She's ... a bit irritating at times. I she called me once on the phone, and for about 20 minutes of the 2-hour-long conversation, she read off the titles of every single one of the movies in her movie cabinet, and asked me if I had seen them. The answer for 99% was no, and it got really annoying very fast. I quickly slipped into the "Hmm, mm-hmm" routine.
But we have been best friends for almost 8 years, I guess, so she can't be *that* annoying to me.
My son is ESFP. Ugh, ESFP, I'm not expert but I would think that's overload for any INTJ. Unless they're really more of a mild-mild version of an ESFP. Outgoing, chatty, extraverted, feely, OMFG. Yes, can definitely be fun, but small doses please. Since ESFP's like almost every single person they meet, it's easy to have them as "friends" because they are vying to be your friend. I would rather call them crazy-drive-by-nutcases myself. Unless of course, they're your children, and you call them crazy-drive-by-nutcase-children-that-you-love-anyway.
Oh, and I wouldn't say they clash, since they would rather not clash with anything. You'd have a far easier time clashing with another INTJ.
I really like ESFP's... but one at a time and in somewhat limited doses.
A room full of ESFP's is not somewhere I would want to be, although it would be interesting to have a camera in the room and watch them all spaz out.
I fell in love with an ESFP once. That was no fun. I thought the world of her, she hated me. It was like a double eclipse: I would get goofy and ESFPish and she would get introverted, critical, and judgmental and then explode into a fury of anger.
The one I am friends with I have known since we were 4, so we are like sisters. When we 'fight' or irritate each other we get over it quickly, but we are smart not to spend loads of time together because we want different things in general. I still love her even though she can drive me nuts some times, and vice versa :crazy:
Generally I don't gravitate toward ESFP/J's, for obvious reasons. They are overwhelming.
I don't clash with ESFPs, or Extroverts at all. I clash with ISFPs though. It's significantly easier with ESFPs because they usually tell you what they're feeling. IxFxs, on the contrary, have a habit of keeping everything inside then doing something inexplicable to act on their feelings, then you wonder where that came from because she seemed so happy and tranquil before. I don't like being surprised that way. That said, I don't particularly enjoy the company of most ESFPs, but then I haven't met enough.
I've had ESFP friends too. I agree that it can be good one on one, but not quite so good with a room full of them. They can balance the INTJ side in some cases help you act a little less like an INTJ when needed
Yeah, my best friend is an ESFP. When we were just starting to be friends, she called me and was just silent on the other line. I asked her why she called me and I guess she was offended..or offended because she said she wanted to talk and then I told her I had to go. XD
I agree with the small doses thing; mainly when she's around her other ExFx friends. I honestly think we've brought out the best in each other. She considers the consequences of her actions more carefully..sometimes...and I try and be more sociable and less "I hate the world, leave me alone." It's..a work in progress.
A funny thing is I was sort of a motherly figure in the first few years of our friendship - she'd always forget something or to do something (i.e. her homework, a towel, shoes..yes..that's happened) and somehow I'd know and bring a pair. I'm pretty sure we were destined to be best friends, if you believe in fate. So no, I don't think an ESFP/INTJ friendship is a weird thing, at least not after all the research I just did before posting this comment. (;
My main experience with them is that my little brother is an ESFP. We alternatively get along really, really well and don't understand each other at all. He finds me very baffling, but is ridiculously accepting at the same time. He likes making jokes and I usually do my best not to let him know that I think he's funny because he easily gets carried away. He acts like and idiot and has very different priorities from me, but we make a great team when we decide to work together on something. (We used to play video games together and team up to irritate our sisters or parents.) My brother also happens to be brilliant at math/science, though, so I can't exactly say he's a typical ESFP in that sense.
There is only one SF that I knowingly know, and my friends who *know* me, through whom I know her, have vowed to never let the two of us interact. ISFP, closest I've gotten. Based on initial interaction description alone, I find it highly unlikely that she would survive interaction with me.
I have a friend who is an ESFP. I wouldn't say we are best friends, because I don't confide in her or seek out advice from her. I will listen and offer wisdom to her, but that's definitely not something I am looking for in her.
We do spend a lot of time together, and she is a lot of fun. She is the one I turn to when I am tired of introspecting and need to get out of my head. She likes my calm, cool-headedness, and truth be told, I enjoy watching her in her element.
The most friction we've ever had is her telling me "Oh you just have to troubleshoot everything, don't you?" In turn, I just blinked.
I think one of my friends at school is an ESFP. She is quite chatty and random. Our thought processes are very far from similar, so I stay away from explaining anything to her. She is nice though, and sometimes I like being able to hide behind her chattiness.
One of my best friends is an ESFP. I've known her for over 20 years.
Some qualities I have really appreciated in her include her bluntness & honesty. She is about as blunt as you could possibly be. She is fantastic, for example, to talk to about 'female sexuality', especially as we have no romantic connection.
Also, compared to "societal standards," she would probably be considered to be a very imperfect person -- lots of skeletons in her closet -- but I admire her honesty, openness, & courage. She tells me all her flaws. Being the so-called INTJ 'nihilist', I accept her indiscretions without fail. I see things relatively. I think she likes that I can put things in perspective for her and logically explain why her choice or situation is not that bad....
She helps me too. She is great company (but I agree, not too often, or we will annoy each other). She reminds me to laugh heartily and enjoy life, to have fun and stop thinking sometimes. She can also be supportive in times of crises; if I was suddenly in a jam, homeless or hungry, she would be there in a heartbeat with open arms to do everything she can. She is a lovely person.
During uni I used to live with 6 chaps (INFJ, ISFJ, ISTJ, ENTP, ESTJ and ESFP) and was going along with them on pretty much equal level. On the very last day of the final term the ENFP guy told me that I'm his best friend. I was like "huh?!". As far as I'm concerned the bloke was far from my perception of a friend. I don't mind him but I always sensed thez a one-way understanding in this friendship. He ain't stupid- he read a lot and watched quality TV programs but the way he processed information drove me bonkers (no conclusions, no analysis, no further thought...). What's more he felt responsible to educate me on how to think and act "the right way" as mine seemed incomprehensible (therefore wrong) to him. When I made a joke he was staring at me as if I had two heads...
ESFPs have some personal potential that makes them likable but I can't see anything special about them. I don't have a problem with ESFPs but can't picture myself building a deep relationship with them.