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ESFP questions

2239 Views 11 Replies 5 Participants Last post by  soul searcher
I'm going to write as accurate a personal profile that I can, and ask that someone help me type it. Said person has tested three times as ESFP. Some of the supposed traits of ESFP do not fit however.

He's very outgoing and gregarious. He can strike up a conversation with nearly anyone, but sometimes misses it when someone sends out "leave me alone" signals. He is the life of any party and flits from person to person happily talking about everything in the world and nothing at all. He is very physical, loves to touch people on the shoulder or back as he talks to them, but again, sometimes misses it when someone feels uncomfortable with the contact. He has a really hard time closing a conversation, misses clues that the other person is ready to walk away. But overall, he is very much liked. People say he is fun and easy to talk to.

He has a very round about way of asking for things. He does not like to give commands, but is very irritated if a person doesn't understand what was implied when he said, "Looks like the dog might be hungry" or something like that. He doesn't want to demand, but he wants people to understand what he wants them to do from what was implied. He can very quickly get extremely angry if he cannot seem to gain a person's cooperation. He wants constant support.

He is very affectionate and loving most of the time. He loves kids and animals.

He loves the good things in life: food, drinks, friends, the beauty of nature. He revels in these things, but usually finds no deeper meaning in any of them. The point to him is simply to enjoy life as much as possible.

His decisions are usually based on his feeling of the moment rather than any plan. He's not a planner and really values the ablility to be spontaneous. He frequently breaks promises because of his desire to live in the moment and to be unencumbered.

He is very tight with his money. He is a saver and not a spender. He would most likely have very nice things if it weren't for this tendency, as he loves the finer things. He just can't seem to bring himself to open his wallet for them. He is very stingy with his money, but he likes to try to make a gift out of things that don't cost anything. He views nearly everything he does for others as a gift for which he deserves a show of appreciation. He makes a gift of the groceries, or some thing someone gave him. So he has a very strong desire to appear generous, and indeed tends to view himself so. He can be generous in many ways which have nothing to do with money.

He has very traditional values and is fiercely loyal to friends and family. He very much looks down on anyone who is disloyal to a mate or who gives in to bad habits. He tends to be very judgemental of those who have weaknesses or have done something he disapproves of. Once he has made his judgement, it sticks. He will have a very hard time looking at it any other way in the future. He's also quite sensitive to the judgements of others, and as a result is nearly obsessive about protecting his reputation. He becomes very uncomfortable if he feels others don't approve of him or any of his family.

He is very fearful and has tendencies that look very much like OCD. He's very compulsive about safety and locking up, checking multiple times to make sure.

He has a very quick temper and cannot be reasoned with when he is angry. He can become violent in speech and sometimes action as well. He has a very strong need to be in control. He cannot take criticism, which will usually set off a tantrum. Unsolicited suggestions from others can also get his blood boiling.

Although he wants no unsolicited direction, he very frequently asks for advice, as he has trouble making decisions on his own. Even small decisions are occasions to ask for advice. He will even ask a perfect stranger rather than trust is own feeling on the matter.

Okay, I know there are probably things I didn't include that would be helpful, but I can't think of much more to say now. Just ask me to clarify if need be.
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He doesn't want to be ESFP, he'd rather be ENFP.
The only things that didn't seem to fit were the fact that he is so principled and loyal, and also not at all a spendthrift.
Why does he want to be ENFP and not ESFP? If it's because he doesn't want to fit the ESFP stereotype of excess-party-party-spendy-spendy, maybe he's a more balanced ESFP who uses his auxiliary function Fi more? Growing up, was his parents a certain way with money that influenced him to value saving money more? Maybe find out why he wants to be ENFP and also emphasize how he uses Fi and Te to curb the excess. Lol.
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