[sitodocambia]

I'm having some trouble typing my emotionally unstable friend.

I'm having lots of trouble finding out what type best fits one of my best friends. She seems to be more of an ESTP than an ESFP, but I wanted to hear your imput. She seems to be much more people-focused than task or system-focused, but she hates romance movies/books, partially because they're unrealistic. She finds too many romantic gestures to be sickening. She's also constantly complaining about how unrealistic certain people's dreams are, at which point I try to remind her that people can and do attain their dreams and that she needs to keep faith in her own dreams (because she gets down on herself easily). She's very overemotional in certain circumstances, which I think is because her parents taught her to repress her emotions. Now that she lives in college she doesn't have her parents to tell her not to be emotionally expressive, so her feelings boil to the surface easily as they try to assert themselves after years of repression. She gets very worried and stressed about the future (which I think is due to inferior intuition) and is extremely worried that bad things will happen to everyone she gets close to (which I think is because she lost a lot of people very close to her). She seems to use lots of extraverted feeling, constantly trying to please her parents, enjoying the designated holiday celebrations, etc., but she also might use introverted feeling instead (she's very independent, says that if someone doesn't accept her for who she is then it's their problem, doesn't change herself for anybody, and accused me of being selfish for not going out of my way to accomodate her one day). Some of these Fi behaviors could actually stem from tertiary Fe. Consequently, I'm not sure of her type preferences. I feel very bad for her because she's had a very hard life, and I think I could inspire her to follow her dreams and get through her emotional hardships better if I only could be sure of her type preferences. Can someone please help me find her true preferences?

 

[LiquidLight]

The biggest difference between the two will be Fe. ESTP will noticeably appeal to measures of group harmony, value judgments, etc. It may not come out as the most dominant aspect of their personality, but you should notice a tendency for them to adopt a "what's good for the group is good for me," kind of disposition. ESFPs are much, much more self-oriented. Especially when it comes to things like personal style (think Flava Flav). I think ESFPs tend to care a lot less about what other people think of them or what they do, much more oriented to the moment, and to some, probably more superficial (as Te may often come across as street smart but not book smart in these types). I think actually ESTPs are, in practice, harder to differentiate from well-functioning ISTPs than they are ESFPs.

Usually the thing that gives away someone as a Sensation type though is their generally poor intuitive abilities. They tend to jump to conclusions or might perhaps be superstitious or distrusting of anything for which there is no immediate evidence and the like.

 

[sitodocambia]

Usually the thing that gives away someone as a Sensation type though is their generally poor intuitive abilities. They tend to jump to conclusions or might perhaps be superstitious or distrusting of anything for which there is no immediate evidence and the like.

That's definitely true of her. Your explanation's making me lean more towards ESFP now though, but I'll have to think about it more. Thanks for the imput!