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(ㅇㅅㅇ❀) Meow
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Hi everyone. I'm new to mbti and I thought I was an introvert but I think I might actually be an ESFP. As a kid I was full of life and crazy. When I started to get older I would get bullied by others at school since I always drew attention to myself. The bullying lasted all the way until the end of high school. That changed how I behaved a lot. I became very shy and cautious around people. Even up to today it's a struggle between the person I've become and the person I really am on the inside. I'm wondering if any ESFPs can relate?

I've been seeing a therapist for quite awhile and that has helped. Hopefully I can go back to being my playful childish self someday.
 

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I'm going to have, I believe, my Te outlet discussion on tips that may or may not benefit you. So, excuse me if I'm wrong, hopefully I may be of some assistance. I was bullied as well, but made some form of shield through introspection that allowed me to fight against resenting myself and other people, per se. I have a friend that's an ESFP going through depression and he's currently driving me up that wall and making the worst decisions possible, like bringing bums over to his parent's home in risk that he might get caught and kicked out, getting into risky sex situations, etc, (albeit I do believe he has some sort of personality disorder that's making him do such things.) Though, what does your struggle entail? What makes you dislike your current person? B/c, even though I'm an ENFP, I don't believe I am too different from you. See, PerC really tries to make differences between people, but truthfully, those differences aren't that noticeable in the real world. Humans are humans, and we should have some sort of respect for each other. I am not having the easiest time in college. I'm double majoring in Physics and Music Performance, and it's becoming such a struggle that my nights are filled with red eyes and sweat and tears, hopeless for my own sanity.
Activities that do help people in your similar situation are meditation and exercise. Meditation would help with self-discovery—finding yourself again and exercise would tire you out so you wouldn't spend time worrying excessively, which I believe is an issue for you. Just really believe in yourself as a capable person and you should find yourself once again. Stay strong and peace be with you.
 

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(ㅇㅅㅇ❀) Meow
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Discussion Starter #3
I'm going to have, I believe, my Te outlet discussion on tips that may or may not benefit you. So, excuse me if I'm wrong, hopefully I may be of some assistance. I was bullied as well, but made some form of shield through introspection that allowed me to fight against resenting myself and other people, per se. I have a friend that's an ESFP going through depression and he's currently driving me up that wall and making the worst decisions possible, like bringing bums over to his parent's home in risk that he might get caught and kicked out, getting into risky sex situations, etc, (albeit I do believe he has some sort of personality disorder that's making him do such things.) Though, what does your struggle entail? What makes you dislike your current person? B/c, even though I'm an ENFP, I don't believe I am too different from you. See, PerC really tries to make differences between people, but truthfully, those differences aren't that noticeable in the real world. Humans are humans, and we should have some sort of respect for each other. I am not having the easiest time in college. I'm double majoring in Physics and Music Performance, and it's becoming such a struggle that my nights are filled with red eyes and sweat and tears, hopeless for my own sanity.
Activities that do help people in your similar situation are meditation and exercise. Meditation would help with self-discovery—finding yourself again and exercise would tire you out so you wouldn't spend time worrying excessively, which I believe is an issue for you. Just really believe in yourself as a capable person and you should find yourself once again. Stay strong and peace be with you.
Thanks i really appreciate it. :)

I'm not doing anything risky like your friend. I'm not doing anything at all. That's the problem. I recently started college and I want to do everything. Join lots of clubs make friends go to events etc, but I hold myself back. It's hard for me to get out of the house sometimes. I'm not confident in myself. I get very sensitive around people and I hate that.
 

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Thanks i really appreciate it. :)

I'm not doing anything risky like your friend. I'm not doing anything at all. That's the problem. I recently started college and I want to do everything. Join lots of clubs make friends go to events etc, but I hold myself back. It's hard for me to get out of the house sometimes. I'm not confident in myself. I get very sensitive around people and I hate that.

