFJs seem to be much the same, with my ESFJ biological mother agreeing on my hair. No one else cares, I've noticed.
My 14 year old ESFJ sister frequently refers to me as "weird", when amongst my group of friends (namely ESTJ and INTJ) find her "weird", "ugly", "idiotic", and "immature."
ESFJs seem to think they're better than everyone else. My mom, for instance, loves to flame my hair but has a goddamned blonde afro, pretty much... because every other backwards ******* woman in these parts has the same style. To me, blonde afros on women are terrifying –*not my own hair.
Fuck ESFJs. I hope they all get terminal ass cancer at once. :dry:
Why doesn't she get that I'm not everyone else and like my own hair? Jesus shit, I'm 20, it's not like I'm a rebellious teen with ass-length blue hair or some shit...
All ESFJs seem to be much the same, with my ESFJ biological mother agreeing on my hair. No one else cares, I've noticed.
My 14 year old ESFJ sister frequently refers to me as "weird", when amongst my group of friends (namely ESTJ and INTJ) find her "weird", "ugly", "idiotic", and "immature."
ESFJs seem to think they're better than everyone else. My mom, for instance, loves to flame my hair but has a goddamned blonde afro, pretty much... because every other backwards ******* woman in these parts has the same style. To me, blonde afros on women are terrifying –*not my own hair.
Fuck ESFJs. I hope they all get terminal ass cancer at once. :dry:
I was about to write about that. Most of the ESFJs really seem to think much about themselves. And you don't just get that image from them, many of them like to even tell that to the whole world!? Like posting "oh I'm so gooood, there's no better than me" posts in social groups or something. That's the main reason I don't like them, I've never thought they're particularly cool in things. It's hard to deal with them, if you try to be nice and reason things for them, in the same time. I can't understand how someone thinks (s)he's cool by doing something just because everyone does so... For example, my ESFJ friend thinks her name is very cool because it's the most popular one here and she'd like if every other one would have the same name as her.
I don't know if it's for guys too, but especially most ESFJ girls really wants to be like sisters and peas in a pod with everyone. Has anybody else noticed that too?
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My 14 year old ESFJ sister lists about ten people on her Facebook as sisters. We only have two sisters and one brother, but one sister and the brother are both children. They remain unlisted.
I suspect a girl from my English class was an ESFJ. One time walking to class together (we met up in the elevator by coincidence), we were talking about Charles Darwin (the subject of the day) and she referred to him as both strange and weird. I asked why she thought such was the case... she said his thoughts on the world and life were just so 'different'. At least she was a good student and read her materials...
Luckily, my xNFJ English professor chimed in during the class discussion when she repeated her thoughts on Darwin. The professor noted that he was a genius, and geniuses often seem weird to everyone else. I suggested the word 'eccentric' was more appropriate for Darwin and people like him. She agreed and said something like "yes, that's a fitting word, Charles Darwin, much like Michael here, was eccentric."
I suspect the aforementioned professor was an ENFJ because of our chemistry (it was a weird student-professor relationship, sometimes negative and sometimes positive)... but I won't rule out INFJ at all, because she could've been.
I'm just glad an xNFJ helped an INTP put the smackdown on an ESFJ. :tongue:
I suspect a girl from my English class was an ESFJ. One time walking to class together (we met up in the elevator by coincidence), we were talking about Charles Darwin (the subject of the day) and she referred to him as both strange and weird. I asked why she thought such was the case... she said his thoughts on the world and life were just so 'different'. At least she was a good student and read her materials...
Luckily, my xNFJ English professor chimed in during the class discussion when she repeated her thoughts on Darwin. The professor noted that he was a genius, and geniuses often seem weird to everyone else. I suggested the word 'eccentric' was more appropriate for Darwin and people like him. She agreed and said something like "yes, that's a fitting word, Charles Darwin, much like Michael here, was eccentric."
I suspect the aforementioned professor was an ENFJ because of our chemistry (it was a weird student-professor relationship, sometimes negative and sometimes positive)... but I won't rule out INFJ at all, because she could've been.
I'm just glad an xNFJ helped an INTP put the smackdown on an ESFJ. :tongue:
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Being around ESFJs makes me want to hurt myself.
If. "I," "F." If." If we have something in common to talk about, conversation can be meaningful because the perspective is so different. If not, then it's straight to wanting to drive screws into my feet.
If. "I," "F." If." If we have something in common to talk about, conversation can be meaningful because the perspective is so different. If not, then it's straight to wanting to drive screws into my feet.
My boss is probably the bad sort of ESFJ. She's capricious, forgetful, cliquey, and a complete control freak. We tend to butt heads on a regular basis. Thankfully, I'm one of the three competent members of my department, and pretty much unfireable as long as I show up on time and sober. According to other coworkers, she thinks I'm creepy and doesn't know how to deal with me.
It's going to be such a joy giving her my two weeks' notice next week and watching her reaction as she realizes how much trouble she's going to have in finding someone to replace me. I'm so glad to be going back to college.
It's going to be even funnier when my INTJ brother (who also works there and is another one of the three competent team members) gives his notice and goes off to RCMP training in a few months. She's really going to be up a creek then. He can't stand her either.
It's going to be such a joy giving her my two weeks' notice next week and watching her reaction as she realizes how much trouble she's going to have in finding someone to replace me. I'm so glad to be going back to college.
It's going to be even funnier when my INTJ brother (who also works there and is another one of the three competent team members) gives his notice and goes off to RCMP training in a few months. She's really going to be up a creek then. He can't stand her either.
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My brother is an ESTJ or ESFJ:
He's an argumentative, loud mouthed, know-it-all that needs to be accepted by friends and is verbally abusive toward weaker people. He believes he knows what's best for me, thinks I'm lazy and misguided, but behaves more recklessly than I do. I've never gotten along with him as a friend and enjoy when he’s not around.
