[Parade of Sparrows]

You wanna figure out if he is Se Dominant or Ne dominant to figure out whether hes an ESFP or ENFP. On the surface the two types seem to be similar.

What does he talk about when he gossips? If talks more about possibilities and interconnections, then I would say ENFP. When ESFP gossip, we tend to talk about what we know and actually hear or see.

Examples of how each type might gossip
ENFP : "Don't you think its wierd that Julia wasn't wearing her wedding ring?Her and Mike must be fighting again, I wouldn't be surprised if Julia went back to her parents"
ESFP : "Did you see how how Mike and Julia didn't even wanna look at each other? I asked Mike what was going on and he told me that Julia went back to her parents"

Here's a good resource on the differences in cog function.
ENFP Wiki

 

[Parade of Sparrows]

He wants to be ENFP because he feels it's better to be an intuitive I believe. I think there's a lot about his natural tendencies that he doesn't like very much. And his habits with money are definitely influenced by how he was raised. He does seem somewhat more balanced of an ESFP, but only in some ways.

I feel the same way that he does about my type, but denial doesn't change anything. If you aren't Intuitive, then you aren't Intuitive. I find that I envy Intuitives because they can do things I can't and are taken more seriously, but as I learned more about Sensing I realized that Sensors have great memory and information recall. I started using it more to my advantage and with confidence.

 

[Parade of Sparrows]

He's in his 40's.

I've definitely thought about ESFJ, but he doesn't have the directive style of communicating. He doesn't feel comfortable giving orders. Only time he does that is when someone pushes him over the edge. He usually just infers is desires.

He's never wanted to fit what he calls the "party animal" persona. He doesn't approve of it, although his natural tendency is to want to have fun all the time. He almost never rejects a party invite. He's pretty responsible though for someone who prefers ESFP.

Being an esfp doesn't automatically make you irresponsible. Also he's much older so a lot of the immaturity you would see from younger esfp would have passed. As you grow older a person should become more balanced with use of their tertiary functions and inferior functions