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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I have a friend of mine that I, despite my inexperience with MBTI, can hardly think of anything else than an ESFP.
He is very agreeable and talkative and we have had many rewarding discussions about religion, philosophy and such (and quite a few monologues about football). :tongue:

The thing that I have noticed is that when the discussion comes to certain topics (such as evolution) he seems to just have 'determined' that he will not understand it. I have no doubt that he could, had he tried, but he refuses. Also certain subjects in school (physics) are also receiving the same treatment, even though he could do better. It doesn't really seem to be a conscious choice either, it just is.

Do any other ESFPs recognise this? Do you 'block' certain things out, being .. um.. fundamentalistic about them? Or maybe it is just a personal quirk? :unsure:
If you do, what do you suspect it could be caused by?
Also, do you know any way to deal with it? It is a shame he is not using his full potential, I think. :sad:
 

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After a while you get to know what you're good at and which you should avoid, like physics or calculus for example. The things I've given up on I was an absolute failure in or something very similar. I tend to stick with whatever I'm strong at and try to develop that instead of breaking my head over something I know I can't. I'm happy to hear there's a least one other person who knows an ESFP who likes to talk about "deeper"things because I believe that's a stereotype I don't fit either and love to have deep convos. Sounds like this person isn't into anything science related though, which isn't atypical, though I love sciences myself, I just can't be bothered with physics because of it's relation to math and I can't stand math except algebra. I am able to draw reasonably well and I know people who would say "oh you are so good at that I wish I could draw!" and I'd be like "have you tried?" and most would say almost exactly "no I can't even draw a stick man" but they won't actually try because they assume they can't but being based on experience that they are no good, they don't bother. I didn't "know" I could until I tried something one day out of boredom and got positive feedback, so I did lots more. Hmmm I just came a realization about me being pushy possibly by insisting they try lol. Doh!

EDIT: Just thought of a funny incident where me and a friend were trying to teach a freind of ours how to play bass guitar. We thought it should be easy enough, well....!

She was so insistent that she had to hold it a certain way and it wasn't pretty. She laid it on the bed while sitting with the headstock pointing towards her and insisted the only way she could do this was to put her fingers in the fretboard in a completely backasswords way because of the position of the bass and I wondered how she was gonna pick the strings. :confused: :crazy:

I seriously thought anyone could learn to play an instrument but I was horribly mistaken. The moral of the story: some people just aren't meant to do some things to the extreme lol.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
You mean not trying something because you think (know) you will fail? And you could never become proficient either and just humiliate yourself for no reason? It would make sense, I could relate to that.
He is not bad at the other sciences though, I think he is actually studying biomedicine at the university now. It was just Physics (my field) that met such resistance, unproportionally big resistance if you ask me.

When I think of it, we fit the description of the INTP-ESFP relationship quite well. We are different; he is religious, likes sport, dislikes physics and care about fashion, I am an atheist/agnostic, likes physics and think sport and fashion are meaningless. Yet we are interested in each other and got along really well, despite disagreeing about so many things.

I think his resistance against evolution springs from his upbringing (religious) and may be some sort of pride (are ESFPs proud, generally?).
Maybe it be Fi that feels violated when an old value is threatened? Or it could be a world-view function (Ni, which I have seen signs of in our conversations*) who can be quite rigid. Well I don't know. But it bothers me that he doesn't even try, just like those you spoke of that don't try to draw because "the can't draw". I suppose I can understand him, but he should still try. (I actually reason from a (hypothetical) religious perspective when we talk about those things (or we get nowhere)). It doesn't have to bad to be pushy.

* I think our discussions have helped him to further develop his Ni, which is great. I would guess a well developed Ni probably leads ESFPs towards greater interest in the academics.
 

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You mean not trying something because you think (know) you will fail? And you could never become proficient either and just humiliate yourself for no reason? It would make sense, I could relate to that.
He is not bad at the other sciences though, I think he is actually studying biomedicine at the university now. It was just Physics (my field) that met such resistance, unproportionally big resistance if you ask me.