I get that way at times when suddenly I feel like all is just going wrong. And my gut is screaming, just be out there. With people! And you'll feel better. But when you depressed or otherwise not feeling 100% because of something weighing you down, you suddenly become aware of the energy it takes to meet with total strangers. And the even bigger amount of energy it takes to have fun. Not sure if this will work as a long term fix, but as a short term fix that helped me when I went through a week of isolation and a month of unemployment (and couldn't stand to watch Jerry Maguire one more fucking time).

Build yourself back up again by being a friend. To ONE person. The person you can be silly around, yourself around, and care for and listen to. Just do that. Tell yourself, I'm going to be a friend to my friend." It's just amazing where suddenly the surge of energy comes from to see someone you care about smile at something you said, and the weight that peels off you when you feel special again. Take that energy and bottle it. Also be sure to note the person's name because I do believe you've also found a best friend :)

Again, it's a short fix. And while I've been depressed plenty of times with directions my life was heading, I do not have clinical depression. But if you're wired the way I think you're wired, you'd be surprised how freaking effective this is.
 

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(ㅇㅅㅇ❀) Meow
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Discussion Starter #6
I get that way at times when suddenly I feel like all is just going wrong. And my gut is screaming, just be out there. With people! And you'll feel better. But when you depressed or otherwise not feeling 100% because of something weighing you down, you suddenly become aware of the energy it takes to meet with total strangers. And the even bigger amount of energy it takes to have fun. Not sure if this will work as a long term fix, but as a short term fix that helped me when I went through a week of isolation and a month of unemployment (and couldn't stand to watch Jerry Maguire one more fucking time).

Build yourself back up again by being a friend. To ONE person. The person you can be silly around, yourself around, and care for and listen to. Just do that. Tell yourself, I'm going to be a friend to my friend." It's just amazing where suddenly the surge of energy comes from to see someone you care about smile at something you said, and the weight that peels off you when you feel special again. Take that energy and bottle it. Also be sure to note the person's name because I do believe you've also found a best friend :)

Again, it's a short fix. And while I've been depressed plenty of times with directions my life was heading, I do not have clinical depression. But if you're wired the way I think you're wired, you'd be surprised how freaking effective this is.
You know what, you're right. I've been so worn out from my feelings that I don't have enough energy to do everything I want right away. I'll take it one step at a time and be a friend. Thank you :)
 
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Hi everyone. I'm new to mbti and I thought I was an introvert but I think I might actually be an ESFP. As a kid I was full of life and crazy. When I started to get older I would get bullied by others at school since I always drew attention to myself. The bullying lasted all the way until the end of high school. That changed how I behaved a lot. I became very shy and cautious around people. Even up to today it's a struggle between the person I've become and the person I really am on the inside. I'm wondering if any ESFPs can relate?

I've been seeing a therapist for quite awhile and that has helped. Hopefully I can go back to being my playful childish self someday.
You will, the only question is when.
 

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Hi everyone. I'm new to mbti and I thought I was an introvert but I think I might actually be an ESFP. As a kid I was full of life and crazy. When I started to get older I would get bullied by others at school since I always drew attention to myself. The bullying lasted all the way until the end of high school. That changed how I behaved a lot. I became very shy and cautious around people. Even up to today it's a struggle between the person I've become and the person I really am on the inside. I'm wondering if any ESFPs can relate?

I've been seeing a therapist for quite awhile and that has helped. Hopefully I can go back to being my playful childish self someday.
Yeah that sounds like exactly what happened to me, I am still recovering. It sucks. One thing that has helped me be back to my old self is weed, though I know its not healthy to rely on. Kids can be cruel.
 

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I get that way at times when suddenly I feel like all is just going wrong. And my gut is screaming, just be out there. With people! And you'll feel better. But when you depressed or otherwise not feeling 100% because of something weighing you down, you suddenly become aware of the energy it takes to meet with total strangers. And the even bigger amount of energy it takes to have fun. Not sure if this will work as a long term fix, but as a short term fix that helped me when I went through a week of isolation and a month of unemployment (and couldn't stand to watch Jerry Maguire one more fucking time).