He's an argumentative, loud mouthed, know-it-all that needs to be accepted by friends and is verbally abusive toward weaker people. He believes he knows what's best for me, thinks I'm lazy and misguided, but behaves more recklessly than I do. I've never gotten along with him as a friend and enjoy when he’s not around.
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I can't imagine me and an ESFJ staying under the same roof. Let alone two.
My thoughts on ESFJs.. I can sense them from quite a distance, and usually manifests as a headache.
They are alright in short bursts of time, but not more than a minute.
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Technically, I was adopted by my grandparents... who are now mom and dad... and they're both ESFx. Mom's a J, dad's a P.
My biological mother and half-sister are both ESFJs and I see them regularly.
Mom bothers me frequently, dad and I generally get along well despite fights here and there, my biological mother is a constant bother, and my ESFJ sister is just an immature moron.
I get along fine with my ESFJ sister, generally.
It's a big family. My other half sister is an ISTP, so I can imagine the two of them have strained relations...
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I have a couple of really good friends I suspect of being possible ESFJs. I can't say they are all bad. Of course if I ever properly type these people and find out they are a different type, I may change my opinion :laughing:
I know one confirmed ESFJ.
We're sort of "friends" out of circumstance, though obviously we have pretty opposite personalities.
I think she's nuts. We're both foreigners in the country we live in. She hates it here and refuses to learn the language or make friends with any of the locals. It's really weird. The way I see it, she's only punishing herself.
She's generally very picky and stuck in her ways. She's judgmental & sees everything in black and white. She holds allegiance to things (her country, her religion) like they're sports teams. She claims to be a proud Catholic, but I don't think she actually follows any of the religious teachings. She's also borderline racist and homophobic.
Good qualities - she's outgoing, helpful and a loyal friend. She's also a dedicated, fiercely protective mother, even though I don't always agree with her parenting choices.
That's the one ESFJ I know. Maybe there are some sane ones out there?
We're sort of "friends" out of circumstance, though obviously we have pretty opposite personalities.
I think she's nuts. We're both foreigners in the country we live in. She hates it here and refuses to learn the language or make friends with any of the locals. It's really weird. The way I see it, she's only punishing herself.
She's generally very picky and stuck in her ways. She's judgmental & sees everything in black and white. She holds allegiance to things (her country, her religion) like they're sports teams. She claims to be a proud Catholic, but I don't think she actually follows any of the religious teachings. She's also borderline racist and homophobic.
Good qualities - she's outgoing, helpful and a loyal friend. She's also a dedicated, fiercely protective mother, even though I don't always agree with her parenting choices.
That's the one ESFJ I know. Maybe there are some sane ones out there?
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So if someone is extroverted and shows alot of Fe, what are some ways to distinguish ESFJ from ENFJ? I know the obvious one... detail oriented vs concept oriented, but with the person I have in mind, it is hard to tell.
As long as you state your boundaries sternly, or prove yourself, you can make sure they don't cross the line.
In family and friend relations, I have just told them what I won't tolerate of their behavior, and they seem to adapt to me. They can actually become helpful people to have around, once you teach them what habits you won't stand for. I have noticed that many sfjs tend to not mind taking orders and learning how to relate to you. Its harder to convince the stj, however. This is why I probably find it easier to deal with sfj. They aren't useless like some nts think, either. I have had sfjs really surprise me before. One of them help me understand something very important to me once, because they had an understanding of the situation that I couldn't grasp, as a person with very little s.
I have worked with sfj types before, and what bothered me most about them, was they they felt they needed to micromanage me. For the first little while, I will keep my mouth shut for the most part, and observe. Once I know I have the hang of it, I will then tell them how -I- am going to do things. They are usually pretty astonished by the ingenuity. Now, if you prove this to them, they will typically stand back and let you take control.
I really don't find it any harder to deal with sfj than any other type. People are all different, and have their own unique quirks anyway.. and any type can have something to offer. You just have to learn to speak their language a bit.
One of my best friends was a 62 yr old esfj. Unlikely pair, us, I know.. but we got along swimmingly. She actually had great taste in novels - David Sedaris for example, and she had lots of knowledge of gardening which I am also into. She also had a lot of life experience, and had encountered introverted NT women in the past, so she just kind of knew how to treat me. : )
In family and friend relations, I have just told them what I won't tolerate of their behavior, and they seem to adapt to me. They can actually become helpful people to have around, once you teach them what habits you won't stand for. I have noticed that many sfjs tend to not mind taking orders and learning how to relate to you. Its harder to convince the stj, however. This is why I probably find it easier to deal with sfj. They aren't useless like some nts think, either. I have had sfjs really surprise me before. One of them help me understand something very important to me once, because they had an understanding of the situation that I couldn't grasp, as a person with very little s.
I have worked with sfj types before, and what bothered me most about them, was they they felt they needed to micromanage me. For the first little while, I will keep my mouth shut for the most part, and observe. Once I know I have the hang of it, I will then tell them how -I- am going to do things. They are usually pretty astonished by the ingenuity. Now, if you prove this to them, they will typically stand back and let you take control.
I really don't find it any harder to deal with sfj than any other type. People are all different, and have their own unique quirks anyway.. and any type can have something to offer. You just have to learn to speak their language a bit.
One of my best friends was a 62 yr old esfj. Unlikely pair, us, I know.. but we got along swimmingly. She actually had great taste in novels - David Sedaris for example, and she had lots of knowledge of gardening which I am also into. She also had a lot of life experience, and had encountered introverted NT women in the past, so she just kind of knew how to treat me. : )
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