When I think of it, we fit the description of the INTP-ESFP relationship quite well. We are different; he is religious, likes sport, dislikes physics and care about fashion, I am an atheist/agnostic, likes physics and think sport and fashion are meaningless. Yet we are interested in each other and got along really well, despite disagreeing about so many things.

I think his resistance against evolution springs from his upbringing (religious) and may be some sort of pride (are ESFPs proud, generally?).
Maybe it be Fi that feels violated when an old value is threatened? Or it could be a world-view function (Ni, which I have seen signs of in our conversations*) who can be quite rigid. Well I don't know. But it bothers me that he doesn't even try, just like those you spoke of that don't try to draw because "the can't draw". I suppose I can understand him, but he should still try. (I actually reason from a (hypothetical) religious perspective when we talk about those things (or we get nowhere)). It doesn't have to bad to be pushy.

* I think our discussions have helped him to further develop his Ni, which is great. I would guess a well developed Ni probably leads ESFPs towards greater interest in the academics.
I promise I'll reply to this tomorrow, I gotta get to sleep for a gruelling day tomorrow lol.
 

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You mean not trying something because you think (know) you will fail? And you could never become proficient either and just humiliate yourself for no reason? It would make sense, I could relate to that.
He is not bad at the other sciences though, I think he is actually studying biomedicine at the university now. It was just Physics (my field) that met such resistance, unproportionally big resistance if you ask me.
Yeah that's what I mean because usually there's been something similar I've attempted and I just "know' it's futile. I would if I had nothing better to do but I'm sure I would just get a massive headache, get frustrated for myself for not being able to do so and feeling bad about myself even more than before I tried. It really, really bothers me when I can't be good at something. I was really good at biology and other general sciences, but terrible at chemistry and I didn't go anywhere near physics. Is it possible this person isn't good at math and finds the idea of knowing all those formulae intimidating? That's it for me to say the least.

When I think of it, we fit the description of the INTP-ESFP relationship quite well. We are different; he is religious, likes sport, dislikes physics and care about fashion, I am an atheist/agnostic, likes physics and think sport and fashion are meaningless. Yet we are interested in each other and got along really well, despite disagreeing about so many things.
I like my INTPs :happy: but I am more like you I believe. Maybe you both subconsciously feel you can rub off on each other in a positive way.

I think his resistance against evolution springs from his upbringing (religious) and may be some sort of pride (are ESFPs proud, generally?).
Maybe it be Fi that feels violated when an old value is threatened? Or it could be a world-view function (Ni, which I have seen signs of in our conversations*) who can be quite rigid. Well I don't know. But it bothers me that he doesn't even try, just like those you spoke of that don't try to draw because "the can't draw". I suppose I can understand him, but he should still try. (I actually reason from a (hypothetical) religious perspective when we talk about those things (or we get nowhere)). It doesn't have to bad to be pushy.
Hmm very likely but I was religious moderately when quite a bit younger and decided that there was room for both theories, now I think creationism is just dumb. Maybe it's the Fi I'm not familiar enough with the functions to say. I just started understanding as I was answering so there's hope lol. I myself rebel when someone gets pushy with me so that could be a possibility too. The more I'm pushed the more stubborn I get lol.

* I think our discussions have helped him to further develop his Ni, which is great. I would guess a well developed Ni probably leads ESFPs towards greater interest in the academics.
I could use that for sure lol. Mine is seriously crippled. I'm not sure if that would be the thing because as a child I loved school, mostly because I performed extremely well. When I stopped mostly due to stress I stopped caring entirely. I think it's from going from one extreme to another though in my case. I still am trying to absorb as much as I can about things I'm interested and learning some new things but without the ability to master things so easily I get frustrated and tend to give up at least for a while depending on my interest in the subject and how much I feel I could be successful or not eventually.
 
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