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Discussion Starter #1
I got the best compliment the other day from one of my INTJ friends. He called me an INTJ-battery, which made me so amazingly warm and fuzzy inside. I checked with another INTJ friend and she confirmed that she never feels drained when around me. So, I was wondering... is this a result of duality? Or have you INTJs felt this with other types as well?
 

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ESFPs can be a lot of fun and bring a kind of energy to the room that I appreciate. But it really depends on the person. I find some people restful and some exhausting, regardless of type.

I'd take the battery comment as a compliment just for you, not to all ESFPs.
 

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RE the whole Duality concept:

I know type descriptions make it sound like types come out of a factory looking alike, but in reality both ESFP and INTJ can be very different from within the same type. So when you mention ESFP/INTJ Duality, there are certain types of ESFP who do much better with certain types of INTJ and vice-versa. These :subtypes" influence the functions, which influence the interactions greatly even among "Duals."

Personally, the more Se-ish the ESFP is, the less likely I am to find them easy to become close with, or spend time around. The more Fi-ish they are, the more fluid conversations tend to be. With the Se-ish ones there is more cat and mouse game playing, testing of each others' will, etc. The Te-Fi exchanges (which I like much better) are more about chatting about shared opinions, seeing what each other thinks about ideas, etc. I'm a more Te-ish INTJ, and I like more Fi-ish ESFP.

The main thing I (secretly) like about ESFP is their zaniness. Most do NOT realize they come across this way to others, they believe themselves to be serious. But they have this way of engaging, where their random sympathies here are there lead them to become scattered or in search of input. I find that kind of endearing. Usually when people say things I consider "dumb" I have a negative reaction, but ESFP sometimes say things that are silly and non-serious but strike me in an endearing way; it's weird. If it's the opposite gender, it's actually a really strong force of attraction for me (and one no other type, save some ENFP, have).

The other thing I really like about ESFP (especially in contrast with the E__J types) is willingness to give space. Your type is usually persistent in getting in touch regularly/at some point which I like, but it isn't CONSTANT STEADY interaction. I like chatting, taking a break, and coming back after awhile more than "we MUST talk every day." This works well with INTJ because our type often has periods of being moody and either not wanting to engage, or engaging but with the expectation that any kind of rant, tirade, or annoyance can be let out.
 

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Discussion Starter #5
The more Fi-ish they are, the more fluid conversations tend to be.
I wonder if I'm more Fi-ish...

I love having conversations with INTJs. Your Ni-Te combination always intrigues me and I always come away from our conversations with this feeling that I've learned something through our interactions. I love how authentic you guys are and how I never have to speculate about motive when speaking to you (as friends, romantically is a whole 'nother kettle of fish.) I am quite jealous of your analytical prowess and the ease in which you use it.

The main thing I (secretly) like about ESFP is their zaniness... Usually when people say things I consider "dumb" I have a negative reaction, but ESFP sometimes say things that are silly and non-serious but strike me in an endearing way; it's weird.
For me, I find INTJ awkwardness adorable. My INTJ best friend was telling me a story of how sometimes she needs to psych herself up to talk to strangers. She does an internal countdown and tells herself that after one she's going to start the conversation. She's one of the most intelligent, confident, and capable women that I know, so seeing her sheepish face as she admitted this hidden fact to me made me go all gooey and mushy inside. It was adorable. I loved her even more for this dichotomy in her personality.

And she probably loves the fact that I get so excited that I run into walls (literally), get lost in restaurants, and generally am the source of constant amusement for her. She's either usually laughing with me or laughing at me (usually while I'm laughing at the same time too.) What I like best about her is that we constantly enjoy our time together. There's never been a time where I've ever regretted being her friend, which makes her something precious beyond words to me.
 

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Discussion Starter #6
ESFPs can be a lot of fun and bring a kind of energy to the room that I appreciate. But it really depends on the person. I find some people restful and some exhausting, regardless of type.

I'd take the battery comment as a compliment just for you, not to all ESFPs.
Awww... thank you for this, Green Girl. Taking it as a compliment just for me makes me feel even more warm and fuzzy inside. (^_^

ESFPs charge me up. Most extroverts do to an extent, but ESFPs by far the most, followed by ENFPs
What is it about extroverts (and ESFPs in particular) that charges you up? (^_^
 

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Well I like how their E is all over the place and their emotions and mood are always readable on their faces, lol. Us INTJs have trouble reading other peoples' mood and ESFPs totally remove the need for guessing. And IF we still don't get what they're feeling, they tell us right away. I find this very attractive. I also find ESFPs to be genuinely interested in other peoples' wellbeing, even people they have only just met. This is one of the things I admire and respect about them. Figure also made another good point, re. the ability of ExFPs to persistently keep in touch without being monotonous and predictable in how they get in touch. I contrast this, for example, with ENTJs who also spare no effort in keeping in touch, but don't know how to give space. When they maintain regular contact, an ENTJ's first action as they initiate each contact is to debrief the other party on the progress they (the ENTJs) have made on whatever projects they are working on, even if those projects have nothing to do with the other party. Only after they complete their debrief they can go into other subjects. This becomes a bit tiring at times. ExFPs are much less predictable and more varied in making contact.
 

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The contradictions... the unwillingness to talk theory, referring it as "trying to get into their head", when I'm simply talking about an idea. They then go ahead and make decisions, based on their feelings, which appears extremely contradictory to me. It's hard for me to wrap my mind around this. And yes I can be contradictory too, but not at this rate. I told the one ESFP I went on the 2nd date with, look, I need to get off this bus now.

I can see it working if I was really physically attracted to the person 100%
 

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I don’t know buy into Socionics duality concept (or the system as a whole) much, but I like ESFPs. The male ones generally get on my nerves more than the female ones.

They’re fun, quirky, and a little weird but they don’t realize it. In a good way. Most everyone usually likes them. They’re often much more intelligent than they give themselves credit for.

It’s not something that I’ve ever consciously picked up on before, but it is true that they don’t exhaust me to be around in the way EXFJs often do. Probably because they’re always jumping to the next thing so there’s not a constant expectation of emotional engagement. Not suffocating.

I’ve known more ESFP girls than guys. The girls are fun to flirt or just to talk with. We get along well. There’s a little bit of the “ugh, you’re horrible” that I get from other types (mainly FJ females), but they’re only teasing and don’t mean it. They’re very genuine in their own zany way, which is enjoyable.

I think they’re cute, and would make for a fun girlfriend. They’d definitely help me ease up and enjoy my Fi and Se a little more It’d take a very special one for us to be long term compatible though.
 
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