Build yourself back up again by being a friend. To ONE person. The person you can be silly around, yourself around, and care for and listen to. Just do that. Tell yourself, I'm going to be a friend to my friend." It's just amazing where suddenly the surge of energy comes from to see someone you care about smile at something you said, and the weight that peels off you when you feel special again. Take that energy and bottle it. Also be sure to note the person's name because I do believe you've also found a best friend :)

Again, it's a short fix. And while I've been depressed plenty of times with directions my life was heading, I do not have clinical depression. But if you're wired the way I think you're wired, you'd be surprised how freaking effective this is.
I hella relate to that first paragraph.

This is really good advice. When you think about it, most people really only have one or two sidekicks that they always hang out with, and branch out from there. Just having one person who you can go balls to the wall with is enough to get you up and going again.
 

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I've been battling depression since last December. It's very hard for ESFP's because we live in the moment. So if we're depressed then that is the moment we live in and that's all we can think about. So I want to encourage you to know that there will be a time in the future that you won't be depressed. How you get there is going to be your own journey. But strive to be there, want to be there! These present moments of depression may seem like everything to you now. But when you are over it you will look back and learn and grow from it
Confidence is key to an ESFPs life because we are always performing for people. If you play an instrument or have played sports it will be easier to understand an ESFP's nervousness. Imagine if you have a piano recital and you haven't practiced for it. You are afraid to mess up. You know you are going to suck. This makes you so nervous that you might not even decide to play. As an ESFP, we think every moment with others is that piano recital. And if you aren't used to talking with people you can become so nervous that you decide not to do it. Or if the crowd seems to hard to please you might not think you are good enough to impress them. The solution to this is hard because you just have to throw yourself in. There isn't really "practice" to life. You have to do life to practice these skills. I notice that I become more confident in myself the better I get to know a group. So that maybe the first time I meet someone I'm still figuring out how to perform. But after a number of hangouts I'm able to know how to make them laugh and how to have a good time with them. So they key is to jump in!
Sensitivity to others:
Because we are performers we want to please the crowd or people. We also avoid doing things that we think they won't like. This can be crippling though because if you are too afraid to displease people you won't act like yourself.

How I got out of depression:
Well for me I had a a major change in job situation. I went from working graveyards to working the regular 9-5. This helped me see people and hangout, and not be tired all the time. I also met someone with the most ridiculous humor that I had to try to match it everytime we hangout. But ultimately talking or writing about these depression feelings is awesome. As ESFPs we rarely take the time to analyze, process, and figure out our emotions. Bouncing off feelings with others can be very helpful even if its complete strangers. This helps you know that you aren't alone in this. And that others can understand you if you give them the chance. Hopefully you have solid people in your life that you can trust with hard information. Who can accept your feelings and help you work through it. *play music, Michael Jackson- You are not alone*
 

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I was an outgoing child until about 6 or 7 years old I became super shy and sensitive due to some abuse at home. Because of my shyness and sensitivity my friends would like to pretend to be mad at me to try and get me to have an emotional breakdown and cry. It was hell, I was bullied by my own friends. It fucked me up, made me super reluctant to open up to people made me have a lot of self doubt and hatred. Underneath all that I was a bubbly easy going girl who loved to make people laugh, but it was hard me to externalize that because of all my self doubt. Through therapy, my church, and just growing up I have been able to slow break through that barrier letting the inner ESFP leak out :)
 

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I relate. I took the MBTI test in junior high and I got INTP. This is why I was very confused about myself. I realized that wasn't right and called myself an ENTP but it didn't feel quite right. I think that's why I've felt depressed and why I don't belong anywhere...its hard to be an ESFP in todays world but I am pretty sure this just means that the world needs more of us. ESFPs have a beautiful way of lifting people up.
 

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Confidence is key to an ESFPs life because we are always performing for people. If you play an instrument or have played sports it will be easier to understand an ESFP's nervousness. Imagine if you have a piano recital and you haven't practiced for it. You are afraid to mess up. You know you are going to suck. This makes you so nervous that you might not even decide to play. As an ESFP, we think every moment with others is that piano recital. And if you aren't used to talking with people you can become so nervous that you decide not to do it. Or if the crowd seems to hard to please you might not think you are good enough to impress them. The solution to this is hard because you just have to throw yourself in. There isn't really "practice" to life. You have to do life to practice these skills.
This is soooooo true. I have played piano for almost 20 years and I can say that being in a crowd I don't feel comfortable in feels like when I mess up at a piano recital. I used to think it was an inferiority complex but then I realized that I just hold myself to ridiculously high standards.
 

