God of 1000 Suns
It sounds a lot like me and my mom. Except, from my perspective, I wasn't underestimating her, just trying to warn her/make her aware of her limitations so she could work on them and surpass them. :/
Makes me happy to know you hold no hard feelings for your sister though!
As an ESFP I understood that she was just looking out for me even if it was in my opinion that it was too much. She was so hurt when i decided to move out and it was hard for her to tell me. But when she finally confronted me and I saw how hard it was for her to tell me how she felt- I was the one who started crying -_-
I think you should just tell your mom how you feel and that you do love her and express all these concerns that you have shared with us.