I was just talking to someone about this yesterday... I have such wild mood swings. I'm at work right now so short responce but i have more to say <3
I like your poem btw... it makes me shiver because thats exactly how it is for me, cept for the beauty part =P
*edit*
I often wonder if this is just a thing about our type? Or if this only happens to those of us who go through some kind of trauma. There are days where I feel so happy to be alive and having fun, but then there are days where I'm so depressed that I want to be alone... because I don't want people to see me so depressed, and I can't stand faking anymore smiles.
I understand that feeling. I'm so used to expressing excitment or happieness. I do get introverted when I'm sad or have been hurt or injured. I don't want anyone to see me.Especially when I was young. OHH I was the queen at pretending like everything was ok.
Now that I am older .....I still carry tht habit but I try look for outlets. Usually a friend.
I have to say NO One person knows me 100%. I am unable of disclosing myself fully to one person.
I have had childhood trauma, so that maybe why I'm unbalanced and go thur emotional highs and lows and never let anyone in all the way.(WOW, 1st time I say that another person!)
I really have never been able to pin point it.
I usually go thur my downs alone though. I don't want people to see them or I want them to figure it out with out me telling them.(I think)
Anyway..Sorry for ranting.....I think it's a bit of both. Nature and Nurture.
I wan't you to rant all you want... seriously I wish the ESFP forum was more active so that maybe we could all understand ourselves better. I'm glad you came along because for awhile I was just ranting to an empty forum. Having others like me here helps me understand that I'm not crazy and it makes me feel better. It still feels pretty empty in here and I think its because its hard for us to talk about the negative.. even I start to feel like I'm talking too much and want to shy away from a thread.
hmmm, I've actually been thinking about writing a guide for the ESFP's section about the functions and what they mean for our type. I think it would be helpful for our part of the forum. It would take me some time though. I've been wanting to do it for awhile, its just I keep putting it off. When I learned about the cognitive functions it helped me understand so much more about myself and others, but it was pretty tough to try to grasp at first. I think a guide written by an ESFP for ESFP's may help more of us reach a better understanding of all the types.
Sumaya3357
You said some insightful things about your personality type in a previous post. You mentioned how no one knows you 100% and how you are unable to disclose yourself to people. Well, I have this ESFP friend who has always asked me millions of questions most of which granted are not that personal but nevertheless, as soon as I start to ask her questions she is evasive and even starts distancing herself. I can clearly tell that she hides parts of herself but I innocently draw attention to something about herself because it is so obvious to me and she nearly flips out. Then she throws temper tantrum from my perspective and I said you don't have any problem asking me a ton of stuff but soon as I ask you something you act like I'm doing something wrong. All she says is I don't ask you a lot of questions anymore. Lol. So, in my mind, I'm like I guess you stopped today then when I started asking you! Any thoughts all you ESFPs.
Hi
It's sounds to me like your friend may be afraid you might be critical of her responses. That is the only reason I can see why she would flip out.
She also prob doesn't realize she asks you a million questions. She had genuine interest in knowing who you are or learning from you.
Tell her you would like to know her too, as long as you are not critical of her she may open up.
I'm really glad to see a thread like this here. I've been lurking over here every now and then in an effort to try to understand you guys better, but it's usually pretty slow over here.
I have to say that what you two have been describing about your darker side really jives with what I've observed in my ESFP husband. He loves to ask me questions, but he has a really hard time talking about himself, especially anything negative. Only time he's ever really expressed his negative thoughts in a meaningful way was when he was practically having a nervous breakdown.
What can I do to help him talk about these things? Do you guys find it helps you to talk about your negative emotions, or do you feel better when you keep it away from people?
Now, I have an Issue with and INFJ I've been dating for a year now. Plain and simple He is driving me nuts. He has started making me feel emotionally drained. I have let him go but he won't let go of me.
I'm at the point where I can keep him in my life casually, but not as a serious relationship anymore.
We have alot of issues in between us.
We are in different places in our lives and don't think we can go any further.
He is super intelligent, but wants to continue a relationship that I think will never work.
We have gotten in to some pretty bad arguments. To the point where he became verbaly abusive.
I feel sometimes he uses my need for attention against me.
(As I'm writning this too you I'm thinking what am I doing allowing him back argghh)
Ohh, yeah because most of the time I can talk to him for hours. Most of the time its me doing the talking.
He encourages me to do more, be better and succeed.
He balances me by trying to organize me.
I admire is intelligence. ( He is really smart)
He really tries to take care of me when I'm at my worse.
I used to to LOVE him before we started fighting.
But I'm Not anymore and I don't know if I want him Im my life anymore
Maybe I just don't understand what he wants from me and or I can't meet his needs.
We'll if you can make any sense of my rant I would love to hear what you think![]()
I'm really glad to see a thread like this here. I've been lurking over here every now and then in an effort to try to understand you guys better, but it's usually pretty slow over here.
I have to say that what you two have been describing about your darker side really jives with what I've observed in my ESFP husband. He loves to ask me questions, but he has a really hard time talking about himself, especially anything negative. Only time he's ever really expressed his negative thoughts in a meaningful way was when he was practically having a nervous breakdown.
What can I do to help him talk about these things? Do you guys find it helps you to talk about your negative emotions, or do you feel better when you keep it away from people?
Yeah talking about it helps. I use to keep pretty much everything to myself. Its just something about needing to appear like things aren't as bad as they are. I learned to open up to some of my close friends, but just like suyama, I can't seem to disclose 100% of myself to anyone. Sometimes even my deepest and closest friends still notice me shutting them out. It's not that I don't want to talk about it though, its just a lot of the time I feel as though I'm just burdening them, or I don't think they will understand.
Right now I have a friend I've known since I was 12 asking me why I don't talk to her anymore about whats going on in my life. Well in this case its because she likes to be very judgmental about the things I tell her, but all I want is for her to listen to me without telling me how I should feel or what I should do. Often times I already know how I feel about something, and what I know what I'm going to do, I just want to let her know because.... she wants me to and I know she cares... but it makes me uneasy when she starts to suggest things for me to do or it even makes me mad when she tries to joke around when I'm trying to be serious. I know she just wants to cheer me up, but the way I see it, if she is just going to try to cheer me up, then I might as well not have told her in the first place. I could just act as though nothings bothering me in the first place because thats what I do all the time anyways.
So is there anything someone can do to make you feel safe opening up?