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sAMEEEEEEEEEEEE
IT'S JUST HARD MAN
LIEK THE WORLD JUST HATES US
SAME SAME SAME SAME
but we have swAG
I'M ALMOST THERE TO THE POINT OF CHANGING
BUT I'M TRYING NOT TO, YOU FEEL

BUT ARGH NOWDAYS I JUST WANNA TURN OFF THE CAP LOCKS AND GO CRY

I FFEEEEL YOU FEEEL YOUU FEEEEEELS
 

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Don't you just *hate* that? When you were one way and then one day you're just not who you were anymore? It's like you're trapped and you can't break through.

Sooo frustrating.

But you can break through; you just have to peel back whatever influences put you in that jail to begin with.

It takes time to heal...and sometimes therapy, sometimes meds, sometimes just faith & patience...or all of the above and that's okay.

I feel you though!



Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 

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(ㅇㅅㅇ❀) Meow
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Discussion Starter #17
Annd I'm feeling depressed again....
I know this takes time to get through but I'm not patient at all :bored:
 

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Confidence is key to an ESFPs life because we are always performing for people. If you play an instrument or have played sports it will be easier to understand an ESFP's nervousness. Imagine if you have a piano recital and you haven't practiced for it. You are afraid to mess up. You know you are going to suck. This makes you so nervous that you might not even decide to play. As an ESFP, we think every moment with others is that piano recital. And if you aren't used to talking with people you can become so nervous that you decide not to do it. Or if the crowd seems to hard to please you might not think you are good enough to impress them. The solution to this is hard because you just have to throw yourself in. There isn't really "practice" to life. You have to do life to practice these skills. I notice that I become more confident in myself the better I get to know a group. So that maybe the first time I meet someone I'm still figuring out how to perform. But after a number of hangouts I'm able to know how to make them laugh and how to have a good time with them. So they key is to jump in!
Sensitivity to others:
Because we are performers we want to please the crowd or people. We also avoid doing things that we think they won't like. This can be crippling though because if you are too afraid to displease people you won't act like yourself.

How I got out of depression:
Well for me I had a a major change in job situation. I went from working graveyards to working the regular 9-5. This helped me see people and hangout, and not be tired all the time. I also met someone with the most ridiculous humor that I had to try to match it everytime we hangout. But ultimately talking or writing about these depression feelings is awesome. As ESFPs we rarely take the time to analyze, process, and figure out our emotions. Bouncing off feelings with others can be very helpful even if its complete strangers. This helps you know that you aren't alone in this. And that others can understand you if you give them the chance. Hopefully you have solid people in your life that you can trust with hard information. Who can accept your feelings and help you work through it. *play music, Michael Jackson- You are not alone*
I'm not an ESFP but I can strongly relate with this. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.

I've been battling depression since last December. It's very hard for ESFP's because we live in the moment. So if we're depressed then that is the moment we live in and that's all we can think about. So I want to encourage you to know that there will be a time in the future that you won't be depressed. How you get there is going to be your own journey. But strive to be there, want to be there! These present moments of depression may seem like everything to you now. But when you are over it you will look back and learn and grow from it.
This I can't relate so much with. Depression just kills my energy levels.
 

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I relate. I took the MBTI test in junior high and I got INTP. This is why I was very confused about myself. I realized that wasn't right and called myself an ENTP but it didn't feel quite right. I think that's why I've felt depressed and why I don't belong anywhere...its hard to be an ESFP in todays world but I am pretty sure this just means that the world needs more of us. ESFPs have a beautiful way of lifting people up.
It can seem hard since the world is primarily based for SJs. ESFP might get criticized for valuing harmony and fun over repetition of tasks and follow rules.

Would you rather be someone who gets criticized for wanting to have fun or be someone who enjoys sucking the fun out of life?
 
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